Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - brian vs. wlu_lax (Featuring Gunpowder on the mic!)
Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2021 2:50 pm
by Johnny Carwash
Pruitt wrote: ↑Fri Jan 08, 2021 9:16 am
Shouldn't Brian be wearing a Luchadores' mask?
Yeah, I really should have worked in some Mexico references for Brian.
BTW, we should be seeing both the singles and tag team title matches soon.
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - brian vs. wlu_lax (Featuring Gunpowder on the mic!)
Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2021 2:58 pm
by govmentchedda
Finally watched my match. Take THAT, nonlinear! Way less hugging and cuddling than I expected.
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2021 8:12 am
by Johnny Carwash
MATCH 7 - AB VS. RASS - SWF CHAMPIONSHIP
Here we go. After a hiatus, Swamp champion AB returns to the ring to put his belt on the line against the challenger rass. As always, rass is accompanied by the lovely Salma Hayek, though she's been cautioned to tone down her level of intervention after some past incidents.
Will AB make rass the latest victim of his signature Bourbon Bender, or will rass pull off the upset with his Allegheny Bitch Slap?
Today's match comes to you from the Cincinnati Gardens, brought to you by Skyline Chili and WKRP. Stop by your local Skyline Chili today, where you might meet one of your favorite WKRP characters. Except Herb. Fuck Herb.
I had a chance to catch up with both competitors on their way to the ring. First up, the challenger. rass, what are your keys to victory tonight?
So are you doing the thing where you bump an obscure thread because of its presumed relevance to something that just happened in the news, but won't tell anyone why so you can make them look dumb for asking?
Alright, thanks rass. Now it's time to hear from the champion. AB, your opponent had some strong words for you earlier. What do you have to say in response?
A_B wrote:i dont giev a shut wat hhe thimks. im her to fickimg win anf ggo home. another
Well, AB certainly seems to be in his customary pre-match condition. Good luck to both men.
Down to ringside where Gunpowder and BFJ are finally reunited for commentary!
Next on the docket was Rass challenging AB for the SWF World Heavyweight Title.
AB is a beast. This man is more resilient than the energy sector. AB withstood quite a few Patterson Pattycakes from Rass. Rass put on an offensive showcase for the ages, but AB was immune from being pickled from years of bourbon abuse. And speaking of bourbon abuse, Rass submitted to the second of two devastating Bourbon Benders. Looks like Salma "It's a man, baby!" Hayek couldn't get the needed rise out of Rass to withstand those Benders.
I did enjoy this match. Quite a bit of punishment doled out tonight. Match rating of 130+ Proof.
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2021 8:19 am
by rass
Can't wait to watch. And I clearly didn't get a chance to use the ulfberht sword that Salma stashed under the ring or else this wouldn't have taken 10+ minutes.
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Looks like I picked the wrong month to give up drinking (for a month)
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2021 11:10 am
by bfj
That was fun to do. Not going to lie, I had to Google Kevin Zeitler after the match.
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2021 12:44 pm
by Johnny Carwash
rass wrote: ↑Fri Jan 15, 2021 9:54 am
"quick dick kick on the Bone Lick hick" might be the best rhyme GPJ has ever spat
Yeah, that was the "Giants win the pennant" of wrestling calls.
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2021 1:05 pm
by Pruitt
What a match!
"Skyline chili - you'll be tasting it tomorrow!" & "That was a Manziel-level bender" just brilliant.
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2021 1:23 pm
by Gunpowder
bfj wrote: ↑Fri Jan 15, 2021 11:10 am
That was fun to do. Not going to lie, I had to Google Kevin Zeitler after the match.
Per Joe Thomas, a meathead amongst meatheads.
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2021 8:25 am
by Johnny Carwash
Next match is going to be the Swamp Tag Team championship: Perfect 10 (TT and BFJ) defend their belts against Top Talent (Sabo and DSafetyGuy). Have at it with the trash talk as you please.
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2021 9:17 am
by elflaco2
so who is the NJ Champion?
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2021 9:38 am
by Johnny Carwash
elflaco2 wrote: ↑Thu Feb 04, 2021 9:17 am
so who is the NJ Champion?
It's currently vacant, but you can challenge someone for it if you want. Or we could have a Royal Rumble between the 46 different Swampers from NJ.
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2021 9:42 am
by Giff
Just play I Did It over the loud speakers and Mister D will run off.
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2021 9:50 am
by bfj
Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Thu Feb 04, 2021 8:25 am
Next match is going to be the Swamp Tag Team championship: Perfect 10 (TT and BFJ) defend their belts against Top Talent (Sabo and DSafetyGuy). Have at it with the trash talk as you please.
