More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

[HaulCitgo]

Cause I prefer this thread... Kid got Veo for first time Sunday. Hes seen himself a couple times cause other teams in the league bring theirs and post on YouTube but been waiting patiently to see if the yellow was deserved. He doesnt remember anything except a huge bruise on his leg, in the same spot where he got a huge bruise the day prior. Hes a CDM this year so dirty work. Anyone have any good taping techniques?

[The Sybian]

Cause I prefer this thread... Kid got Veo for first time Sunday. Hes seen himself a couple times cause other teams in the league bring theirs and post on YouTube but been waiting patiently to see if the yellow was deserved. He doesnt remember anything except a huge bruise on his leg, in the same spot where he got a huge bruise the day prior. Hes a CDM this year so dirty work. Anyone have any good taping techniques?

Not sure what you mean. We've found 12 - 15 feet high is the ideal height for the camera. I prefer lower, some prefer higher. Other than that, I think the camera takes all the guess work out of filming. Former guy had a cell phone sim card for the camera for live streaming, but that only worked half the time, if that. Sometimes problem with the website, and sometimes the cell signal wasn't strong enough. Even when it did work, the stream would be a couple minutes behind real time. Did you have a specific question about using the camera?

[HaulCitgo]

Meant old school athletic tape. His legs and feet are getting beat up. Dub me a copy of that Redman tho

Eta. While I'm asking coach says man or ball when he gets exposed on counters with bigger faster players. Might as well scream sweep the leg. What is the best technique for a kid to use to take out a guy on counters, beat in space, etc?

[HaulCitgo]

Legit soccer question here. If I cant find it here it can't be found. What is the safest fairest technique to definitely take down a face up bigger faster offensive player with momentum in space.

[Nonlinear FC]

I mean, not sure what you mean by safest, but if it's just a matter of stopping someone that's about to make a run at goal, it's basically to turn your hips and impede the guy, who will likely truck you and draw a foul, but if you do it with the right timing and make some effort to get tangled up over the ball, you'll avoid a card.

I'm guessing you're saying defender is out on island with a guy running at them. That's a tough spot. Much less safe and likely to get you a card is to scissor tackle from the front. Not a lot of straight reds in youth soccer, so... YMMV.

[HaulCitgo]

Thx

[HaulCitgo]

Kid wanted to workout so at MS and most composed on same page girls I have ever seen. Tophat dont know what team maybe u17s will shit on your team. Kid will come out here and learn more watching. Wow.

[HaulCitgo]

15 points this fall. Not far off the previous four seasons combined. Today they did it without 3 of their best 5. Belief is infectious but attention is waning for some reason. Not sure why but kids got something better apparently. Nothing but good for my kid. Super clean against a decently good team and they needed it.

[HaulCitgo]

Kid finished regular season with 5 wins 4 ties. 10 goals against in 12. Pretty remarkable turn from u13 no points against any Georgia clubs. Gained a bunch of cdm skills that will serve him very well going forward. Drifting 3-5 steps one way or another makes all the difference. Biggest respect is the keeper and defenders play him in tight spaces or limited cover. You can lose games in those spots. Getting to 80% or so on his touches. Veo is really good for that. Self aware cause he knows he has to get bigger and stronger so he can get forward and motivated been going to workout at his MS during girls club training. Tons of fun to watch. Can measure the years in his progress... Except the pics got destroyed in the flood. Lil break here onward to tournaments futsal and likely putting on a school shirt for the first time.

[HaulCitgo]

Kids team finishes up this weekend and next if they get out of group. Really good season. Definite steps forward. 0-1 and 1-1 against the top of the league so not out of the question to win but unlikely. More importantly, immigration is becoming a factor. One kids dad was locked up and another has to leave the country. Sucks for families mostly but team too. Good first hand knowledge for the kid. You can live your life insulated from that sort of thing.

