Godless III - Completing The Trinity

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Fri May 20, 2016 5:24 pm

They can punish the father for this, but they can't reverse the damage this will have on the psyches of those kids.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Fri May 20, 2016 8:15 pm

sancarlos wrote:They can punish the father for this, but they can't reverse the damage this will have on the psyches of those kids.

Fortunately they can sacrifice the cat to the Gods as an offering to reverse the damage.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Mon May 23, 2016 9:40 am

This is infuriating. Texas Board of Ed race...one candidate wants creationism taught in schools because evolution is teaching the religion of atheism. So instead of eviscerating this woman, the reporter decides to ask the other candidate if he is Christian enough for the job! Then, instead of eviscerating the reporter for such a terrible question, the guy goes on to explain why yes...he's definitely Christian enough for the job.

Steve of phpBB · Post by **Steve of phpBB** » Mon May 23, 2016 10:38 am

Jerloma wrote:This is infuriating. Texas Board of Ed race...one candidate wants creationism taught in schools because evolution is teaching the religion of atheism. So instead of eviscerating this woman, the reporter decides to ask the other candidate if he is Christian enough for the job! Then, instead of eviscerating the reporter for such a terrible question, the guy goes on to explain why yes...he's definitely Christian enough for the job.

Democracy is so awesome.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Tue May 24, 2016 2:12 pm

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Thu May 26, 2016 9:14 pm

Good old Louie Gohmert, arguing against choosing a gay person as part of a group chosen to colonize Mars. Once again proving his complete inability to comprehend the views of someone who doesn't believe in his God. "Even if you don't believe in God, why would you choose to anger God by accepting homosexuality?" [complete paraphrase]. Then a nice insinuation that Human Secularists are the antithesis of the Founding Fathers.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Wed Jun 15, 2016 2:52 pm

Some important Christian guy has interviewed thousands of non-Christians over the last few years and compiled the ultimate list of what non-Christians think of Christians...

2. I would like to develop a friendship with a Christian.

“I’m really interested in what they believe and how they carry out their beliefs. I wish I could find a Christian who would be willing to spend some time with me.”

Who the fuck that wants Christian friends can't make a Christian friend. What kind of sheltered life have you led to live in this country and have such little access to Christians?

3. I would like to learn about the Bible from a Christian.

“The Bible really fascinates me, but I don’t want to go to a stuffy and legalistic church to learn about it. I would be nice if a Christian invited me to study the Bible in his home or at a place like Starbucks.”

Hey L-Jam, if I'm ever in the Philly area, lets meet up for a caramel machiatto so you can teach me the bible. WTF?

5. I wish I could learn to be a better husband/wife/dad/mom, etc., from a Christian.

“My wife is threatening to divorce me, and I think she means it this time. My neighbor is a Christian, and he seems to have it together. I am swallowing my pride and asking him to help me.”

Also, if you could give me some spousing advice, that'd be awesome too.

7. I wish a Christian would take me to his or her church.

“I really would like to visit a church, but I’m not particularly comfortable going by myself. What is weird is that I am 32 years old, and I’ve never had a Christian invite me to church in my entire life.”

Right, because in my experience, every time I'm in a church, the Christians can just sniff out my apostasy and they spend the rest of the time making me feel uncomfortable.

WHO ARE THESE FUCKING PEOPLE???

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed Jun 15, 2016 3:01 pm

Pictured: The author interviewing one of his many subjects

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Wed Jun 15, 2016 3:17 pm

mister d wrote:

Pictured: The author interviewing one of his many subjects

Reverse angle:

howard · Post by **howard** » Mon Jun 20, 2016 10:04 am

howard · Post by **howard** » Tue Jul 26, 2016 2:51 pm

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Sat Jul 30, 2016 1:53 pm

I'm fully aware of my musical limitations but I think this works great conceptually and the lyrics are funny. If someone with even a shred of talent recorded it, I think it could be a really cool, fun tune. Any decent musician could lay that down in about 10 minutes.

So yeah...if you know anyone.

howard · Post by **howard** » Thu Aug 04, 2016 6:24 pm

Pope Francis Beats Confession Out Of Uncooperative Catholic

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Fri Aug 19, 2016 10:10 pm

Ugh. This asshole who I serve with. Total born again and completely unaware that proselytizing in uniform is illegal. Thanking God or even an invocation during a ceremony is fine, but she takes it to a level that makes no sense. She's the worst.

(She's the girl I referenced in the tattoo thread who got her husband's name tattooed and he got hers. I blacked out the hashtag to prevent searching.)