Let me tell you something brother. This quarantine has done nothing but made me more focused on retaining the tag team belts with my brother TT. He may be busy making motherfuckers laugh, but I've been packing on the pounds and focusing on my skills in the ring. If anything I've put on so much weight we may be the Perfect 18 now. I'll be in the corner eating donuts while TT lays the Sweet Tea Shuffle on Top Talent's pair of bird watchin', stimulus check collectin' asses.
I know that the SWF's fantastic announcer team of GPJ and Beefy Frank Jackson will recognize who the champions are and will call this match right down the middle.
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
elflaco2 wrote: ↑Thu Feb 04, 2021 9:17 am
so who is the NJ Champion?
It's currently vacant, but you can challenge someone for it if you want. Or we could have a Royal Rumble between the 46 different Swampers from NJ.
ja! what are they gonna do when FlacoMania runs wild on them!!
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2021 5:57 pm
by Johnny Carwash
Sounds like flaco is pretty amped to go for the NJ title. I could make that the undercard for the next match. Who do we want to throw at him that hasn't been featured recently? LJam?
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2021 7:04 pm
by bfj
Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Thu Feb 04, 2021 5:57 pm
Sounds like flaco is pretty amped to go for the NJ title. I could make that the undercard for the next match. Who do we want to throw at him that hasn't been featured recently? LJam?
Syb?
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2021 9:25 pm
by Johnny Carwash
s/cerrano lives in NJ, right? I think he posted a couple times in this thread.
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2021 9:36 pm
by rass
He does. ljam lived here, but doesn’t at this point I think.
Of the relatively inactive - Denis, I think? Devilfluff?
AB wants to move to Morristown.
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2021 9:42 pm
by A_B
rass wrote: ↑Thu Feb 04, 2021 9:36 pm
He does. ljam lived here, but doesn’t at this point I think.
Of the relatively inactive - Denis, I think? Devilfluff?
AB wants to move to Morristown.
Mo town is trash. I challenge the winner of the NJ royal rumble to a title bout. Bunch of softies actually shoveling your walk instead of drinking bourbon and letting nature take its course.
Whooooooooooooooooo!
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2021 12:08 pm
by Johnny Carwash
Taking suggestions for BFJ, DSafe, Sabo's signature move names.
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2021 12:19 pm
by Pruitt
Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Fri Feb 05, 2021 12:08 pm
Taking suggestions for BFJ, DSafe, Sabo's signature move names.
BFJ seems like he'd be the master of the "Figure four leg lox" or the "Baltimore crab"
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2021 4:01 pm
by GoodKarma
I would say Cleveland Steamer for Sabo but that's already taken...
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2021 4:04 pm
by mister d
Pruitt wrote: ↑Fri Feb 05, 2021 12:19 pmBFJ seems like he'd be the master of the "Figure four leg lox" or the "Baltimore crab"
Ha. Absolutely the former.
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Fri Feb 05, 2021 12:08 pm
Taking suggestions for BFJ, DSafe, Sabo's signature move names.
BFJ seems like he'd be the master of the "Figure four leg lox" or the "Baltimore crab"
Well done Pruitt!
Dsafe and Sabo won't have a chance to use their finishing moves.
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2021 4:26 pm
by Johnny Carwash
Pruitt wrote: ↑Fri Feb 05, 2021 12:19 pm
"Figure four leg lox"
Didn't read closely enough the first time, but that's fantastic. I don't think it fits well with BFJ's wrestling style, though, as he's more of a throw-your-weight-around guy than a technician.
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2021 4:28 pm
by A_B
The mazel tov cock wail.
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Pruitt wrote: ↑Fri Feb 05, 2021 12:19 pm
"Figure four leg lox"
Didn't read closely enough the first time, but that's fantastic. I don't think it fits well with BFJ's wrestling style, though, as he's more of a throw-your-weight-around guy than a technician.
So add a schmear
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2021 4:56 pm
by Johnny Carwash
I'm looking for a name that combines Judaism and violently slamming your body into people but isn't "Harvey Weinstein."
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2021 4:59 pm
by Ryan
Jeruslam
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2021 5:05 pm
by bfj
Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Fri Feb 05, 2021 4:56 pm
I'm looking for a name that combines Judaism and violently slamming your body into people but isn't "Harvey Weinstein."
The Wailing Wall
The Final Solution (maybe not so much)
The NetanyaHOOOOO
40 Years in the Desert
The Unleavening
Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - AB vs. rass (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ on the mic!)
Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Fri Feb 05, 2021 4:56 pm
I'm looking for a name that combines Judaism and violently slamming your body into people but isn't "Harvey Weinstein."
Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Fri Feb 05, 2021 4:56 pm
I'm looking for a name that combines Judaism and violently slamming your body into people but isn't "Harvey Weinstein."