Swamp RimWorld Challenge 2017 - The Final Countdown

[sancarlos]

Syb has had another (hopefully minor) mental breakdown and is wandering around sadly. The final break this time was someone disturbing him in his sleep.

And, no good IPA in the fridge.

[L-Jam3]

Three GSWs and I'm fine overall. Coincidentally I went as Rasputin for Halloween this year.

[Johnnie]

John, our refugee, has joined the colony, though his lack of basic labor skills and a drug habit arouse suspicion.

Well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

Just to clarify: This isn't you, just a randomly-generated character that happened to be named John. I can only fully customize the initial set of people in that arrive of the planet. You (along with all other Swampers) are still a candidate to appear in a later game, though.

I know. I'm just laughing along with the coincidence.

[bapo!]

We found a deposit of raw uranium in a nearby rock formation and have traded it with another faction in exchange for supplies for more immediate needs.

Okay, wait, hold up. Syb can't even keep his pants on, but you want us to believe that this group of misfits can a) find uranium, b) identify it, c) mine it, and d) trade it in the open market? Props to LJam for carrying on after getting shot, but sorry, my suspension of disbelief only goes so far.

[Johnny Carwash]

So we have a pretty decent settlement going by now, expanding to include some more advanced facilities such as a geothermal power plant, tailoring and stonecutting workshops. Next step is to build a more secure perimeter with a proper wall and some more defenses.


A quick check on the social relations of our colonists reveals that they mostly get along, with the following exceptions:
-Pruitt dislikes Mister d as a result of being repeatedly insulted and slighted.
-Syb hates L-Jam due to his repeated insults.
-Neither Syb nor Mister d are too keen on Sugar, L-Jam's sister/Pruitt's girlfriend.

An angry group of tribal natives calling themselves the Black Cliff People appear on the horizon. They appear to be armed with rudimentary weapons, so this should not be too difficult.


Fight didn't go great. Two of the three natives were dispatched, but in the process four of our colonists were injured, including:
-Syb: took an arrow to the kidney
-Mister d: arrow to the torso
-Sugar: stab wound from a native's spear, plus multiple gunshot wounds from Mister d's friendly fire
-John: multiple arrow wounds while attempting to run a diversion, in critical condition.

Pruitt, who, remember, is not a real doctor, is going to have his hands full. L-Jam, apparently unfazed by the carnage, lays on the ground near the corpses and begins cloudwatching.

[Johnny Carwash]

Malone, the attacker we saved earlier in hopes of recruiting, has after a few weeks in our prison gone berserk from drug withdrawal. She breaks down the prison door and runs to attack a nearby ostrich. The ostrich manages to win, leaving Malone bleeding and writhing on the ground.

Despite the substantial sunk cost, for the good of the colony I make the decision to put her out of her misery. Mister d runs over to do the honors and immediately goes back to work with a notable boost in mood.

[Johnny Carwash]

Uh oh! Looks like Mister d can dish it out, but not take it. A slight from Sugar sends him into a frenzy and they fight! They stop after a few minutes but not before both suffer bruises and minor fractures. This, curiously, does not affect L-Jam or Pruitt's opinion of Mister d.


Something must be going around. Now Syb and L-Jam are fighting! Syb is knocked unconscious with multiple fractures. Pruitt carries him to safety while L-Jam casually walks away.


With some downtime, I've set up a basic dormitory so everyone can now have a private room. everyone gets settled in. Pruitt bones L-Jam's sister while L-Jam sleeps across the hall.

[rass]

Is that a hat or a headwound that Syb is sporting?

[Ryan]

An angry group of tribal natives calling themselves the Black Cliff People appear on the horizon. They appear to be...

...drugging women and raping them with the Jell-O and the thing and the...

[Pruitt]

Another refugee appears being chased by pirates. This time it's an explosives expert named "Sugar" who is also coincidentally L-Jam's sister and Pruitt's girlfriend. We agree to help. Sugar, despite being morbidly obese and having a mohawk, is described as "pretty."

In RimWorld we call that "Zaftig."

[Johnny Carwash]

Is that a hat or a headwound that Syb is sporting?

It's a hat, dropped from one of the pirates we fought earlier. Characters will auto-equip stuff based on their preferences.

[Johnnie]

-Pruitt dislikes Mister d as a result of being repeatedly insulted and slighted.

Shocking.

Ya know, these people get injured a lot. Like a lot. And seem to get treated back to health by a non doctor.

And Howard, the doctor, died from a minor rat bite?

[Sabo]

-Pruitt dislikes Mister d as a result of being repeatedly insulted and slighted.

Shocking.

Ya know, these people get injured a lot. Like a lot. And seem to get treated back to health by a non doctor.

And Howard, the doctor, died from a minor rat bite?