[HaulCitgo]

Kid made the second weekend. Played well for the most part. Got a bit overrun in the first half of the second game against the top seed but coach put him back on in the second half and he was much better. Played the entire first game until the last five minutes when the other team tied it up in the final minute. Sixth tiebreaker for the second spot in the group was PKs. Kid missed his but teammates picked him up. They also brought along a really good midfielder that was on the top team before he got hurt and played with the third division team who of course was undefeated and got promoted because of him. Kid loved him. Instant green connections he said and it showed. Parents were salty though. Seems like that always happens in the last tournament. Coaches bring along new kids for next year and competitiveness and then kids and their parents dont like sitting for someone who just came along. The kid did the same thing last weekend guesting with his old team. Didnt come off at all and those parents were bizatching about it. But they lost 0-8 and 0-12 in a group they had no business playing in so feelings not as good. Anyway another week of practice but now I have to drive him across town. Field contract must have run out with the HS. Worth it for a week. They get the top team backup keeper next weekend who won them a tournament a month ago making a double save in extra time and then 2 PKs in shootout. Also get to put their best CB back on the field cause hes the backup keeper. Tough sledding this weekend but they didnt beat a single club in this town at u13 and now in semifinals.

[HaulCitgo]

I'll move this over here to say I don't talk to my kids coach at all. I do take liberties to scream at him across the field during games. But mostly I embarrass myself and it's infrequent so I think that's the better way. There does not appear to be much tolerance for any sort of drama but asking about development is not quite invited but I'd say ok because my kids coach is great. The club is huge and mostly no one gets special treatment except those that bring it on the field and even then theres another level for everyone that the coaches mostly played at so not so much of the usmnt level tensions.

Kid made the middle school team. There were lots at tryouts and apparently they have an a and b team. From what I saw decent. Deep but no big and skilled kids. Apparently a couple kids on his club team made their varsity teams. School tryouts seemingly this week in many places.

[HaulCitgo]

At kids school for carpool and it's girls tryout week. School demographics are almost evenly divided between white, black and various latinos. The kids club team is similar. Not quite as much as the school but maybe 50/30/20. The boys school team less so from what I could tell walking off at tryouts but I saw at least 5-10 black kids and saw at least 5-10 Spanish sounding names on the posted roster. Just saw zero black and zero Hispanic girls on the field at tryouts. Wtf?

[The Sybian]

My daughter's team entered two teams into futsal tournament and one team had to play our club's A-team. The A-team plays in the Girls Academy (formerly US Soccer's Development Academy). I've watched a lot of the A-teams practices (my daughter practiced with them a few times and they practice at the same time occasionally) and felt like the top 5 or so on my daughter's team are interchangeable with the bottom half of the A-team. Our coach made a clear split in the squads (usually he evenly splits them for indoor tournaments when we have 2 teams.

Had to play the A-team for our first game of the tournament, and most of these girls never played futsal before. Tiny space on a gym floor with a smaller, heavier ball that doesn't bounce. A-team won their first game 12-0, and our girls were very intimidated watching that game. Parents stand along the side, two feet from the sideline. It's a super intense atmosphere. The A-team had two girls who were recently called in to a National Team camp and seeing them in such a small space from two feet away was mind blowing. Their footwork and speed was unbelievable. Held them scoreless for the first 7 minutes, then my daughter was able to score twice. A-team came back and went up 3-2, but my daughter's team tied it up with 10 seconds left. Most intense, exciting moment I've seen in all the years of her soccer. Father of the girl who scored ran onto the court fist pumping and jumping around. It was wild. Unfortunately, we had to win our last game by 10 goals to make the final, and we only won in 9-1.

[Nonlinear FC]

NLFC Hot Take: One of the biggest factors stunting the soccer development of young soccer players in America was the advent of indoor soccer. While it allowed more players to play in the winter months, indoor soccer is absolutely HORRIBLE for developing players. It teaches them to just hoof the ball out of the back and creates completely unnatural (to the game) scenarios, such as using your arm on the wall while shielding the ball. The main thing it does it teaches the players that there aren't a lot of negative consequences for just kicking the ball... anywhere. Unless you hit the roof/net, you can just bang the ball off a wall and hope for the best. Also, a lot of scrums and just goofiness that don't translate outside. (And don't get me started on having to coach goalies to "unlearn" shit they pick up playing indoor.)

I say all of that to say Futsal is the answer. A premium is placed on highly technical footwork, moving off the ball and nonverbal and verbal communication. We absolutely LOVED it for our teams. (I like playing it as a goalie, fwiw, and it doesn't reinforce bad or just unrelated skills, unlike indoor.)

