The Swamp

Posted: **Tue Nov 26, 2019 3:03 pm**

bfj wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 2:34 pm
Ryan wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 2:29 pm I'm torn here because I don't think the waitress (SERVER!) signs up for all that a comedy club might imply just because she works there but on the other hand I don't care get over it.
If it happens at a diner, that’s horrible and out of line. From a comic on stage at an open mic? Get over it.

Not my job to make you give a fuck about others beyond your nose.

Posted: **Tue Nov 26, 2019 3:12 pm**

That’s ok. Spend more time getting offended for everyone else.

Posted: **Tue Nov 26, 2019 3:34 pm**

EnochRoot wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 3:03 pm
bfj wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 2:34 pm
Ryan wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 2:29 pm I'm torn here because I don't think the waitress (SERVER!) signs up for all that a comedy club might imply just because she works there but on the other hand I don't care get over it.
If it happens at a diner, that’s horrible and out of line. From a comic on stage at an open mic? Get over it.
Not my job to make you give a fuck about others beyond your nose.

My nose? Is that going back to an old Jewish trope about Jews having big noses? Oh golly, I may faint from the vapors.

Posted: **Tue Nov 26, 2019 4:30 pm**

See if there are any pennies while you’re down there

Posted: **Tue Nov 26, 2019 8:42 pm**

bfj wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 3:34 pm
EnochRoot wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 3:03 pm
bfj wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 2:34 pm
Ryan wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 2:29 pm I'm torn here because I don't think the waitress (SERVER!) signs up for all that a comedy club might imply just because she works there but on the other hand I don't care get over it.
If it happens at a diner, that’s horrible and out of line. From a comic on stage at an open mic? Get over it.
Not my job to make you give a fuck about others beyond your nose.
My nose? Is that going back to an old Jewish trope about Jews having big noses? Oh golly, I may faint from the vapors.

No, that had nothing to do with any "old Jewish trope". Just a standard idiom, idiot.

Posted: **Tue Nov 26, 2019 9:19 pm**

EnochRoot wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 8:42 pm
bfj wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 3:34 pm
EnochRoot wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 3:03 pm
bfj wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 2:34 pm
Ryan wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 2:29 pm I'm torn here because I don't think the waitress (SERVER!) signs up for all that a comedy club might imply just because she works there but on the other hand I don't care get over it.
If it happens at a diner, that’s horrible and out of line. From a comic on stage at an open mic? Get over it.
Not my job to make you give a fuck about others beyond your nose.
My nose? Is that going back to an old Jewish trope about Jews having big noses? Oh golly, I may faint from the vapors.
No, that had nothing to do with any "old Jewish trope". Just a standard idiom, idiot.

Ah. Name calling. Class act. Just like a guy that would suggest an addict relapse. Improve yourself before you try to improve others. Judgmental douche.

Posted: **Wed Nov 27, 2019 8:14 am**

I agree that as it happened at a comedy club, there are better places to take one's outrage.

I haven't been to one in years, but insults from the stage are - as I recall - part of the show.

Posted: **Wed Nov 27, 2019 8:51 am**

bfj wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 9:19 pm
EnochRoot wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 8:42 pm
bfj wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 3:34 pm
EnochRoot wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 3:03 pm
bfj wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 2:34 pm
Ryan wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 2:29 pm I'm torn here because I don't think the waitress (SERVER!) signs up for all that a comedy club might imply just because she works there but on the other hand I don't care get over it.
If it happens at a diner, that’s horrible and out of line. From a comic on stage at an open mic? Get over it.
Not my job to make you give a fuck about others beyond your nose.
My nose? Is that going back to an old Jewish trope about Jews having big noses? Oh golly, I may faint from the vapors.
No, that had nothing to do with any "old Jewish trope". Just a standard idiom, idiot.
Ah. Name calling. Class act. Just like a guy that would suggest an addict relapse. Improve yourself before you try to improve others. Judgmental douche.

I’d rather be a judgmental douche than a coward who throws victimhood around as a shield. Be better.

And the point of suggesting he relapse was to convey the absurdity of mocking a person for being Asian in front of an audience. She might not have the Ethnic Superhero costume you have under your [sweat]suit.

Posted: **Wed Nov 27, 2019 8:55 am**

*sweat suit

Posted: **Wed Nov 27, 2019 9:57 am**

EnochRoot wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 3:03 pm

I’d rather be a judgmental douche

Mission Accomplished

Posted: **Wed Nov 27, 2019 11:38 am**

bfj wrote: ↑Wed Nov 27, 2019 9:57 am
EnochRoot wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 3:03 pm

I’d rather be a judgmental douche
Mission Accomplished

You're not nearly as clever as you think you are.