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Sat Aug 20, 2016 4:43 pm

Johnnie wrote:Ugh. This asshole who I serve with. Total born again and completely unaware that proselytizing in uniform is illegal. Thanking God or even an invocation during a ceremony is fine, but she takes it to a level that makes no sense. She's the worst.

(She's the girl I referenced in the tattoo thread who got her husband's name tattooed and he got hers. I blacked out the hashtag to prevent searching.)

It's a particularly American strain of Christianity that stresses the personal relationship with the all powerful God.

And it is a very arrogant approach to piety - most likely unique in the world. He delayed your plane? Wow, he must really love you.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Sun Aug 21, 2016 9:05 pm

It's not entirely self-serving. He took a break from giving babies in Haiti the Zika virus to test their faith for a few minutes while he rectified the airplane situation.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Tue Aug 23, 2016 8:31 am

My sister in-law was bragging during our family reunion that she prayed for a parking spot at a grocery store and one appeared. I went to that grocery store several times that week and the lot was never full.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Tue Aug 23, 2016 8:41 am

You should have prayed for a hot dog while standing in front of the grill.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Aug 26, 2016 7:12 am

We have neither a "hot takes" thread or an "advanced stats" thread, so...

h/t

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Fri Aug 26, 2016 8:09 am

mister d wrote:You should have prayed for a hot dog while standing in front of the grill.

I should've prayed for them not to be there in the first place. Another not very fun Gifford family reunion.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Mon Oct 03, 2016 4:22 pm

So, in synagogue last night and the Assistant Rabbi - think of every nebbish Jewish man you've ever seen, and that's him - gave a sermon that attempted to tie together Reform Judaism's concern for social justice for Aboriginal Canadians, an incident where his elderly father was pummelled by a hoodlum while trying to break up a fight, and the Greek Gods' feelings towards the Trojan-Greek war.

Problem was, he didn't tie these themes together. Guy in front of me leaned to his wife and said "What the hell is he talking about?"

If it hadn't taken over 20 minutes, it would have been unintentional comedy gold.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Tue Oct 18, 2016 12:49 pm

Fair warning, you'll probably never be able to have sex again without this woman popping in your head at least once...

rass · Post by **rass** » Tue Oct 18, 2016 1:12 pm

That... wasn't that bad?

I mean hearing anyone describe sex so clinically, especially a motherly older lady, is a little odd. But she was pretty reasonable, and while she stressed marriage never once threatened damnation.

Post by **Shirley** » Tue Oct 18, 2016 1:44 pm

Jerloma wrote:Fair warning, you'll probably never be able to have sex again without this woman popping in your head at least once...

It ended too soon.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Tue Oct 18, 2016 2:17 pm

Before my wife and I had our Catholic wedding in 1994, we attended a required seminar designed to convince us to (only) use the rhythm method of contraception (which was explained in detail). Lots of eye-rolling in the audience, except for one enthusiastic young couple. My wife and I think they might have been plants.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Tue Oct 18, 2016 2:24 pm

sancarlos wrote:Before my wife and I had our Catholic wedding in 1994, we attended a required seminar designed to convince us to (only) use the rhythm method of contraception (which was explained in detail). Lots of eye-rolling in the audience, except for one enthusiastic young couple. My wife and I think they might have been plants.

My friend told me the couple that taught the rhythm method were really convincing until someone asked them how many children they had, (5 in 8 years). He asked how many were planned, and the response was "oh, you can't plan for children, God blesses you with children when the time is right." And his wife stayed on the pill.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Tue Oct 18, 2016 3:16 pm

On another note, I was talking to the pastor of the local Baptist mega-church a few weeks ago, and he was talking about what a lost, nihilistic asshole he was when he was an atheist. He says to me, "I was hardcore too. I made guys like Hitchens and Dawkins look like pussies. Here's how awful of a person I was when I was an atheist - I once got a blowjob from two prostitutes while reading Nitzche the whole time."

I said "Really? That actually sounds kind of awesome. I think I'm doing this atheism thing all wrong."

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Fri Oct 21, 2016 6:11 am

Local volunteer repairs broken statue at a church in Sudbury Ontario...

Go With The Professionals Next Time

That'd be the Baby Jesus on the right.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 8:32 am

Leah Remini with an absolutely outstanding AMA on the Church of Scientology. It is back on the front page again today:

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 7:12 am

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Wed Jan 04, 2017 4:04 pm

Not really sure how I'd feel about this. I mean, on the one hand, keep your creepy death cult away from my spawn but on the other hand, if I actually got upset about it, I feel like I'd be lending credence to the idea that these wack jobs are actually performing a magic trick.