[HaulCitgo]

Futsal better than soccer in a lot of ways. Kids been playing for probably 7-8 years now but does get hard to find teams after u14. A bunch of kids play on a basketball court in the hood in the summer. Stray dogs, dead bodies and futsal. One time a hammered homeless dude staggered past my car door with his huge bottle of beer and pants at his ankles. Saw him coming so I hit the locks as he passed me, dropped and busted the beer, got pissed and had a tantrum then doubled back to the car and came to the window muttering some gibberish. Couldn't understand him and he kept yelling it over and over. Eventually, I understood the swats talk... nice Buick.

[The Sybian]

NLFC Hot Take: One of the biggest factors stunting the soccer development of young soccer players in America was the advent of indoor soccer. While it allowed more players to play in the winter months, indoor soccer is absolutely HORRIBLE for developing players. It teaches them to just hoof the ball out of the back and creates completely unnatural (to the game) scenarios, such as using your arm on the wall while shielding the ball. The main thing it does it teaches the players that there aren't a lot of negative consequences for just kicking the ball... anywhere. Unless you hit the roof/net, you can just bang the ball off a wall and hope for the best. Also, a lot of scrums and just goofiness that don't translate outside. (And don't get me started on having to coach goalies to "unlearn" shit they pick up playing indoor.)

I say all of that to say Futsal is the answer. A premium is placed on highly technical footwork, moving off the ball and nonverbal and verbal communication. We absolutely LOVED it for our teams. (I like playing it as a goalie, fwiw, and it doesn't reinforce bad or just unrelated skills, unlike indoor.)

I loved playing indoor as a kid, but totally agree that it's detrimental. At least in my area, indoor soccer is either futsal or played on turf fields in bubble, just smaller sided games that are no different than playing outdoors on turf. Other than the goals being smaller. My daughter played an indoor tournament last month, 5 on 5. Played against a team from a private clinic that focuses on playing these tournaments. The clinic team was playing two years up (U12 girls playing U14). They were unreal. Their footskills were off the charts and they had an incredible gameplan. It was fun sitting with a group of fathers that used to coach, identifying their gameplan and discussing how to beat it. The last team they played figured it out and completely stuffed them. I wish I stayed to watch the finals as those two teams played again and from the website, the U-12s won 4-0. So curious to see how they changed their game plan.

The guy who runs the clinic posted a highlight reel from that tournament on his Facebook page. I should see if I can post it here, those girls were incredible. We played his U-13s in an outdoor tournament and destroyed them. While their footwork, passing and positioning were incredible, size and speed were able to demolish them on a full-sized field 11v11.

[Nonlinear FC]

We played a team out of Columbia MD that we dubbed the killer bees. They always played up in tournaments, but only one age group. We could out-athlete them, but their footwork and tactics were very tough to beat. They routinely crushed their own age group in their league.

[HaulCitgo]

Totally agree about evening up things for smaller players. Kid is way better in futsal than a big field. Too many kids want to kick it and run cause they can til they cant. Futsal is almost always in tight spaces and definitely puts a premium on skill.

[The Sybian]

So we are at a crossroads with my daughter starting high school next year. My wife feels like if she isn't playing on an ECNL or GA team next year it's a waste of time and money to play club soccer as it won't help her get into college. My wife also likes the idea of having her play school sports, so no driving to practices and games will all be close to home and busses provided if we can't make it. She is going to play school soccer regardless. School soccer is a huge drop in skill level, but my wife is stuck in her 90s world view that playing varsity is the ultimate level. She played soccer growing up, but they didn't even have girls travel teams in her town, so she played rec then varsity

My daughter had her 1 on 1 performance evaluation and goal setting meeting with her coach last week (complete with SMART goals for the season) and parents join for the second half. I asked about the possibility of her making the GA team next year, he said she is good enough and deserves to move up, but it's up to the GA coach. My daughter's team was set to scrimmage the younger GA team the next weekend, so her coach gave my daughter a big pep talk saying the GA coach would be there and it's her chance to impress her. Blew it up in her head as basically a tryout. My daughter came out strong and had a nice assist and grazed the top of the bar on a free kick from 25 yards out, but after 10 minutes the coach sat her for 25 minutes. It was 25 degrees out and she refused to wear pants or bring a jacket. When she finally came back on, she was tight and shivering and didn't play well. I get that he wants to give bench players minutes in a pre-season scrimmage, but he got her so psyched up to impress the GA coach, then didn't give her a chance. And when he did put her back in, he played her out of position (he played a lot of girls out of position to experiment).

