The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for anyone who can’t retire early and get a new MacBook thread

[Jerloma]

grazie.

[sancarlos]

Retired Pope Benedict XVI has published a letter which blames clerical sex abuse on the "all-out sexual freedom" of the 1960s

He also said paedophilia did not become "acute" until the late 1980s and was caused by "absence of God"

[rass]

[Jerloma]

No, no, no...

[brian]

Giff tried to warn you.

[sancarlos]

Reporter calmly grills televangelist Kenneth Copeland over his ownership of three private jets, luxury life, etc. In response, Copeland comes unhinged.

[Giff]

Reporter calmly grills televangelist Kenneth Copeland over his ownership of three private jets, luxury life, etc. In response, Copeland comes unhinged.

IOW, Jerloma porn.

[rass]

Mother Theresa might very well have been who you thought she was.

[brian]

Looks like someone might be spoofing your Facebook account, kid. And poorly at that. The first attempt at "your" profile picture was someone old enough to be your dad.

[Pruitt]

I got a friend request and then a message saying "How are you today?"

Oddly formal...

[Jerloma]

Yeah, thanks. I did the things. Weird that they wouldn't just use my profile picture though.

[Jerloma]

Mother Theresa might very well have been who you thought she was.

A contemptuous, vile, scut?

[sancarlos]

CBS News reports that Coronavirus cannot be cured by drinking bleach or snorting cocaine, despite social media rumors.

link

[Jerloma]

Dammit!

[The Sybian]

Dammit!

That's no reason to stop snorting coke.

[Jerloma]

Dammit!

That's no reason to stop snorting coke.

Hell of a drug. Not a lot of success stories though.

[sancarlos]

Pence says he and Trump promised religious leaders they would advise Americans to "go ahead and make that donation" to their religious entities even while they're not in the pews right now

[sancarlos]

A guy said he plans to travel around Florida wearing Grim Reaper attire to the beaches and other areas of the state opening up prematurely.

[rass]

Annotation 2020-07-29 124924.jpg (28.37 KiB) Viewed 404 times

[Jerloma]

Ha!

[sancarlos]

So, J-Lo, there are two little (British) kids in the back seat discussing religion. The captions show what they are saying. Hilarious, but exasperating for the Mum.

[Jerloma]

Thank you!!!

Btw, I got a new Macbook Air because I'm retiring soon and have to turn in my Thinkpad, so this was very appreciated but won't be necessary going forward!

[Reaper]

So, J-Lo, there are two little (British) kids in the back seat discussing religion. The captions show what they are saying. Hilarious, but exasperating for the Mum.

Saw this today on my FB feed, and it tracks (not my daughter):

Daughter: So I was told today to write down what I knew about Christianity since we're starting that in Social Studies. (Dad's note: not to hand in - she wrote it down to prep for discussion in the class.)
Dad: So what did you write down?
Daughter: Well since the Virgin Mary gave birth to Jesus, science would say that Jesus is transgender.
Dad: What?
Daughter: If the Y Chromosome comes from the father and Jesus didn't have a human father, he would have two X Chromosomes. So he must be transgender.

[Jerloma]

Scientifically speaking, Jesus would have had to have been born via parthenogenesis which would make him more likely yo be a transgender lizard.