It's hard to call a fatal rat bite as "minor".

[howard]

Wait, what? I'm a character in some online RPG? Fuck, leave you scamps unsupervised for a few weeks and all kinds of shit can happen.

howard was not conceived naturally, but genetically engineered in a lab. A bookish child, he later went to work as a researcher for a large corporation. He has high research and medical skills, along with some knowledge of crafting and art. On the downside, he is a psychopath who refuses to engage in any kind of social activity with either humans or animals.

Now, wait. Psychopaths usually engage socially with humans, to promote their selfish aims. Re our extensive discussion on psychopathy, sociopathy, guns and whatnot. But the antisocial part, yeah I ain't got shit to say about that. Or the rest. Could've had me bit by a radioactive spider in the research lab, but asking a lot I suppose. Oh, I ain't that dark, not in the winter at least.

And Howard, the doctor, died from a minor rat bite?

It's hard to call a fatal rat bite as "minor".

'
Da Fuck? I don't do the dying, I do the killing.

Shit, that was shorter than my run as Sancho Panza in our 8th grade spanish class production of Man of La Mancha.

Funny thing, last week I developed a skin infection in my thumb that quickly got so bad, pain and throbbing, it kept me awake all night. I have a wide array of medical shit in my apartment, but nothing basic that I needed desperately, like a scalpel or some antibiotics which fixed the problem in an hour once I got to work in the morning. So, game imitates life.

This is cute, I like it. A lot more straightforward and coherent than fucking Westworld.

[Ryan]

Wait, what? I'm a character in some online RPG? Fuck, leave you scamps unsupervised for a few weeks and all kinds of shit can happen.

You're talking about the game, right?

[Pruitt]

Ya know, these people get injured a lot. Like a lot. And seem to get treated back to health by a non doctor.

And Howard, the doctor, died from a minor rat bite?

Big Pharma has no place in Rim World.

[tennbengal]

No Obamacare, that's what happens, people die from rat bites.

[Ryan]

[Johnny Carwash]

Now Mister d and L-Jam are fighting! After a series of exchanges, Mister d is down for the count with fractures to his clavicle and femur. He is treated and back on his feet in a short time, but the lingering pain causes him to have a mental breakdown, sending him on a crazed eating binge.


Pruitt and Sugar, L-Jam's sister, are now engaged.

A wanderer joins our colony. Her name is Samantha and she appears naked except for a flak vest. She is a minister and a drug addict.

[Johnny Carwash]

Another fleeing person. Her name is Alessia. After offering help, we learn that she was raised in a cult, has severe psychological issues, is a drug addict, and has no skills other than being "artistic." So basically a Californian that somehow ended up in space. Welcome Alessia!

Alessia's pursuers are the Black Cliff People, nine of them this time. The battle is tense, but our superior firepower prevails and our attackers leave with only four survivors.

[L-Jam3]

"I've taken your cracks about Philly for the last fucking time, Delaware!"

[bapo!]

Can we please stop fighting, guys?! (This is my greatest fear if I'm ever thrown into one of these games. If, like, VirtualRass turns on me, it's going to break my heart.)

This thread has been my top source of entertainment the past couple of days. There should be much more conversation going on here.

Also, does anybody else have a newfound respect for Pruitt and his healing powers?

[tennbengal]

This thread is the only thing getting me through to Friday.

[duff]

Also, does anybody else have a newfound respect for Pruitt and his healing powers?

And I always thought SuperJew lived in NC, not Toronto.

[Johnny Carwash]

Usually there is some down time between attacks, but the Black Cliff People attack again immediately! Nine more approaching, now from the west. We move out to meet them head on, setting up a firing line behind a row of rocks.


L-Jam attempts to make a flanking maneuver but is intercepted by several attackers. He attempts to extricate himself but is downed with multiple severe injuries. His sister Sugar rushes to the rescue but is seriously wounded herself. Meanwhile, our new joiner Samantha flakes out and decides to put down her gun and start eating a meal as the battle rages around her. John charges into the fray and is shot dead instantly. A caveman named Ler rushes Mister d and begins beating him with a club, but is luckily dispatched with a shot from Syb.


With the majority of their attackers dead, the Black Cliff People begin to flee, but we're in bad shape. L-Jam and Sugar are severely wounded, Syb is still standing but had his left index finger cut off and is in severe pain. We'll need to rush all the help we can get as soon as possible.

[Johnny Carwash]

Oh shit, this might be it. Just as our battle with the tribespeople concludes, the Pike Crows appear from the opposite side of the map and enter our undefended base. These guys are definitely not fucking around this time--heavy arms including machine guns and grenades.


Syb and Mister d are our only people left standing with any reliable fighting capabilities, and Syb is hobbled in extreme pain. They'll have to do.