Sorry, I got off point ranting about playing time in front of the GA coach. Anyways, tryouts are staring now, and when you get an offer, you usually have a week or two to decide, and her team is very early in the process. My wife is deadset that she isn't returning to the same team next year. I think I'm ok with that, as I think a lot of girls aren't coming back (they want to play other sports as well as soccer in high school) and her league getting crazy with the travel. 1 team in NJ, 1 in Albany (close to 3 hours away), 1 in Connecticut, 1 Manhattan and 4 in Long Island, which is always a complete shit show to drive to/home from games, and it probably isn't worth it, not to mention practices are 3 days a week and 30-40 minutes away, depending on the field.

My daughter is devasted at the thought of not playing club anymore, but on the other hand, maybe it's better to play school basketball and whatever Spring sport is available. Playing with friends, saving a ton of money and not requiring me to drive all over the place. I don't know if there is a question in this or a rant, but I'm panicking over the decision as I need to figure it out in the next two or three weeks.

Another wrinkle, I was talking to a coach at PDA (one of the best programs in the country) that my daughter has done clinics and camps with for 5 or 6 years, and he is the Director of Coaching for our town travel program. He just called me this afternoon, as he talked to the coach of one my daughter's age PDA team, and he set up for her to go to a few of their practices. Their tryouts are very late, so I'd like to see if she can keep up with them. I should point out PDA has two teams, White and Blue. Blue is always their dominant team and more than half go on to play at Rutgers, which is usually a top 5 NCAA program. She is going to practice with White, which plays ECNL but are a much weaker team. My hope is that the practices go well, and they give her an offer before tryouts. That's usually how it works, they have teams set before tryouts and unless you are the greatest player, they don't take kids through tryouts.

[HaulCitgo]

I'll withhold response til I've digested it all. Kid is struggling with middle school team. 0-4 and team not up to task really. Nursing a calf that I don't think is all that bad but the other one he doesn't complain about is purplish so not sure. They're playing good comp but practice makes them worse. No cohesion. Stretched is too nice. Coach is terrible but knows it so mostly shuts up which is helpful. Kid is voice which I appreciate but not good enough played 4 halves out of 8. Lots of good talent out there. His team plays mostly private schools and they play together but just got spanked by some Dunwoody middle school. They were good but kid held up for a half then sat. 11-2? The girls at his school are better. Top talent higher and much more uniform awareness but still they just hang in enough to lose or tie. Club hasn't even started yet. They have a u15 spring for gap players and seems like the full team above. Club suits his skill sets better but school a good wake up that teams trying to get forward and dominate in front of goal.

[The Sybian]

I'll withhold response til I've digested it all. Kid is struggling with middle school team. 0-4 and team not up to task really. Nursing a calf that I don't think is all that bad but the other one he doesn't complain about is purplish so not sure. They're playing good comp but practice makes them worse. No cohesion. Stretched is too nice. Coach is terrible but knows it so mostly shuts up which is helpful. Kid is voice which I appreciate but not good enough played 4 halves out of 8. Lots of good talent out there. His team plays mostly private schools and they play together but just got spanked by some Dunwoody middle school. They were good but kid held up for a half then sat. 11-2? The girls at his school are better. Top talent higher and much more uniform awareness but still they just hang in enough to lose or tie. Club hasn't even started yet. They have a u15 spring for gap players and seems like the full team above. Club suits his skill sets better but school a good wake up that teams trying to get forward and dominate in front of goal.

School is tough, as you have such a wide range of talent and experience trying to figure out how to play together, and probably a lot of coaches that aren't professional soccer coaches, but teachers coaching a team as a side gig. Kids are really spoiled today with all of the high level coaches imported from Europe, then going with a teacher coaching several sports, and soccer may not be their priority. When my daughter played middle school last year, the coach told them on the first day that he is a basketball guy. I don't think he tried to teach them anything and he was silent during games for the most part.

Does your son happen to play Lovett? I have a friend whose son is playing there.

[The Sybian]

Guh, this just escalated. Got an email from the current club with an early offer to stay on her team, 3 weeks before tryouts. 48 hours to accept and put down a non-refundable $750. PDA tryouts are in May. Wife immediately texted from the airplane that she isn't caving and we are turning down the offer. Daughter is going to be crushed, she loves her teammates and coach. And I gotta say, I love the parents. I'm really going to miss it.

[rass]

Sorry Syb, not clear that you’re looking to do anything other than vent but I got not much.

