David Ortiz?

Okay . . . let's try this again.

Moderators: Shirley, brian, ZMan, Sabo

HaulCitgo
The Big Lebowski
Posts: 1370
Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2013 3:07 pm

David Ortiz?

Post by HaulCitgo » Sun Jun 09, 2019 9:07 pm

?

User avatar
A_B
The Dude
Posts: 13274
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 7:36 am
Location: Getting them boards like a wolf in the chicken pen.

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by A_B » Sun Jun 09, 2019 9:10 pm

I just saw something too but only that he had been shot in a robbery. No word on condition.
Duke's working the knob! Flush it all

User avatar
L-Jam3
The Big Lebowski
Posts: 1983
Joined: Wed Mar 13, 2013 8:43 am

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by L-Jam3 » Sun Jun 09, 2019 9:14 pm

Twitter says shot in the leg. After Sean Taylor, I’ve completely changed my perception of a leg wound for a gunshot.
My avatar corresponds on my place in the Swamp posting list with the all-time Home Run list. Number 45 is Andre "The Hawk" Dawson with 438.

User avatar
A_B
The Dude
Posts: 13274
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 7:36 am
Location: Getting them boards like a wolf in the chicken pen.

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by A_B » Sun Jun 09, 2019 9:16 pm

L-Jam3 wrote:
Sun Jun 09, 2019 9:14 pm
Twitter says shot in the leg. After Sean Taylor, I’ve completely changed my perception of a leg wound for a gunshot.
Yeah that femoral artery can fuck shit up.
Duke's working the knob! Flush it all

User avatar
Rex
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 4269
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 3:10 pm

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by Rex » Sun Jun 09, 2019 9:45 pm

Yeah, that plus the general weirdness of news reports from that part of the world has me not optimistic.

User avatar
Johnnie
The Dude
Posts: 9745
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:31 pm
Location: ABQ, BITCH!
Contact:

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by Johnnie » Sun Jun 09, 2019 10:07 pm



Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.

User avatar
Johnnie
The Dude
Posts: 9745
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:31 pm
Location: ABQ, BITCH!
Contact:

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by Johnnie » Sun Jun 09, 2019 10:17 pm



Thread has security footage. But I can't make anything out.
mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.

User avatar
Johnnie
The Dude
Posts: 9745
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:31 pm
Location: ABQ, BITCH!
Contact:

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by Johnnie » Sun Jun 09, 2019 10:29 pm

Newest report is he's stable and out of surgery.
mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.

User avatar
EdRomero
Jesus Quintana
Posts: 990
Joined: Thu Jun 12, 2014 9:39 pm

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by EdRomero » Sun Jun 09, 2019 10:42 pm


User avatar
Johnnie
The Dude
Posts: 9745
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:31 pm
Location: ABQ, BITCH!
Contact:

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by Johnnie » Sun Jun 09, 2019 10:55 pm

mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.

User avatar
EnochRoot
Donny
Posts: 2387
Joined: Tue Dec 01, 2015 6:18 pm

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by EnochRoot » Mon Jun 10, 2019 5:17 am

Johnnie wrote:
Sun Jun 09, 2019 10:07 pm


Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Why didn’t the doctor share his blood type and cholesterol levels?

User avatar
EnochRoot
Donny
Posts: 2387
Joined: Tue Dec 01, 2015 6:18 pm

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by EnochRoot » Mon Jun 10, 2019 8:29 am

Ortiz is like a god in that town (the benefactor sports hero). How twisted do you have to be to shoot that guy?

User avatar
Ryan
The Dude
Posts: 6356
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:01 am

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by Ryan » Mon Jun 10, 2019 8:33 am

As opposed to the people who shoot non-gods?

User avatar
EnochRoot
Donny
Posts: 2387
Joined: Tue Dec 01, 2015 6:18 pm

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by EnochRoot » Mon Jun 10, 2019 9:17 am

Ryan wrote:
Mon Jun 10, 2019 8:33 am
As opposed to the people who shoot non-gods?
Yes, that is precisely the hair I wish to split. How not all lives are equal.

User avatar
mister d
The Dude
Posts: 15867
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:15 am

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by mister d » Mon Jun 10, 2019 9:27 am

#alllivesmatter
Rush2112 wrote:
Fri Feb 22, 2019 12:46 pm
Dude got a handjob like thousands of old dudes do every day. Big whoop.