Posted: **Wed Nov 27, 2019 11:43 am**

EnochRoot wrote: ↑Wed Nov 27, 2019 11:38 am
bfj wrote: ↑Wed Nov 27, 2019 9:57 am
EnochRoot wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 3:03 pm

I’d rather be a judgmental douche
Mission Accomplished

You're not nearly as clever as you think you are.

Still 20x funnier than you'll ever be. Keep trying though. Be better.

Posted: **Wed Nov 27, 2019 12:01 pm**

bfj wrote: ↑Wed Nov 27, 2019 11:43 am
EnochRoot wrote: ↑Wed Nov 27, 2019 11:38 am
bfj wrote: ↑Wed Nov 27, 2019 9:57 am
EnochRoot wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 3:03 pm

I’d rather be a judgmental douche
Mission Accomplished

You're not nearly as clever as you think you are.

Still 20x funnier than you'll ever be. Keep trying though. Be better.

When I stop and think: what if a two-bit fan of alt-right pandering comedy says he's 20x funnier than me?

Who the fuck cares.

Posted: **Wed Nov 27, 2019 12:03 pm**

Clearly you do. Let it go sunshine. This place doesn’t care about your moral judgments.

Posted: **Wed Nov 27, 2019 12:18 pm**

Let me help, bfj. Remember when the cheating Astros made Gary Sanchez drop a ball to allow the game winning run in game 2 of the 2017 ALCS?

Posted: **Wed Nov 27, 2019 12:49 pm**

After stretching this out over 2 pages, I'd say that if he's anything BFJ is a committed fan of two-bit alt-right pandering comedy.

Posted: **Wed Nov 27, 2019 12:52 pm**

And really, alt-right pandering comedy*? Who's crying victimhood now?

*gonna confess I've only seen a smattering of TT's sets, but I assume that if he had gone down that road the rest of you would be either slightly more critical or slightly less supportive?

Posted: **Wed Nov 27, 2019 1:00 pm**

Wild - I thought all this talk of Thanksgiving tension was a media construct.

Posted: **Wed Nov 27, 2019 10:53 pm**

rass wrote: ↑Wed Nov 27, 2019 12:52 pm And really, alt-right pandering comedy*? Who's crying victimhood now?

*gonna confess I've only seen a smattering of TT's sets, but I assume that if he had gone down that road the rest of you would be either slightly more critical or slightly less supportive?

Aggro-comedy work better for you?

Here's the thing. A guy dragging his lifeless ass onto this board looking for another reason to live, gets one, and then comes back swinging downward at minorities. Oh but the sacred Scroll of Comedy!

The resident Big Fat Jew champions said Scroll. Except that he moves the goalposts to prove his comedy is the bestest (20x, actually) of all time to prove a point.

I'm just curious as to how this shit is encouraged. If this were AOC, and it was Richard Spencer dropping some ill-advised bomb, you'd have SJWs up in arms about it. But because it's some low-rent dive, Asian waitress working in a comedy club, she's fair game to be mocked?

You guys are all pussies. You don't stand for shit. You stand when you think people are watching.

Posted: **Wed Nov 27, 2019 10:56 pm**

And by golly, I thought Big Fat Turkeys could fly.

Posted: **Thu Nov 28, 2019 9:46 am**

Again, is this all just from that one joke?

Posted: **Thu Nov 28, 2019 9:51 am**

she works the same shift at the same open mic i host every monday and sees the same 30 comedians, 23 of whom make fun of her in ways way less clever than me. She literally giggles at the shit. I just can never remember her fucking name. I will own that it was kinda racist. I also will own that i fucking laughed when i thought of it in my head. Does that make me a bad person? Probably. I personally feel like I have way worse jokes that I get away with.

Posted: **Thu Nov 28, 2019 11:39 am**

rass wrote: ↑Thu Nov 28, 2019 9:46 am Again, is this all just from that one joke?

Afraid so. A joke told in a comedy club.

Posted: **Thu Nov 28, 2019 11:45 am**

Too late now (and impossible to foresee) but Enoch could have waited a couple of days and shamed TT by pointing out he’s digging in the same mine as Jay Leno rather than making the relapse comment. More effective and less controversial?

Posted: **Thu Nov 28, 2019 10:49 pm**

I'm just gonna shutup and go back to the safety and comfort of writing R Kelly jokes

Posted: **Fri Nov 29, 2019 5:28 pm**

TT2.0 wrote: ↑Thu Nov 28, 2019 10:49 pm I'm just gonna shutup and go back to the safety and comfort of writing R Kelly jokes

Don’t let the Astros-hating fuck win!