There is a value to the kid being happy and challenged even if not in the pursuit of a scholarship but I don’t know how much money and travel time that’s worth vs just playing for the HS.

[The Sybian]

Sorry Syb, not clear that you’re looking to do anything other than vent but I got not much.

There is a value to the kid being happy and challenged even if not in the pursuit of a scholarship but I don’t know how much money and travel time that’s worth vs just playing for the HS.

I'm looking for answers, but I know there aren't any. She isn't really challenged on her current team and she will coast if she isn't pushed. Practicing with PDA on Tuesday, and I'm sure she will be super nervous and shrink away from the challenge and not play well. She has legit anxiety issues.

Wife bluntly told her this morning we aren't going to accept the offer, and she didn't say anything on the drive to school, so I'm not sure what she is thinking. She would choose to stay because she is afraid of leaving her comfort zone. There is an all-star team from 3 or 4 academies and Summit travel program that play summer leagues and random tournaments. Next year they are playing full time and changed their rules to allow outsiders to tryout. I think that could be a great option, as they practice in Summit (10 minutes from me).

It dawned on me this morning why I am finding this so stressful. My first major depressive episode hit me when I was starting 9th grade, and I had to quit soccer due to an injury. Starting high school and sitting home every afternoon while all my friends were playing soccer and other sports... I feel like I would have dealt with depression later in life anyways, but that was the first triggering event, and it took me 25 years to overcome it. I didn't fully realize it, but I'm projecting my shit onto my daughter and fearing this could have a similar effect on her. For both of us, playing soccer was our identity, and I don't know how she will respond. At least she will be playing school in the fall no matter what path she goes down.

[HaulCitgo]

Lovett not on schedule but plays other similar schools. The HS is nearby so I'm sure they'll be on a future schedule even though they're about 2-3 classifications smaller. He trains with a kid in middle school there. His dad said they were bad. The buckhead private schools have just ok middle school sports from what I can tell. They get a lot better in HS. they can go grab a draft pick or national team types here and there. The first ring suburban private schools have better middle school athletics

[The Sybian]

I put off the decision on accepting the offer for my daughter to stay on her current team. Email said 48 hours to decide, but after 10 days her coach texted to schedule a call. I was all set to tell him no and ask if he thought she has a realistic chance to make the A team. He told me up front he doesn't want any answers, just wanted to talk through my thought process. He gave a hell of a sales pitch and offered to talk to the head of the program to get her a scholarship to waive the fees. He is ready to build to compete at nationals and she is a key player, yada yada. He promised last year to get her some training with the A team, and there is always excuses. Then he slipped and confirmed my wife's suspicion. He said it's his job as a coach to build the best team possible, and he doesn't want to lose his best players, he wants the B team to step out of the shadow of the A team and go to nationals.

When I told him we would travel to the club for A team, but play locally rather than play B, he promised to get her training with the A team, and their coach reached out that day to schedule. He told me she is clearly at the level to play A and she deserves the chance to go for it. Again, a little pissed I feel like he held her back for his own benefit. He refused to take no for an answer, and said he is holding her spot on the team, which is nice because it gives her time to tryout on other teams with later tryouts and she feels like she has a safety net, although my wife is 100% on not going back.

I brought her to a practice at a club much closer to home. She seemed to like it and she actually knew 4 or 5 girls from various camps and clinics, so I feel like she would be ok there. I can't wait for this shit to be done. And I don't know how this will work next year, as tryouts start around the same time the season starts, so she will need to decide next year before even playing with her new team!

[HaulCitgo]

Sounds like options. Can't go wrong? Kid club season started and lucked up. Eighth graders combined with team above for spring u15. No clue where they get the legs cause all but one hs age but trying to keep up with mls team I assume. Anyway great for kid. Saturday blew out the team that was just promoted to his league. Scoreboard bad but could have been so much worse. Good chances almost every time they had the ball and they had the ball the whole time. Sunday less were interested so went the whole way at rb. Got feet wet Saturday and didn't get beat over the top Sunday. Hit a kid at midfield and half turn 15 yard pass through to 1 on 1. Dad came screaming down line calling his number. Told him after the game he plays so simple. He said dad not everybody sees that. He wasnt lying. School the polar opposite. Not sure they even qualified for city playoffs and coach is about 60% set pieces in practice. Zero players have an issue socializing and trying to hit bangers over 3 man walls but dude your kids play like they've never met.

