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How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Sun Jun 18, 2017 3:16 pm
by rass
Was going to phrase the poll question in a dad-centric manner but I noticed that Moreta made a welcome stop by the Swamp today. Kids born the same year as the Swamp are in HS by now, so let's see where we're at.

PS - I enabled re-voting so feel free to bump this if you ever successfully get some as g-d above intended.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Sun Jun 18, 2017 3:49 pm
by Johnnie
Zero kids and I like it that way. A dude my age with no kids and no ex wives is unheard of in the military. Didn't want to fall into the typical military trap of "accidentally get girl pregnant, get married because of said child, have horrible marriage that ends in divorce." Bye, bye chunk of my paycheck. Gaining a dependapotamus was not in the plan.

I grew up with a step dad who had been through a bitter divorce and then marries my mom who had some moments.

Do i want kids? Maybe, maybe not. I see my friends with them and all I can think of is how tired I am, how much money they are to raise, and how loud and attention needing they are.

I'm just not into it. And especially after one girl I got with was pregnant and couldn't determine how far along she was until I forced her to go to the clinic and another who literally tried to trap me with the "I think I might be pregnant" bullshit when we broke up, I'm pretty jaded about being a father.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Sun Jun 18, 2017 4:43 pm
by brian
No kids, never wanted any. Mazel tov to the lot of y'all. You're doing a job I had no interest in doing. Kind of like those of us who didn't join the military. It's OK to admit you didn't want to do it and still respect those who did.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Sun Jun 18, 2017 5:18 pm
by Sabo
brian wrote:No kids, never wanted any. Mazel tov to the lot of y'all. You're doing a job I had no interest in doing. Kind of like those of us who didn't join the military. It's OK to admit you didn't want to do it and still respect those who did.
Seconded.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Sun Jun 18, 2017 5:34 pm
by sancarlos
I have one kid and it's exactly the number that's right for me. I very much wanted to be a father, but it's physically, financially, and emotionally exhausting. My hat is off to those of you who parent multiple kids,

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Sun Jun 18, 2017 6:48 pm
by bfj
I love being a father. I think my life would be dull as hell if I didn't have kids.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Sun Jun 18, 2017 7:13 pm
by TT2.0
i dont honestly know. i used to donate to sperm banks a lot in college. blood plasma and semen gave me poker money so...somewhere between 0 & 600 kids?

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Sun Jun 18, 2017 7:42 pm
by bfj
TT2.0 wrote:i dont honestly know. i used to donate to sperm banks a lot in college. blood plasma and semen gave me poker money so...somewhere between 0 & 600 kids?
Jerking off in the Bank Of America lobby doesn't make it a sperm bank.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Sun Jun 18, 2017 7:52 pm
by Pruitt
bfj wrote:I love being a father. I think my life would be dull as hell if I didn't have kids.
True here as well. Today was my daughter's last house league soccer game ever. After 12 years of soccer, 10 years in the same league, her team finally won the championship! Seeing her beaming while holding the trophy made my day.

(And she also bought me a "beer boot" as a gift! A great day all around.)/

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Sun Jun 18, 2017 8:20 pm
by TT2.0
bfj wrote:
TT2.0 wrote:i dont honestly know. i used to donate to sperm banks a lot in college. blood plasma and semen gave me poker money so...somewhere between 0 & 600 kids?
Jerking off in the Bank Of America lobby doesn't make it a sperm bank.
technically.....

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Sun Jun 18, 2017 8:34 pm
by Moreta
I love my kids and can't really imagine life without them, which makes sense since I've been a parent for nearly 21 years now. That said, I'm looking forward to shoving a few more out of the nest before too long.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Sun Jun 18, 2017 10:02 pm
by Pruitt
Moreta wrote:I love my kids and can't really image life without them, which makes sense since I've been a parent for nearly 21 years now. That said, I'm looking forward to shoving a few more out of the nest before too long.
Amen.

20 year old goes to university downtown. 18 year old is starting university downtown in September.

The nest will not be empty for quite sometime.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Sun Jun 18, 2017 10:44 pm
by DC47
I am the presumed father of two children who are almost infinitely different.