Posted: **Fri Nov 29, 2019 8:57 pm**

TT2.0 wrote: ↑Thu Nov 28, 2019 10:49 pm I'm just gonna shutup and go back to the safety and comfort of writing R Kelly jokes

Done with jokes that piss people off and back to jokes about people that piss on other people.

Posted: **Wed Jan 15, 2020 9:53 am**

Why do you never see hippopotamuses hiding in trees?

[+] spoiler: Because they're really good at it!

Posted: **Wed Jan 15, 2020 11:04 am**

A_B wrote: ↑Wed Jan 15, 2020 9:53 am Why do you never see hippopotamuses hiding in trees?

[+] spoiler
Because they're really good at it!

Reminds me of one of my favourites as a kid -

How does an elephant hide in a bag of M & Ms?

[+] spoiler: He paints his toenails different colours.

Posted: **Thu Jan 16, 2020 5:37 pm**

A_B wrote: ↑Wed Jan 15, 2020 9:53 am Why do you never see hippopotamuses hiding in trees?

[+] spoiler
Because they're really good at it!

That's my daughter's favorite joke! That, and TT's joke about the Asian waitress.

Posted: **Fri Jan 17, 2020 3:20 pm**

Was TT's joke (and the ensuing kerfuffle) Enoch's Barbaro moment?

Posted: **Fri Jan 17, 2020 3:42 pm**

I noticed that, too. I guess so? He should come back.

Posted: **Fri Jan 17, 2020 3:44 pm**

rass wrote: ↑Fri Jan 17, 2020 3:42 pm I noticed that, too. I guess so? He should come back.

I agree.
He lurks.

Posted: **Thu Apr 02, 2020 6:23 am**

What’s the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo & Juliet?

[+] spoiler: One is a coronavirus. The other is a Verona crisis.

Posted: **Thu Apr 02, 2020 8:47 am**

Heh. That one's going straight into the Dad Joke folder to inflict on my kids.

Posted: **Thu Apr 02, 2020 8:50 am**

Me: I'm terrified of random letters...

therapist: you are?

me: (screams)

Therapist: Oh I see

Me: (screaming intensifies)

Posted: **Thu Apr 02, 2020 9:28 am**

I made a joke that drove someone out of the forum?
#CareerAccomplishments

Posted: **Tue Apr 21, 2020 11:02 am**

Don't blame me for these - friend on Facebook sent them over.

Pick up lines for use during the Covid outbreak...

Is that pneumonia in my lungs or has your smile just left me breathless?
-You Smell So Good, Is That Purell You’re Wearing?
-I’m just a boy, standing 6 feet away from a girl. Asking you to maybe move back another foot. Thanks.
-Are you an N95 mask? Cause I want you on my face.
-Cough here often?
-You can’t spell virus without U and I
I- I saw you from across the bar. Stay there.
-“I really can’t stay” / “Baby it’s COVID-19 outside”
- If COVID-19 doesn’t take you out, can I?
- Do you need toilet paper because I will be your Prince Charmin.
- Hey, I wash my hands when there’s no pandemic too
- Hey Babe! Can I ship you a drink?
- Even during the corona pandemic, the most contagious thing is still your smile.
Is it hot in here or is it just our fevers and shortness of breath?
-One-ply? Two-ply? Neither. The only thing I’m looking for is your re-ply
-Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket, or are you just happy to be within 6 feet of me?
- What if I told you I have **whispers** “60 rolls of ultra-soft toilet paper”
-Since all the public libraries are closed, I’m checking you out instead.
- Are you COVID-19 because if I had you near me I wouldn’t leave the house for two weeks straight
-That mask brings out the beauty in your eyes.
- Wanna get closer than 6 feet?
- Girl, are you down with the sickness? Because oh WAH AH AH AH
- Come on over, I’ll pay your fine if you get stopped”
- Can’t spell quarantine without u r a q t
-“We’re quarantined in the same house, your options are kind of limited.”
Hypothetically speaking, if you were a restaurant who shut down dining-in, would you let me pick you up at the curb? See you tonight?
Can I take you with me and work you from home?
I got a stimulus package that guaranteed to improve your economy.
Our love is like COVID-19. No one saw it coming and we move fast.
Hey baby, you come within 6 feet of here often?
Stay home if you sicc. Come over if you thicc.
Wanna play Coronavirus and get spread on hard surfaces?
Are you looking for a naughty boy? Because I only washed my hands for 19 seconds
Are you coming down with COVID-19? Because I want to flatten your curves.

Posted: **Sat Jul 18, 2020 8:28 pm**

Posted: **Mon May 10, 2021 11:15 am**

The Pope walks into a Muslim bar. Bartender says, "Why the wrong faith?"

The Swamp

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