[HaulCitgo]

Kid played the worst game I can remember in front of coach. Would have been pulled but they only had 11 so just kept getting worse. Cant remember him losing confidence and shying away from the ball but that was definitely him today. I've tried to be positive. Think he would benefit a lot from being in great shape but he doesn't like running and his playstyle is efficient to be kind but he really doesn't like running. He'd suffer with teammates but that isn't want these coaches are interested in. We'll see. He did get up Friday and worked out before the bus so probably some willingness but yeeesh.

[Nonlinear FC]

I can't tell you the amount of times where players told me they don't like running.

Like.. WTF, man? Go play softball/baseball*.

[HaulCitgo]

Kids are city champions. The girl won in HS track also. Got worse at soccer drilling bad habits over and over but had more fun socializing at practice and hand smacks in the hallways and a Gatorade bath at a night final in midtown and the biggest goal celebration I've ever seen. About 25 kids running into the corner. Coach should have kept it classy during post game awards but there weren't a lot of celebrations all year so they'll pay for making the other team watch that for the next several. Bikes and beach and battleships and bad tennis (better pickleball) last week and the club team reconnects for a month of practice before two may tournaments (who exactly asked for that?) and tryouts. Feeling like they're gonna lose some kids this year so will be interested to see who shows with id sessions and informal tryouts around those same times.

[The Sybian]

Nice, glad the season ended on a high note.

[rass]

Yeah I had to read that twice this weekend to be pretty sure but that sounds like a positive. Congrats.

[The Sybian]

Situation escalating on the tryout front. Current coaches promise to hold her spot indefinitely came to an end a week or two ago, Club told him he can't do that. Not surprised, but I appreciated the attempt. She practiced with the Club's A team and I thought she did well despite being a bit nervous. Never heard back if she was being considered, so I emailed the A-team coach directly. She gave a long, thoughtful response essentially saying my daughter has the talent to play on her team, "but isn't quite ready yet." She offered to let her train periodically with her team next year, then the final sentence "oh, I see she won't be with the club next year." I feel like I may have burned a bridge there. I am prepared to crawl back and see if they can still fit her on the current team if need be. My wife wants me to beg now to see if it's possible, but I'm not doing that if we are still flip-flopping on whether she would return.

She got called back for a local team that was the best local option. It's currently an all-star team for 6 clubs, next year opening to outside players for the first time as a standalone team. She played her best, but ultimately there were 4-6 roster spots for about 50 new girls. Only 12 were called back and she basically got waitlisted then told she didn't get a spot, but the coach offered an a spot on his club's A-team. Very good team and close to home, so it'd be a good option, but they will lose their top 4 players to the all-star team, and potentially drop to a lower league. My daughter doesn't want to do that. I was able to get an extension on accepting the offer, so I have until Monday.

Finally, I got her invited to practice with the PDA ECNL team. Problem is, their tryouts start in May. I always wondered if she could hang with that team, and she worked her ass off tonight and kept up. My friend's daughter plays on their ECRL team (B-team) with the same coach. He told me the good thing about this situation is that the coach has no bedside manner and will flat out tell me if she isn't good enough. After the practice, he spoke with my daughter for a good 5 minutes, said he wants her to come back to 2 more practices before tryouts so he can get another look at her. Told her she "fit in nicely with the team." I have to say, I was blown away by how welcoming and friendly the girls were. PDA has a reputation of being, in my daughter's words, "total bitches." It helped she knew a couple girls from camps. One girl ran over to partner with her in a 2-person warmup and they looked like best friends. Turns out she knew the girl. First water break, a girl walked over to high five her and told her she was doing great. My daughter said that during a game situation passing drill, a player came over and told her that she keeps cutting to the inside, but in this drill, you get the ball more cutting outside. That's after the girl said she plays the same position as my daughter.

At this point, my daughter is thinking she wants to roll the dice and turn down the other offer for the chance at PDA. That puts a ton of pressure on her to make the team. I feel like if she gets invited back for A team practices, she should be able to at least get a B team spot. We decided before B team doesn't make sense, as they are worse than her current team (they just played in the PDA tournament final) and the travel is ridiculous. 3 league games in Maryland. We left her current club because of travel and distance to practices, so going to a club equally far away and much further for games is incredibly stupid, but worth it if she can play ECNL. Almost every girl on that team gets a scholarship. But if we roll the dice, we'll have no choice but to take a B team offer, as they are the last tryout.