User avatar
Ryan
The Dude
Posts: 6356
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:01 am

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by Ryan » Mon Jun 10, 2019 9:33 am

It's the levels of derangement for shooters based on their victims I thought was weird.

User avatar
degenerasian
The Dude
Posts: 8043
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 12:22 pm

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by degenerasian » Mon Jun 10, 2019 9:44 am

he's fortunate, if someone came up from behind, he could have easily been shot in the back of the head/neck/upper back/vitals
Kung Fu movies are like porn. There's 1 on 1, then 2 on 1, then a group scene..

User avatar
Rex
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 4269
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 3:10 pm

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by Rex » Mon Jun 10, 2019 9:51 am

This was really upsetting news last night, and I hope he makes a full recovery soon so I can start making jokes about how he must have been crowding the shooter's line of fire.

User avatar
The Sybian
The Dude
Posts: 10378
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:36 am
Location: Working in the Crap Part of Jersey

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by The Sybian » Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:07 am

Rex wrote:
Mon Jun 10, 2019 9:51 am
This was really upsetting news last night, and I hope he makes a full recovery soon so I can start making jokes about how he must have been crowding the shooter's line of fire.
I laughed, so the timing is right...
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt

User avatar
Ryan
The Dude
Posts: 6356
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:01 am

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by Ryan » Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:10 am

My 3rd or 4th thought was Kenan Thompson potentially having his Buckwheat moment.

User avatar
Joe K
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 3685
Joined: Sun Mar 31, 2013 4:37 pm

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by Joe K » Mon Jun 10, 2019 1:28 pm



The Daily Mail is not the most credible source but it sure did look like a targeted hit based on the surveillance video.

HaulCitgo
The Big Lebowski
Posts: 1370
Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2013 3:07 pm

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by HaulCitgo » Mon Jun 10, 2019 1:41 pm

They should have killed him. All for immediate crowd influenced justice in this one.

User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 16123
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: T-Mobile Arena

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by brian » Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:07 pm

I think if you're going to have an affair with a woman in any Latin American country, literally the first thing you should find out is your potential paramour's husband's occupation. That's just Latin Living 101 right there.

User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 16123
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: T-Mobile Arena

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by brian » Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:09 pm

I'd want to know that before any discussion about potential STDs, etc., because if her husband is a drug lord, then that relationship isn't even getting to the batter's box, much less first base or any base thereafter.

User avatar
Gunpowder
The Dude
Posts: 6211
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 7:52 am
Location: NAPES, FLURRDA
Contact:

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by Gunpowder » Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:29 pm

brian wrote:
Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:09 pm
I'd want to know that before any discussion about potential STDs, etc., because if her husband is a drug lord, then that relationship isn't even getting to the batter's box, much less first base or any base thereafter.
"Oh yeah my husband is a violent drug lord." - things women probably keep to themselves in this situation.
"Enjoyed this one," Gunpowder told the Burlington Observer. "But it's back to work tomorrow."

User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 16123
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: T-Mobile Arena

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by brian » Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:32 pm

Gunpowder wrote:
Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:29 pm
brian wrote:
Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:09 pm
I'd want to know that before any discussion about potential STDs, etc., because if her husband is a drug lord, then that relationship isn't even getting to the batter's box, much less first base or any base thereafter.
"Oh yeah my husband is a violent drug lord." - things women probably keep to themselves in this situation.
I mean, possibly sure, but I'll bet in many respects SD is a small town and it would basically be impossible to not know who her husband is (assuming the story is correct).

User avatar
The Sybian
The Dude
Posts: 10378
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:36 am
Location: Working in the Crap Part of Jersey

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by The Sybian » Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:33 pm

Gunpowder wrote:
Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:29 pm
brian wrote:
Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:09 pm
I'd want to know that before any discussion about potential STDs, etc., because if her husband is a drug lord, then that relationship isn't even getting to the batter's box, much less first base or any base thereafter.
"Oh yeah my husband is a violent drug lord." - things women probably keep to themselves in this situation.
Violent drug lords should have etiquette and mark their women with face tattoos or something so we know not to fuck with them.
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt

User avatar
Johnny Carwash
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 3873
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:57 am
Location: Land of 10,000 Sununus

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by Johnny Carwash » Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:44 pm

brian wrote:
Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:07 pm
I think if you're going to have an affair with a woman in any Latin American country, literally the first thing you should find out is your potential paramour's husband's occupation. That's just Latin Living 101 right there.
Sounds like you've been planning ahead.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!