One is thousands of miles away on a sailboat in the Pacific doing sophisticated research while learning seamanship and scuba. One spent the entire day within a few yards of me, attending a minor league soccer game, part of a summer college league baseball game, dining at a brew pub (the remarkable Bells in Kalamazoo), getting treats, going for walks and driving around. Several ponies and bunnies were sighted.

My children are my heart's delight. I dream about them when asleep, and talk to them when awake (and alone). I'd gladly father a few more if I were younger. I pray that I'll get to spend time with a grandchild before mine is up.

But I can imagine being happy without children, especially one who will always need to live with us. And if a few aspects of my personality were altered, or I had a less perfect wife, I can imagine strongly preferring to not have kids.

Life has many pathways.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 5:58 am
by Mulligan
Voted no. I like others on this board had very little interest in having kids (time, selfish, money...) but the wife's biological clock really took off. I kept asking the Doc what I was doing wrong but he couldn't explain it either. So when they told us our only hope was IVF my wife and I decided that was enough. Just over 3 years into the process of adoption (I don't think trump vets his cabinet the way the agency combed thru us) we got a baby boy. I guess I never realized how much I wanted to be a father. What a indescribable feeling it is. Total blast and sometimes utterly exhausting. Having a 3 year old at 46 takes a ton of energy, we also find ourselves saying he will stop crying at some point and laughing when he is throwing a fit.

Happy Father's day to those of you who did fuck!

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 11:26 am
by sancarlos
Mulligan wrote:Voted no. I like others on this board had very little interest in having kids (time, selfish, money...) but the wife's biological clock really took off. I kept asking the Doc what I was doing wrong but he couldn't explain it either. So when they told us our only hope was IVF my wife and I decided that was enough. Just over 3 years into the process of adoption (I don't think trump vets his cabinet the way the agency combed thru us) we got a baby boy. I guess I never realized how much I wanted to be a father. What a indescribable feeling it is. Total blast and sometimes utterly exhausting. Having a 3 year old at 46 takes a ton of energy, we also find ourselves saying he will stop crying at some point and laughing when he is throwing a fit.

Happy Father's day to those of you who did fuck!
ETA: Congrats, Mulligan!

My story is a variation of this. I didn't get married until I was 35. We didn't even try to have a kid for a couple years. Then, when we did, she didn't get pregnant. So, the doc put her on fertility drugs and we were having sex on a regular schedule. Still wasn't happening. The doc tested me and said they were live bullets, but the problem was that my wife was in her late thirties (almost 40). We tried artificial insemnation with no luck. Like Mulligan the doc said the only hope was IVF - which is expensive and no sure thing either. So, we said fuck that. Quit the drugs and quit the scheduled sex. Figured we just weren't meant to have a kid. A year later, the wife turns up pregnant, just on recreational sex. Daughter is born to a 41 year-old parents.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 11:36 am
by The Sybian
Mulligan wrote:Voted no. I like others on this board had very little interest in having kids (time, selfish, money...) but the wife's biological clock really took off. I kept asking the Doc what I was doing wrong but he couldn't explain it either. So when they told us our only hope was IVF my wife and I decided that was enough. Just over 3 years into the process of adoption (I don't think trump vets his cabinet the way the agency combed thru us) we got a baby boy. I guess I never realized how much I wanted to be a father. What a indescribable feeling it is. Total blast and sometimes utterly exhausting. Having a 3 year old at 46 takes a ton of energy, we also find ourselves saying he will stop crying at some point and laughing when he is throwing a fit.

Happy Father's day to those of you who did fuck!
Congrats, Mulligan.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 11:39 am
by Nonlinear FC
I've loved being a dad. My son is a freshman in college, my daughter is a junior.

