The Swamp

Posted: **Wed Nov 22, 2017 8:56 pm**

DSafetyGuy wrote:I think I now know which heel is eventually going to turn face.

I was about to say the same about you. You're becoming the heel who's too good to boo. I'm still giggling at 'one-horse town.'

I'm guessing that my character will give very long-winded promos. I'll receive a great pop the first week, a mixed reaction the second week, and by the third week, the network will cut to commercial as soon as I pick up a microphone. I'll put a few guys over, then see if there's any work for me in Memphis.

Posted: **Wed Nov 22, 2017 9:18 pm**

tune in sunday sunday sunday

spoiler alert swampers

GIFF IS NOT GONNA BE OKAY

Posted: **Wed Nov 22, 2017 9:21 pm**

bapo! wrote:
DSafetyGuy wrote:I think I now know which heel is eventually going to turn face.

I was about to say the same about you. You're becoming the heel who's too good to boo. I'm still giggling at 'one-horse town.'

I'm guessing that my character will give very long-winded promos. I'll receive a great pop the first week, a mixed reaction the second week, and by the third week, the network will cut to commercial as soon as I pick up a microphone. I'll put a few guys over, then see if there's any work for me in Memphis.

Based on your appearance the last time I saw you, it looks like the only thing you should do is be a special guest referee.

(Yes, bapo! owns a referee shirt.)

Posted: **Wed Nov 22, 2017 9:57 pm**

TT2.0 wrote:tune in sunday sunday sunday

spoiler alert swampers

GIFF IS NOT GONNA BE OKAY

We'll sell you the whole seat - but you'll only need the edge!

Posted: **Wed Nov 22, 2017 10:07 pm**

Sabo wrote:Based on your appearance the last time I saw you, it looks like the only thing you should do is be a special guest referee.

(Yes, bapo! owns a referee shirt.)

And I look positively divine in that jersey. Or I just look like a geek. One of those.

Special Guest Referee would be a good role for me. Keeps my name in the game. And it would be roughly equivalent to my Out of the Park persona, who wants to retire to Burlington and make himself available for store openings and part-time broadcasting work. I've perfected the role of aging fan favorite who doesn't know when to step away. Again, this is why I love wrestling: so many meta storylines.

Posted: **Wed Nov 22, 2017 11:51 pm**

My intro music is YMCA. Decide which Village People I am that day. I do prefer the cop because of his great stache.

Posted: **Thu Nov 23, 2017 12:02 am**

Johnny Carwash wrote:So for most of you guys, I've come up with a general idea of what your in-game persona will look like. Could use some suggestions for the following:
- Bronto

Needs to furiously be swiping right while having crazy eyes. Maybe as a precursor to his finisher.

Posted: **Thu Nov 23, 2017 9:57 am**

bapo! wrote:
Sabo wrote:Based on your appearance the last time I saw you, it looks like the only thing you should do is be a special guest referee.

(Yes, bapo! owns a referee shirt.)

And I look positively divine in that jersey. Or I just look like a geek. One of those.

Special Guest Referee would be a good role for me. Keeps my name in the game. And it would be roughly equivalent to my Out of the Park persona, who wants to retire to Burlington and make himself available for store openings and part-time broadcasting work. I've perfected the role of aging fan favorite who doesn't know when to step away. Again, this is why I love wrestling: so many meta storylines.

Bapo, with your affinity for one-horse towns, retiring to Burlington sounds perfect. The only downside of retiring is you'll have to lose the referee shirt, as you can't have any of the morons in Burlington -- which is everyone in Burlington, obviously -- thinking you work at Footlocker, if they even have enough blood circulation to their feeble brains to know what a Footlocker is. The bright side is you'll have that opportunity to retire early as soon as the Swamp Wrestling Federation puts a date and a place -- a real city befitting of Top Talent, mind you -- for Top Talent to face you and sancarlos in the ring.

The good news for the SWF offices is they don't even have to go through extra work of making it an official retirement match on the paperwork. Sabo and I will make it simple for them and just put you and "Old Saint Charlie" out to pasture forever.

You'll go away to Burlington or whatever one-light town makes Pruitt feel claustrophobic and "Old Saint Charlie" will find out which 4:45 dinner is stewed tomato night at the old folks' home. Meanwhile, Sabo and I will take our proper place on the top of the Swamp Wrestling Federation heap with gold around our waists, hundred dollar bills falling out of our wallets, and even more top talent on our arms.

(walks off, leaving Kranepool holding a the microphone in one hand and his dick in the other)

EDIT: I changed "whatever Swamp stooge who is the SWF reporter" to Kranepool. Seems apt.

Posted: **Thu Nov 23, 2017 11:53 am**

Johnnie wrote:
Johnny Carwash wrote:So for most of you guys, I've come up with a general idea of what your in-game persona will look like. Could use some suggestions for the following:
- Bronto

Needs to furiously be swiping right while having crazy eyes. Maybe as a precursor to his finisher.