DEAR ABBY: My niece has a 1-year-old son. Neither my niece nor the baby's father is religious, and they have chosen not to have the baby baptized. My sister, the baby's grandmother, while not wanting to impose her beliefs on the parents, comes from a generation when even couples who were not demonstrably religious usually had their baby baptized.

I know it would comfort my sister to know this ancient ceremony had been performed. Since my sister watches the little boy at her house, would it be wrong for us to organize an informal baptism -- just holy water and a couple of prayers? We don't feel we need to have an officiant of any religion present and, of course, we would not tell the baby's parents. Would this be appropriate? -- MORTIFIED IN MONTANA

DEAR MORTIFIED: No, it would not. If you were sure that it would be, you wouldn't have written to me about it. My advice is not to do ANYTHING like this behind the parents' backs, because if you do, there will be hell to pay. Consider this: Not all denominations baptize their members as infants.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Wed Jan 04, 2017 4:14 pm

Jerloma wrote:if I actually got upset about it, I feel like I'd be lending credence to the idea that these wack jobs are actually performing a magic trick.

Or you can say "no" because of the implication that you don't know how to raise your own damn kids.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Wed Jan 04, 2017 4:26 pm

P.D.X. wrote:
Jerloma wrote:if I actually got upset about it, I feel like I'd be lending credence to the idea that these wack jobs are actually performing a magic trick.
Or you can say "no" because of the implication that you don't know how to raise your own damn kids.

Well the whole premise was that they want to do it behind the parents backs despite knowing damn well that they're opposed to it.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Wed Jan 04, 2017 4:29 pm

Also what "ancient" denomination just lets random people baptize whoever?

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Wed Jan 04, 2017 4:38 pm

Jerloma wrote:
P.D.X. wrote:
Jerloma wrote:if I actually got upset about it, I feel like I'd be lending credence to the idea that these wack jobs are actually performing a magic trick.
Or you can say "no" because of the implication that you don't know how to raise your own damn kids.
Well the whole premise was that they want to do it behind the parents backs despite knowing damn well that they're opposed to it.

I wouldn't care if my parents wanted to pour some holy water onto my baby, but if they did something like that behind my back, that is fucking horrible. If the grandmother stated her case and explained why it was so important for her, the parents should consider that, but who knows what all the additional facts are. They very well could have a strong reason to oppose. If they say no, end of story. That is some potentially relationship ending shit right there. Like JLo said, the magic trick means nothing to me, so if it made my mother or MiL feel better, go for it.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed Jan 04, 2017 7:21 pm

I think it would be fun if someone secretly baptized one or both of our kids just because of the free antagonism pass it would grant me.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Wed Jan 04, 2017 7:44 pm

What do you mean by that, D?

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Wed Jan 04, 2017 9:29 pm

Mark Zuckerberg's 2017 plan to visit all US states hints at political ambitions

Contained within:

On Christmas Day, the Facebook CEO revealed that he is no longer an atheist, one of the biggest liabilities a presidential candidate can have, according to research by Pew Research Center. In a cheery update he said: “Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah from Priscilla, Max, Beast and me,” referring to his wife, daughter and dog.

Below the post a commenter asked “aren’t you an atheist?” – Zuckerberg used to declare his lack of faith on his Facebook profile – to which he replied: “No. I was raised Jewish and then I went through a period where I questioned things, but now I believe religion is very important.”

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Thu Jan 05, 2017 9:11 am

Jerloma wrote:What do you mean by that, D?

Probably how I feel these days when hearing my sister make another awful comment about me. It's free ammunition to treat her with disdain and cements my decision to never have anything to do with her again. I ain't even mad.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Thu Jan 05, 2017 10:17 am

Giff wrote:
Jerloma wrote:What do you mean by that, D?
Probably how I feel these days when hearing my sister make another awful comment about me. It's free ammunition to treat her with disdain and cements my decision to never have anything to do with her again. I ain't even mad.

Oh, I see. It's like when my brother-in-law pissed on my car to mark his territory. I was ecstatic over it because I knew that I'd never have to appease those assholes ever again and I wouldn't even get any pressure or guilt from the wife for it.

Regarding Zuckerberg...he's probably an atheist. That's a total politician answer. Atheism has nothing whatsoever to do with the question of whether or not you think religion is important. I think it's important and I'm as godless as I can be.