My wife and I are 47. We absolutely love being with the entire unit. We are also very much looking forward to our world slowing down a bit.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 11:52 am
by degenerasian
I'm somewhere in the middle of this conversation right now. No kids yet but trying to have one.
I'll let you know how it goes for me when I'm chasing a 3 year old in my 40s.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 12:05 pm
by rass
Mulligan wrote:Voted no. I like others on this board had very little interest in having kids (time, selfish, money...) but the wife's biological clock really took off. I kept asking the Doc what I was doing wrong but he couldn't explain it either. So when they told us our only hope was IVF my wife and I decided that was enough. Just over 3 years into the process of adoption (I don't think trump vets his cabinet the way the agency combed thru us) we got a baby boy. I guess I never realized how much I wanted to be a father. What a indescribable feeling it is. Total blast and sometimes utterly exhausting. Having a 3 year old at 46 takes a ton of energy, we also find ourselves saying he will stop crying at some point and laughing when he is throwing a fit.

Happy Father's day to those of you who did fuck!
Congrats man!

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 12:57 pm
by Shirley
Being a dad has been great. I've loved it. My kids are getting somewhat close to leaving the nest though - one will be a junior in high school and the other a freshman.

As much as I love my boys, I do look forward to having all of that time back. However ... the wife is constantly talking about adopting a young foster child. I'm not into that at all. I love the idea, but it's a decade too late for me. I'm ready to move on the next phase of life, not jump back a couple of steps.

Anyone else have a wife who went through that sort of thinking as their kids got older?

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:39 pm
by brian
Shirley wrote:Being a dad has been great. I've loved it. My kids are getting somewhat close to leaving the nest though - one will be a junior in high school and the other a freshman.

As much as I love my boys, I do look forward to having all of that time back. However ... the wife is constantly talking about adopting a young foster child. I'm not into that at all. I love the idea, but it's a decade too late for me. I'm ready to move on the next phase of life, not jump back a couple of steps.

Anyone else have a wife who went through that sort of thinking as their kids got older?
Every sitcom ever.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 2:09 pm
by P.D.X.
Get a cat?

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 2:13 pm
by Nonlinear FC
Shirley wrote:Being a dad has been great. I've loved it. My kids are getting somewhat close to leaving the nest though - one will be a junior in high school and the other a freshman.

As much as I love my boys, I do look forward to having all of that time back. However ... the wife is constantly talking about adopting a young foster child. I'm not into that at all. I love the idea, but it's a decade too late for me. I'm ready to move on the next phase of life, not jump back a couple of steps.

Anyone else have a wife who went through that sort of thinking as their kids got older?

As I mentioned, we are just a few years ahead of you and I had REALLY worried she might be thinking along those lines. But she's really looking forward to traveling and eventually moving somewhere new. I think she would've like to have had 3, but frankly, my kids are awesome, but they are a handful. I'm very happy how things worked out.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 2:19 pm
by Mulligan
rass wrote:
Mulligan wrote:Voted no. I like others on this board had very little interest in having kids (time, selfish, money...) but the wife's biological clock really took off. I kept asking the Doc what I was doing wrong but he couldn't explain it either. So when they told us our only hope was IVF my wife and I decided that was enough. Just over 3 years into the process of adoption (I don't think trump vets his cabinet the way the agency combed thru us) we got a baby boy. I guess I never realized how much I wanted to be a father. What a indescribable feeling it is. Total blast and sometimes utterly exhausting. Having a 3 year old at 46 takes a ton of energy, we also find ourselves saying he will stop crying at some point and laughing when he is throwing a fit.

Happy Father's day to those of you who did fuck!
Congrats man!
Thanks fellows. I was behind on the story. We got him at 3 days old so that was almost 3.5 years ago.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 3:23 pm
by HaulCitgo
I love being a dad too. I shoulda woulda had 3 but I didnt and starting again now is not appealing. That and everyone I know with 3 or more gets overrun and ultimately gives up on responsible parenting. I did want to adopt a 3rd for a while but thats past me for 2-3 years now. I need to be a teacher. It suits me and im patient and talented but the money sucks too much. Interns will have to scratch that itch now that the kids are beyond daddyball.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 3:51 pm
by elflaco
Nonlinear FC wrote:
Shirley wrote:Being a dad has been great. I've loved it. My kids are getting somewhat close to leaving the nest though - one will be a junior in high school and the other a freshman.

As much as I love my boys, I do look forward to having all of that time back. However ... the wife is constantly talking about adopting a young foster child. I'm not into that at all. I love the idea, but it's a decade too late for me. I'm ready to move on the next phase of life, not jump back a couple of steps.

