How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
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How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
Was going to phrase the poll question in a dad-centric manner but I noticed that Moreta made a welcome stop by the Swamp today. Kids born the same year as the Swamp are in HS by now, so let's see where we're at.
PS - I enabled re-voting so feel free to bump this if you ever successfully get some as g-d above intended.
PS - I enabled re-voting so feel free to bump this if you ever successfully get some as g-d above intended.
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Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
Zero kids and I like it that way. A dude my age with no kids and no ex wives is unheard of in the military. Didn't want to fall into the typical military trap of "accidentally get girl pregnant, get married because of said child, have horrible marriage that ends in divorce." Bye, bye chunk of my paycheck. Gaining a dependapotamus was not in the plan.
I grew up with a step dad who had been through a bitter divorce and then marries my mom who had some moments.
Do i want kids? Maybe, maybe not. I see my friends with them and all I can think of is how tired I am, how much money they are to raise, and how loud and attention needing they are.
I'm just not into it. And especially after one girl I got with was pregnant and couldn't determine how far along she was until I forced her to go to the clinic and another who literally tried to trap me with the "I think I might be pregnant" bullshit when we broke up, I'm pretty jaded about being a father.
I grew up with a step dad who had been through a bitter divorce and then marries my mom who had some moments.
Do i want kids? Maybe, maybe not. I see my friends with them and all I can think of is how tired I am, how much money they are to raise, and how loud and attention needing they are.
I'm just not into it. And especially after one girl I got with was pregnant and couldn't determine how far along she was until I forced her to go to the clinic and another who literally tried to trap me with the "I think I might be pregnant" bullshit when we broke up, I'm pretty jaded about being a father.
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Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
No kids, never wanted any. Mazel tov to the lot of y'all. You're doing a job I had no interest in doing. Kind of like those of us who didn't join the military. It's OK to admit you didn't want to do it and still respect those who did.
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Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
Seconded.brian wrote:No kids, never wanted any. Mazel tov to the lot of y'all. You're doing a job I had no interest in doing. Kind of like those of us who didn't join the military. It's OK to admit you didn't want to do it and still respect those who did.
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Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
I have one kid and it's exactly the number that's right for me. I very much wanted to be a father, but it's physically, financially, and emotionally exhausting. My hat is off to those of you who parent multiple kids,
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Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
I love being a father. I think my life would be dull as hell if I didn't have kids.
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Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
i dont honestly know. i used to donate to sperm banks a lot in college. blood plasma and semen gave me poker money so...somewhere between 0 & 600 kids?
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Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
Jerking off in the Bank Of America lobby doesn't make it a sperm bank.TT2.0 wrote:i dont honestly know. i used to donate to sperm banks a lot in college. blood plasma and semen gave me poker money so...somewhere between 0 & 600 kids?
BFJ is the town wizard who runs a magic shop. He also has a golem that he has trained to attack anti-Semites.
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Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
True here as well. Today was my daughter's last house league soccer game ever. After 12 years of soccer, 10 years in the same league, her team finally won the championship! Seeing her beaming while holding the trophy made my day.bfj wrote:I love being a father. I think my life would be dull as hell if I didn't have kids.
(And she also bought me a "beer boot" as a gift! A great day all around.)/
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Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
technically.....bfj wrote:Jerking off in the Bank Of America lobby doesn't make it a sperm bank.TT2.0 wrote:i dont honestly know. i used to donate to sperm banks a lot in college. blood plasma and semen gave me poker money so...somewhere between 0 & 600 kids?
MOTHERFUCKING 2017 WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS!!!Gunpowder wrote:you transcend douchedom.
Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
I love my kids and can't really imagine life without them, which makes sense since I've been a parent for nearly 21 years now. That said, I'm looking forward to shoving a few more out of the nest before too long.
Last edited by Moreta on Mon Jun 19, 2017 8:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
Amen.Moreta wrote:I love my kids and can't really image life without them, which makes sense since I've been a parent for nearly 21 years now. That said, I'm looking forward to shoving a few more out of the nest before too long.
20 year old goes to university downtown. 18 year old is starting university downtown in September.
The nest will not be empty for quite sometime.
"beautiful, with an exotic-yet-familiar facial structure and an arresting gaze."
Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
I am the presumed father of two children who are almost infinitely different.