The pirates enter our base unaware of our presence and set about wrecking shit. One is killed by a burst from our turret, but the odds are still against us. Syb and Mister d approach from behind, hoping to get the drop on them...


And...that didn't last too long. Syb is dropped in an instant by a shotgun blast to the chest. Mister d lasts a little longer before falling in a hail of bullets. Both are still alive, barely. The pirates, not seeing our other colonists hiding in the medical quarters, assume that no one else is around and leave, but carry Syb and Mister d away as prisoners.


Pruitt is doing the best that he can, but our three remaining wounded--L-Jam, Sugar, and Alessia--have all developed infections.

[Johnny Carwash]

L-Jam has died from his leg infection, followed closely by his sister Sugar. Pruitt is devastated. Alessia develops an immunity to her infection and proceeds to go smoke a joint.


We now receive word that Mister d has died from an infection while in pirate captivity.

With our colony down to just Pruitt and a couple of drug-addled deadbeats, I'll judge our fate to be sealed and abandon this session rather than watch things play out in their full misery.

[Johnny Carwash]

So, for the post-mortem. Swampville I lasted 62 days. Here's a recap of the fates of our Swampers:

howard - attacked by a rat; died of infection
mister d - wounded and kidnapped by pirates; died in captivity
Syb - wounded and kidnapped by pirates; fate unknown
L-Jam - wounded in battle with natives; died of infection
Pruitt - stranded in a doomed colony with two druggies

Thanks for following along, everyone. I'll get the next settlement with new Swampers set up and post again in the morning. We can also do the "Who dies first?" poll like rass recommended.

[Pruitt]

Sugar!

[cerrano]

An angry group of tribal natives calling themselves the Black Cliff People appear on the horizon. They appear to be...

...drugging women and raping them with the Jell-O and the thing and the...

mrs. cerrano thought i was losing my mind reading this post.

[rass]

Whose bones are laying about in the second to last screenshot. Did our Swampers just leave the enemy dead out to rot?

That was fun!

[Nonlinear FC]

This is highly entertaining, though I can't quite pin down why.

[Ryan]

The Pirates won an elimination game!

[Johnny Carwash]

Whose bones are laying about in the second to last screenshot. Did our Swampers just leave the enemy dead out to rot?

That was fun!

Yep, those are random dudes we killed. You can learn how to build a crematorium to dispose of them more efficiently, though I didn't get that far this time.

[Sabo]

This is highly entertaining, though I can't quite pin down why.

I'll dare say this is one of the most entertaining things I've ever seen on the Swamp.

This is light-years better than the condiment wars. Or the sealfisting.

[bapo!]

Pruitt is the hero we need.

[Pruitt]

Pruitt is the hero we need.

But with Sugar gone, I think I'm going to wander off into the wilderness for a while.

[Johnnie]

This is highly entertaining, though I can't quite pin down why.

I'll dare say this is one of the most entertaining things I've ever seen on the Swamp.

This is light-years better than the condiment wars. Or the sealfisting.

Or NationStates that we played that one time.

Pruitt is the hero we need.

Just wait until a horse shows up.

[Johnny Carwash]

Swampville II
OK, time to try this again. Here are the lessons learned I've identified from the first game:
1. Keep your doctor away from rodents.
2. Build a smaller, more easily defensible base instead of a big sprawling one.
3. Make the enemy come to you, don't be over-eager to run out to engage them.
4. We can't take in every schmuck that asks for refuge. Consider the values and risks they bring to the table.
5. Not bringing mister d is a generally sound idea.

Here is the next set of brave settlers to embark:


rass grew up in a war-torn environment before becoming a professional mathematician. He has good research and medical skills but basically jack shit else. He has a high tolerance to heat but, ironically, refuses to participate in firefighting activities.


BSF was created as a test subject in an unsanctioned experiment to genetically engineer super soldiers. This failed, but he later became a moderately successful inventor. He is good with a gun and at crafting, but not much else. He is incapable of social interaction or of giving a fuck about anything in general. He has a fetish for prosthetic limbs and has thought of getting one whether he needs it or not.


wlu_lax grew up in a cave complex deep beneath the surface of his homeworld, harvesting fungi for food. He later became a civil servant. He is good at working with both plants and animals. Despite his astoundingly shitty life, he is an optimist.


Sabo, like BSF, was created as a test subject in an unsanctioned experiment. He later became a famous chef. He is good at shooting, working with animals, and cooking, presumably combining all three. He has an annoying voice.


tennbengal grew up in a family of shopkeepers, and became a house-husband as an adult. He is a teetotaler. He wound up with basically the most useless skill set of any character I generated. What the fuck, bengal?

[Johnny Carwash]

By request, there's now a poll at the top to vote on who you think will die first.

I'll start posting updates later today.