His finisher should be “The Creme Egg”.

Posted: **Mon Nov 27, 2017 7:34 am**

Happy Monday everyone.

As a prelude to the tournament, here's Top Talent (DSafetyGuy & Sabo) vs. bapcarlos! (bapo! & sancarlos) for the vacant Swamp Tag Team Championship:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7VpPVfrQiA&t

Planning to post the first singles tournament matches later this week.

Posted: **Mon Nov 27, 2017 8:15 am**

1. 0:26 is great
2. If you're still taking logo suggestions, I'd add another line coming off the side of the W to make the F on the end like the old WWF logo
3.

[+] spoiler: Kevin Arnold's gym teacher really wrecked shop there at the end

Posted: **Mon Nov 27, 2017 8:41 am**

Did SCK just shit out a chair? Oh my gawd!!!

Metzler would probably give this a three start match. Entertaining, just not great wrestling, although SCK had some sick aerial moves.

Posted: **Mon Nov 27, 2017 9:42 am**

That match was definitive proof that Top Talent truly is Simply the Best.

Now get that grey-haired piece of trash and cheating bastard SCK and his Jewfro-wearing flunky Bapo out of our ring and give us a real challenge.

Posted: **Mon Nov 27, 2017 12:03 pm**

duff wrote:Meltzer would probably give this a three star match.

Would have been 4 stars in Osaka.

Sancarlos did his part in this match. Maybe I'm holding him back. SCK, maybe it's time for you to find a new partner. See what Buff Bagwell is up to these days.

Posted: **Mon Nov 27, 2017 1:13 pm**

bapo! wrote:
duff wrote:Meltzer would probably give this a three star match.

Would have been 4 stars in Osaka.

Sancarlos did his part in this match. Maybe I'm holding him back. SCK, maybe it's time for you to find a new partner. See what Buff Bagwell is up to these days.

Posted: **Mon Nov 27, 2017 1:29 pm**

Well, yeah, there's that. But he might be available for Sunday matinees.

Just looked him up, and he appeared in a Showtime reality show about gigolos a few years ago. I thought that was just an urban legend. He truly is the stuff.

Posted: **Mon Nov 27, 2017 2:20 pm**

As long as Judy comes along.

Posted: **Mon Nov 27, 2017 2:33 pm**

duff wrote:As long as Judy comes along.

Yes, we really need a 'Buff Bagwell's Mom on a Forklift' match to really up the ante. Maybe that will be my blow-off match with Sabo.

Posted: **Mon Nov 27, 2017 2:41 pm**

Marcus Alexander Bapo is definitely a good AOL screen name from 1998

Posted: **Mon Nov 27, 2017 2:47 pm**

bapo! wrote:
duff wrote:As long as Judy comes along.

Yes, we really need a 'Buff Bagwell's Mom on a Forklift' match to really up the ante. Maybe that will be my blow-off match with Sabo.

If that match gets booked you'll win by forfeit because I'll no-show.

(Fuck Vince Russo and his idiotic stipulation matches in WCW.)

Posted: **Mon Nov 27, 2017 3:42 pm**

Ryan wrote:Marcus Alexander Bapo is definitely a good AOL screen name from 1998

Very close to my initial email address of big_poppa_duff.

Posted: **Tue Nov 28, 2017 9:39 am**

I feel like there's an obvious in-joke choice for Giff's intro song that is just escaping me right now.

Posted: **Tue Nov 28, 2017 9:51 am**

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pY8jaGs7xJ0

Posted: **Tue Nov 28, 2017 9:54 am**

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxeHfB-udlI

Posted: **Tue Nov 28, 2017 2:34 pm**

Ryan wrote:1. 0:26 is great

Just as great as I had hoped.

(grabs microphone)

Let me tell you, Kranepool, when sabo and I came to the Swamp Wrestling Federation, we had a simple goal: to grab our championship belts as soon as we could. And, unsurprisingly, that's exactly what we did. And, even more unsurprisingly, we'll be doing the same with the rest of the Swamp Wrestling Federation belts.

Thanks to bapo and Old Saint Charlie, without whose losing combined with the Swamp Wrestling Federation's rules that titles must actually be won in the ring, this would not have been possible. I'm truly grateful. So grateful, in fact, that you two can now feel free to retire to wherever it is you're retiring to. And Old Saint Charlie, it is my regret to inform you that Top Talent will not be visiting you in your retirement facility. We both know how much the gleam of gold bothers your cataracts.

And now, on to this allegedly fair tournament to claim the Swamp Wrestling Federation world championship. I use the world allegedly, Kranepool, because it's not really fair to the other 30 competitors that they will not have the opportunity to watch sabo and I compete for the title. This ridiculous draw that has us facing each other in the third round is a disgrace to the Swamp Wrestling Federation. The greatest prize in the world is -- ha ha, "up for grabs" -- and the two greatest performers this organization has ever seen have their names written in ink in the third round. Not the finals. The third round. This is simply disgraceful. The so-called Commissioner Johnny Carwash should go back to waxing on, as he clearly is better served doing that than running the Swamp Wrestling Federation.