[EnochRoot]

Let her choose.

It's only zerosum for the adults who make it that way.

[The Sybian]

Let her choose.

It's only zerosum for the adults who make it that way.

We are giving her a lot of say in the choice, but it’s not easy on us to get her to practice 3 days a week when it’s 30-45 minutes away, and nobody on the team lives near us to carpool. Or the drive 4 hours each way for a league game with tournaments in Seattle, Arizona, Florida… I’m willing to do that for the highest level league, but there are dozens of teams locally competing at the level of the lower league, so it’s stupid to travel that much to play at a level you can play locally.

My wife is traveling for work almost every week and my firm is starting to push people to go in more often, plus I can’t pick up my son from his practices when she has practice, so we can’t leave it completely up to her.

[rass]

Writing these out has to be beneficial for you, if nothing else just to collect your own thoughts.

I generally agree with Enoch (especially if I'm recalling correctly that you and your wife all but encouraged her to leave the current club if she didn't make the A team) but does waiting until May mean that if it falls through she'll have to scramble to find a spot on a team after tryout season, or that you guys are going to accept a spot on a "safety" team now and potentially burn another bridge if she actually makes the PDA team?

[The Sybian]

Writing these out has to be beneficial for you, if nothing else just to collect your own thoughts.

I generally agree with Enoch (especially if I'm recalling correctly that you and your wife all but encouraged her to leave the current club if she didn't make the A team) but does waiting until May mean that if it falls through she'll have to scramble to find a spot on a team after tryout season, or that you guys are going to accept a spot on a "safety" team now and potentially burn another bridge if she actually makes the PDA team?

Yeah, sorry for the long winded rants in here, totally for my own benefit to organize my thoughts and maybe the chance someone else went through this. Unfortunately, safety team needs an answer by Monday, so going with PDA will be all or nothing. Backup plan, I guess, is playing school basketball and maybe track in the Spring, which she will absolutely hate the idea of running track, but lacrosse is the only other option. She played one year of lacrosse in 4th grade. She is a natural and would do well, but in 4th grade she hated it because most of her teammates couldn't catch or throw, and girls lax has so many nonsensical rules, the refs constantly blew the whistle and kids and parents never understood what was happening.

My daughter would have been happy staying on her team, but she always wants to do what is easiest and most comfortable. It dawned on me this morning why I think she should move teams. The A-team coach said she wasn't ready to move up, and I realized she isn't going to force herself to dominate on her current team if she can coast and be a star player. I think she needs to get thrown into the deep end and be forced to learn how to swim. I have no doubt she'd get up to speed in no time. I don't disagree with the A-team coach's assessment, the way she plays now isn't up to speed with the A-team, but give her 3 weeks of practicing with them, and she will get up to speed. Perfect summation when she walked off the field last night and asked how she did, I told her it was the most focused and most effort I've seen out of her in years. She just said, "yeah, I need to work hard to keep up with them." It was also the happiest I've ever seen her after a practice. She likes to be challenged, but won't push herself, she needs an external push to challenge her.

It also solidified in my mind a point my wife made. She needs to figure out if she is playing soccer because she is a serious player and wants to improve, or to play as a fun social activity with friends. If she wants to be serious, we told her she could stay on her team if she did work on her own. A former coach has 100s of great Youtube videos for strength and conditioning drills combined with foot skills. We bought her a goal and a rebounder she never uses and she refuses to run in the offseason. So my wife told her we aren't paying and driving her to her current team unless she shows some effort or dedication, and if she wants to play for social reasons, we can find a less demanding club closer to home. If she stayed on her current team, she won't grow as she is more into the social aspect than working to improve. She makes friends very quickly, especially with teammates who are into sports, so I have no doubt she'll make friends on a new team.

[wlu_lax6]

but lacrosse is the only other option. She played one year of lacrosse in 4th grade. She is a natural and would do well, but in 4th grade she hated it because most of her teammates couldn't catch or throw, and girls lax has so many nonsensical rules, the refs constantly blew the whistle and kids and parents never understood what was happening.

Ahmen! Gals lacrosse is vertical field hockey and I don't get it. When played well it is athletic and cool, but bad gals lacrosse is a terrible sport......and I don't understand the rules.

[A_B]

I dunno, I think there may be a market for "bad girls lacrosse"