Anyone else have a wife who went through that sort of thinking as their kids got older?

As I mentioned, we are just a few years ahead of you and I had REALLY worried she might be thinking along those lines. But she's really looking forward to traveling and eventually moving somewhere new. I think she would've like to have had 3, but frankly, my kids are awesome, but they are a handful. I'm very happy how things worked out.
yeah... other family-crisis events and work have thwarted her attempts at trying again (those keeping count, that's two miscarriages) at adding a second kid to the family.. soon enough she'll come back .. i'm 47 later this year.. not really into starting all over again and career wise, not a good move as both are busy as fuck.

i need to go post a rant.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2017 9:20 am
by DaveInSeattle
I love my kids, but man, do I hate that I have to deal with the steady stream of bullshit that their Mom subjects me to.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2017 9:32 am
by govmentchedda
On a week long trip in North Georgia with my oldest at boy scout camp. Lad turns 11 today. Having a blast with him. Missing my other two proofs that I've fucked, and my fuckee.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2017 9:37 am
by A_B
Really guys, this is all only proof that our wives have fucked.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2017 11:29 am
by Baloney
One and done, she is 7

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2017 12:56 pm
by Tom 1860
My son is going to secondary school (high school) in September. He is 11 in August and yes, I have had a longer relationship with the Swamp.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2017 12:58 pm
by Steve of phpBB
A_B wrote:Really guys, this is all only proof that our wives have fucked.
Yeah, that's where I was going. I can definitely say that I've fucked. But I can't definitively say I've procreated.

My son (17yo) has his first job interview, for the local grocery store, this afternoon. The poor kid is a wreck.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2017 1:22 pm
by A_B
Steve of phpBB wrote:
A_B wrote:Really guys, this is all only proof that our wives have fucked.
Yeah, that's where I was going. I can definitely say that I've fucked. But I can't definitively say I've procreated.

My son (17yo) has his first job interview, for the local grocery store, this afternoon. The poor kid is a wreck.
That should be a good introduction to interview process.

"Would you like to work here, at the grocery store?"

"Yes"

"Cool."

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2017 1:47 pm
by mister d
Being a supermarket cashier was an A+ job.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2017 1:49 pm
by Pruitt
A_B wrote:
Steve of phpBB wrote:
A_B wrote:Really guys, this is all only proof that our wives have fucked.
Yeah, that's where I was going. I can definitely say that I've fucked. But I can't definitively say I've procreated.

My son (17yo) has his first job interview, for the local grocery store, this afternoon. The poor kid is a wreck.
That should be a good introduction to interview process.

"Would you like to work here, at the grocery store?"

"Yes"

"Cool."
Hilarious!

My first part time job was at my Grandparents' company. Aced that interview.

But I remember being terrified for my first real interview for a part-time bus boy job at a restaurant downtown. My Mom made me put together a resume. It included the fact that I'd finished grade 10, was still a student and had worked for a summer as a shipper. In reality, all that it needed to say was that I could carry dirty plates to a kitchen.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2017 1:50 pm
by Sabo
mister d wrote:Being a supermarket cashier was an A+ job.
Ugh, I hated being a cashier. Generally speaking, customers are assholes. I much preferred working in the produce department or deli counter.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2017 2:03 pm
by mister d
I kinda liked the asshole customers. Made things interesting.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2017 5:49 pm
by DSafetyGuy
Steve of phpBB wrote:
A_B wrote:Really guys, this is all only proof that our wives have fucked.
Yeah, that's where I was going. I can definitely say that I've fucked. But I can't definitively say I've procreated.

My son (17yo) has his first job interview, for the local grocery store, this afternoon. The poor kid is a wreck.
If he doesn't get the gig, there is a template for an email reply for him in another thread.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2017 11:18 pm
by bfj
My oldest had his first day as a camp counselor today. He is very excited to be earning his own cash.

Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?

Posted: Wed Jun 21, 2017 1:28 am
by Keg
We had our first kid two weeks ago. We're going to huddle up in about a year to see if we want to try for another.