One is thousands of miles away on a sailboat in the Pacific doing sophisticated research while learning seamanship and scuba. One spent the entire day within a few yards of me, attending a minor league soccer game, part of a summer college league baseball game, dining at a brew pub (the remarkable Bells in Kalamazoo), getting treats, going for walks and driving around. Several ponies and bunnies were sighted.
My children are my heart's delight. I dream about them when asleep, and talk to them when awake (and alone). I'd gladly father a few more if I were younger. I pray that I'll get to spend time with a grandchild before mine is up.
But I can imagine being happy without children, especially one who will always need to live with us. And if a few aspects of my personality were altered, or I had a less perfect wife, I can imagine strongly preferring to not have kids.
Life has many pathways.
One is thousands of miles away on a sailboat in the Pacific doing sophisticated research while learning seamanship and scuba. One spent the entire day within a few yards of me, attending a minor league soccer game, part of a summer college league baseball game, dining at a brew pub (the remarkable Bells in Kalamazoo), getting treats, going for walks and driving around. Several ponies and bunnies were sighted.
My children are my heart's delight. I dream about them when asleep, and talk to them when awake (and alone). I'd gladly father a few more if I were younger. I pray that I'll get to spend time with a grandchild before mine is up.
But I can imagine being happy without children, especially one who will always need to live with us. And if a few aspects of my personality were altered, or I had a less perfect wife, I can imagine strongly preferring to not have kids.
Life has many pathways.
Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
Voted no. I like others on this board had very little interest in having kids (time, selfish, money...) but the wife's biological clock really took off. I kept asking the Doc what I was doing wrong but he couldn't explain it either. So when they told us our only hope was IVF my wife and I decided that was enough. Just over 3 years into the process of adoption (I don't think trump vets his cabinet the way the agency combed thru us) we got a baby boy. I guess I never realized how much I wanted to be a father. What a indescribable feeling it is. Total blast and sometimes utterly exhausting. Having a 3 year old at 46 takes a ton of energy, we also find ourselves saying he will stop crying at some point and laughing when he is throwing a fit.
Happy Father's day to those of you who did fuck!
Happy Father's day to those of you who did fuck!
Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
ETA: Congrats, Mulligan!Mulligan wrote:Voted no. I like others on this board had very little interest in having kids (time, selfish, money...) but the wife's biological clock really took off. I kept asking the Doc what I was doing wrong but he couldn't explain it either. So when they told us our only hope was IVF my wife and I decided that was enough. Just over 3 years into the process of adoption (I don't think trump vets his cabinet the way the agency combed thru us) we got a baby boy. I guess I never realized how much I wanted to be a father. What a indescribable feeling it is. Total blast and sometimes utterly exhausting. Having a 3 year old at 46 takes a ton of energy, we also find ourselves saying he will stop crying at some point and laughing when he is throwing a fit.
Happy Father's day to those of you who did fuck!
My story is a variation of this. I didn't get married until I was 35. We didn't even try to have a kid for a couple years. Then, when we did, she didn't get pregnant. So, the doc put her on fertility drugs and we were having sex on a regular schedule. Still wasn't happening. The doc tested me and said they were live bullets, but the problem was that my wife was in her late thirties (almost 40). We tried artificial insemnation with no luck. Like Mulligan the doc said the only hope was IVF - which is expensive and no sure thing either. So, we said fuck that. Quit the drugs and quit the scheduled sex. Figured we just weren't meant to have a kid. A year later, the wife turns up pregnant, just on recreational sex. Daughter is born to a 41 year-old parents.
Last edited by sancarlos on Mon Jun 19, 2017 11:38 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
Congrats, Mulligan.Mulligan wrote:Voted no. I like others on this board had very little interest in having kids (time, selfish, money...) but the wife's biological clock really took off. I kept asking the Doc what I was doing wrong but he couldn't explain it either. So when they told us our only hope was IVF my wife and I decided that was enough. Just over 3 years into the process of adoption (I don't think trump vets his cabinet the way the agency combed thru us) we got a baby boy. I guess I never realized how much I wanted to be a father. What a indescribable feeling it is. Total blast and sometimes utterly exhausting. Having a 3 year old at 46 takes a ton of energy, we also find ourselves saying he will stop crying at some point and laughing when he is throwing a fit.
Happy Father's day to those of you who did fuck!
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Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
I've loved being a dad. My son is a freshman in college, my daughter is a junior.
My wife and I are 47. We absolutely love being with the entire unit. We are also very much looking forward to our world slowing down a bit.