But, the tournament exists, so it's just a matter if time until sabo and I take our proper place on atop of the Swamp Wrestling Federation with more gold around our waists, hundred dollar bills falling out of our wallets, and even more top talent on our arms.

Posted: **Wed Nov 29, 2017 7:24 am**

NORTHEAST REGIONAL - HARTFORD CIVIC CENTER
brought to you by Dunkin' Donuts and Carvel

Including a spoiler for the match results, if you can't/don't want to watch the full videos:
[spoiler=MATCH RESULTS]duff defeated wlu_lax by pin
Ryan defeated Jerloma by pin
A_B defeated Brontoburglar by pin
Johnnie defeated BFJ by pin[/spoiler]

Match 1 - duff vs. wlu_lax
https://youtu.be/nOybAZTYxTg

Match 2 - Ryan vs. Jerloma
https://youtu.be/N1IbNwTBG7o

Match 3 - Brontoburglar vs. A_B
https://youtu.be/f2LQCuREDGI

Match 4 - Johnnie vs. BFJ
https://youtu.be/UzzdMvIkaaU

[spoiler=UPDATED BRACKET]

[/spoiler]

Posted: **Wed Nov 29, 2017 7:41 am**

Jerloma blew it.

Johnnie showed a lot of guile in his match.

Posted: **Wed Nov 29, 2017 8:10 am**

Posted: **Wed Nov 29, 2017 9:12 am**

Ryan's walk-up music of 'Why Can't We Be Friends' is bookended perfectly by his trademarked

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That's just awesome (sorry if late to the game on that front)..

Posted: **Wed Nov 29, 2017 9:15 am**

...And Brontoburglar's head-butt to A_B's nuts at 5:00? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Posted: **Wed Nov 29, 2017 9:19 am**

EnochRoot wrote:...And Brontoburglar's head-butt to A_B's nuts at 5:00? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I didn't appreciate that and I showed that little fucker. I'm 40 and married. I don't need those anymore anyway.

Posted: **Wed Nov 29, 2017 9:27 am**

The mat is fahkin' beautiful by the way.

Posted: **Wed Nov 29, 2017 9:44 am**

Few things:

1. The match speed here is slightly sped up, since the default speed seemed a little slow to me. Let me know if it feels too fast to follow.
2. I know the '80s video game background music can get annoying, and will see about changing or turning it off for the next set.

Ryan wrote:If you're still taking logo suggestions, I'd add another line coming off the side of the W to make the F on the end like the old WWF logo

3. Meant to respond to this. The top tail of the S going to the right is supposed to form the top of the F. Might not be as clear as intended.

Posted: **Wed Nov 29, 2017 9:48 am**

I got the F in the logo originally, so tell ryan to F off.

Posted: **Wed Nov 29, 2017 9:48 am**

As soon as I went to try that back flippy slammy thing off the top buckle again, I knew I was done. You don't get away with that twice.

Posted: **Wed Nov 29, 2017 9:52 am**

Jerloma wrote:As soon as I went to try that back flippy slammy thing off the top buckle again, I knew I was done. You don't get away with that twice.

The way we copied each other's moves from the very beginning was good foreshadowing there. You're a decent storyteller and I'd work with you again if this wasn't a tournament where the losers are never heard from again.

Posted: **Wed Nov 29, 2017 10:17 am**

How'd you get Dunkin' Donuts to sponsor the event?

Fantastic!

Posted: **Wed Nov 29, 2017 12:08 pm**

This morning, I was thinking about how much I'm looking forward to New Japan's big Tokyo Dome show. I'll wake up early, then spend hours watching a series of great matches. Then I was sad because I have to wait another five weeks.

But lo! I logged onto the Swamp and saw the Hartford Regional had been uploaded!

Ryan's shrug after his ring entrance is just the greatest thing.

Going back a couple of days, I also love Top Talent walking out to 'Simply the Best.' Schlocky '80s pop gets me every time. And DSafe's bullying in-ring style is perfectly suited to his character. Hearing my purple-afro'd virtual self scream while being choked is unsettling, to say the least.

For posterity:

Posted: **Wed Nov 29, 2017 11:02 pm**

good run bfj...now when i get eliminated we can join the tag division as THE PERFECT 10

by the way, johnnie piledriving bfj is the hulk hogan powerslamming andre the giant of swamp history...where were you when miracles happened?

Posted: **Thu Nov 30, 2017 12:04 am**

rass wrote:Johnnie showed a lot of guile in his match.

SONIC BOOM.

BFJ was too enamored by the ice cream and doughnuts sponsorships to deal with this goyim and his bacon influenced persona. Oy vey, bro.

The Swamp

Swamp Wrestling Federation 2021 - Gunpowder vs. GoodKarma (Featuring BFJ and DSafe on the mic!)

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