My wife and I are 47. We absolutely love being with the entire unit. We are also very much looking forward to our world slowing down a bit.
You can lead a horse to fish, but you can't fish out a horse.
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Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
I'm somewhere in the middle of this conversation right now. No kids yet but trying to have one.
I'll let you know how it goes for me when I'm chasing a 3 year old in my 40s.
I'll let you know how it goes for me when I'm chasing a 3 year old in my 40s.
Kung Fu movies are like porn. There's 1 on 1, then 2 on 1, then a group scene..
Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
Congrats man!Mulligan wrote:Voted no. I like others on this board had very little interest in having kids (time, selfish, money...) but the wife's biological clock really took off. I kept asking the Doc what I was doing wrong but he couldn't explain it either. So when they told us our only hope was IVF my wife and I decided that was enough. Just over 3 years into the process of adoption (I don't think trump vets his cabinet the way the agency combed thru us) we got a baby boy. I guess I never realized how much I wanted to be a father. What a indescribable feeling it is. Total blast and sometimes utterly exhausting. Having a 3 year old at 46 takes a ton of energy, we also find ourselves saying he will stop crying at some point and laughing when he is throwing a fit.
Happy Father's day to those of you who did fuck!
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
Being a dad has been great. I've loved it. My kids are getting somewhat close to leaving the nest though - one will be a junior in high school and the other a freshman.
As much as I love my boys, I do look forward to having all of that time back. However ... the wife is constantly talking about adopting a young foster child. I'm not into that at all. I love the idea, but it's a decade too late for me. I'm ready to move on the next phase of life, not jump back a couple of steps.
Anyone else have a wife who went through that sort of thinking as their kids got older?
As much as I love my boys, I do look forward to having all of that time back. However ... the wife is constantly talking about adopting a young foster child. I'm not into that at all. I love the idea, but it's a decade too late for me. I'm ready to move on the next phase of life, not jump back a couple of steps.
Anyone else have a wife who went through that sort of thinking as their kids got older?
Totally Kafkaesque
Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
Every sitcom ever.Shirley wrote:Being a dad has been great. I've loved it. My kids are getting somewhat close to leaving the nest though - one will be a junior in high school and the other a freshman.
As much as I love my boys, I do look forward to having all of that time back. However ... the wife is constantly talking about adopting a young foster child. I'm not into that at all. I love the idea, but it's a decade too late for me. I'm ready to move on the next phase of life, not jump back a couple of steps.
Anyone else have a wife who went through that sort of thinking as their kids got older?
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Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
Shirley wrote:Being a dad has been great. I've loved it. My kids are getting somewhat close to leaving the nest though - one will be a junior in high school and the other a freshman.
As much as I love my boys, I do look forward to having all of that time back. However ... the wife is constantly talking about adopting a young foster child. I'm not into that at all. I love the idea, but it's a decade too late for me. I'm ready to move on the next phase of life, not jump back a couple of steps.
Anyone else have a wife who went through that sort of thinking as their kids got older?
As I mentioned, we are just a few years ahead of you and I had REALLY worried she might be thinking along those lines. But she's really looking forward to traveling and eventually moving somewhere new. I think she would've like to have had 3, but frankly, my kids are awesome, but they are a handful. I'm very happy how things worked out.
You can lead a horse to fish, but you can't fish out a horse.
Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
Thanks fellows. I was behind on the story. We got him at 3 days old so that was almost 3.5 years ago.rass wrote:Congrats man!Mulligan wrote:Voted no. I like others on this board had very little interest in having kids (time, selfish, money...) but the wife's biological clock really took off. I kept asking the Doc what I was doing wrong but he couldn't explain it either. So when they told us our only hope was IVF my wife and I decided that was enough. Just over 3 years into the process of adoption (I don't think trump vets his cabinet the way the agency combed thru us) we got a baby boy. I guess I never realized how much I wanted to be a father. What a indescribable feeling it is. Total blast and sometimes utterly exhausting. Having a 3 year old at 46 takes a ton of energy, we also find ourselves saying he will stop crying at some point and laughing when he is throwing a fit.
Happy Father's day to those of you who did fuck!
Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
I love being a dad too. I shoulda woulda had 3 but I didnt and starting again now is not appealing. That and everyone I know with 3 or more gets overrun and ultimately gives up on responsible parenting. I did want to adopt a 3rd for a while but thats past me for 2-3 years now. I need to be a teacher. It suits me and im patient and talented but the money sucks too much. Interns will have to scratch that itch now that the kids are beyond daddyball.
Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
yeah... other family-crisis events and work have thwarted her attempts at trying again (those keeping count, that's two miscarriages) at adding a second kid to the family.. soon enough she'll come back .. i'm 47 later this year.. not really into starting all over again and career wise, not a good move as both are busy as fuck.Nonlinear FC wrote:Shirley wrote:Being a dad has been great. I've loved it. My kids are getting somewhat close to leaving the nest though - one will be a junior in high school and the other a freshman.
As much as I love my boys, I do look forward to having all of that time back. However ... the wife is constantly talking about adopting a young foster child. I'm not into that at all. I love the idea, but it's a decade too late for me. I'm ready to move on the next phase of life, not jump back a couple of steps.
Anyone else have a wife who went through that sort of thinking as their kids got older?
As I mentioned, we are just a few years ahead of you and I had REALLY worried she might be thinking along those lines. But she's really looking forward to traveling and eventually moving somewhere new. I think she would've like to have had 3, but frankly, my kids are awesome, but they are a handful. I'm very happy how things worked out.
i need to go post a rant.
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Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
I love my kids, but man, do I hate that I have to deal with the steady stream of bullshit that their Mom subjects me to.
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Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
On a week long trip in North Georgia with my oldest at boy scout camp. Lad turns 11 today. Having a blast with him. Missing my other two proofs that I've fucked, and my fuckee.
Until everything is less insane, I'm mixing weed with wine.
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Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
Really guys, this is all only proof that our wives have fucked.
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
One and done, she is 7
Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
My son is going to secondary school (high school) in September. He is 11 in August and yes, I have had a longer relationship with the Swamp.
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Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
Yeah, that's where I was going. I can definitely say that I've fucked. But I can't definitively say I've procreated.A_B wrote:Really guys, this is all only proof that our wives have fucked.
My son (17yo) has his first job interview, for the local grocery store, this afternoon. The poor kid is a wreck.
And his one problem is he didn’t go to Russia that night because he had extracurricular activities, and they froze to death.
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Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
That should be a good introduction to interview process.Steve of phpBB wrote:Yeah, that's where I was going. I can definitely say that I've fucked. But I can't definitively say I've procreated.A_B wrote:Really guys, this is all only proof that our wives have fucked.
My son (17yo) has his first job interview, for the local grocery store, this afternoon. The poor kid is a wreck.
"Would you like to work here, at the grocery store?"
"Yes"
"Cool."
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
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Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
Hilarious!A_B wrote:That should be a good introduction to interview process.Steve of phpBB wrote:Yeah, that's where I was going. I can definitely say that I've fucked. But I can't definitively say I've procreated.A_B wrote:Really guys, this is all only proof that our wives have fucked.
My son (17yo) has his first job interview, for the local grocery store, this afternoon. The poor kid is a wreck.
"Would you like to work here, at the grocery store?"
"Yes"
"Cool."
My first part time job was at my Grandparents' company. Aced that interview.
But I remember being terrified for my first real interview for a part-time bus boy job at a restaurant downtown. My Mom made me put together a resume. It included the fact that I'd finished grade 10, was still a student and had worked for a summer as a shipper. In reality, all that it needed to say was that I could carry dirty plates to a kitchen.
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Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
Ugh, I hated being a cashier. Generally speaking, customers are assholes. I much preferred working in the produce department or deli counter.mister d wrote:Being a supermarket cashier was an A+ job.
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Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
If he doesn't get the gig, there is a template for an email reply for him in another thread.Steve of phpBB wrote:Yeah, that's where I was going. I can definitely say that I've fucked. But I can't definitively say I've procreated.A_B wrote:Really guys, this is all only proof that our wives have fucked.
My son (17yo) has his first job interview, for the local grocery store, this afternoon. The poor kid is a wreck.
“All I'm sayin' is, he comes near me, I'll put him in the wall.”
Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
My oldest had his first day as a camp counselor today. He is very excited to be earning his own cash.
BFJ is the town wizard who runs a magic shop. He also has a golem that he has trained to attack anti-Semites.
Re: How many of us can definitively say that we've fucked?
We had our first kid two weeks ago. We're going to huddle up in about a year to see if we want to try for another.
My only fear of death is coming back to this b1tch reincarnated