User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 16123
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: T-Mobile Arena

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by brian » Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:49 pm

Probably just read too many Don Winslow books.

User avatar
mister d
The Dude
Posts: 15867
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:15 am

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by mister d » Mon Jun 10, 2019 3:44 pm

Feels weird that getting shot might not be the worst part of Ortiz's week.
Rush2112 wrote:
Fri Feb 22, 2019 12:46 pm
Dude got a handjob like thousands of old dudes do every day. Big whoop.

User avatar
Rex
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 4269
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 3:10 pm

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by Rex » Wed Jun 12, 2019 4:41 pm

yep, you're right



I'm not sure if he should be petrified that someone was willing to do the job for that little, or thankful that they got what they paid for.

User avatar
The Sybian
The Dude
Posts: 10378
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:36 am
Location: Working in the Crap Part of Jersey

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by The Sybian » Wed Jun 12, 2019 4:43 pm

Rex wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 4:41 pm
yep, you're right



I'm not sure if he should be petrified that someone was willing to do the job for that little, or thankful that they got what they paid for.
Why didn't they go to Ortiz and ask for $10,000 to not shot him?
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt

User avatar
sancarlos
The Dude
Posts: 10018
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:46 pm
Location: NorCal via Colorado

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by sancarlos » Wed Jun 12, 2019 11:19 pm

The Sybian wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 4:43 pm
Rex wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 4:41 pm
yep, you're right



I'm not sure if he should be petrified that someone was willing to do the job for that little, or thankful that they got what they paid for.
Why didn't they go to Ortiz and ask for $10,000 to not shot him?
The Tyrion Lannister plan
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian

HaulCitgo
The Big Lebowski
Posts: 1370
Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2013 3:07 pm

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by HaulCitgo » Thu Jun 13, 2019 9:58 am

https://www.totalprosports.com/2019/06/ ... ery-video/

And crowdsourced justice isn't so pretty. But the mistress... Something about a cat fight always ends up with tits and/or ass out.

User avatar
mister d
The Dude
Posts: 15867
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:15 am

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by mister d » Thu Jun 13, 2019 12:19 pm

Rex wrote:
Mon Jun 10, 2019 9:51 am
This was really upsetting news last night, and I hope he makes a full recovery soon so I can start making jokes about how he must have been crowding the shooter's line of fire.
You aren't beating this one from the 1st period buzzer last night ...

Rush2112 wrote:
Fri Feb 22, 2019 12:46 pm
Dude got a handjob like thousands of old dudes do every day. Big whoop.

User avatar
EnochRoot
Donny
Posts: 2387
Joined: Tue Dec 01, 2015 6:18 pm

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by EnochRoot » Thu Jun 13, 2019 6:37 pm

He’s OK so I’ll laugh and make BoSox fans laugh with me.

User avatar
Nonlinear FC
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 4568
Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 2:09 pm

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by Nonlinear FC » Mon Jun 17, 2019 1:34 pm

Gonna take a bit of tangential path here:

I used to work at a nonprofit, where we'd partner with local NGOs in pretty rough parts of the world. India, a number of places in Africa, Guatemala, etc. etc. and so on.

About 6 or so years ago, a neighbor "friend" was raving to us about this lovely resort in Punta Cana. I wasn't familiar so I asked where that was and she said the Dominican Republic. I couldn't really hide my surprise, because we had a number of partners in the DR and that place is fucking ROUGH. It is easily in the top 10 percent of countries in terms of gun violence and robberies at gun point are common in certain areas.

I mean, I get that you can hole up in a tourist area far from Santo Domingo. But I think there are thousands of Americans that go down there thinking it's like the Bahamas... I know my neighbor friend had literally no clue how violent it is down there. I wasn't gonna be the guy to tell her, because it felt dickish.
You can lead a horse to fish, but you can't fish out a horse.

User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 16123
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: T-Mobile Arena

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by brian » Mon Jun 17, 2019 1:41 pm

Nonlinear FC wrote:
Mon Jun 17, 2019 1:34 pm
Gonna take a bit of tangential path here:

I used to work at a nonprofit, where we'd partner with local NGOs in pretty rough parts of the world. India, a number of places in Africa, Guatemala, etc. etc. and so on.

About 6 or so years ago, a neighbor "friend" was raving to us about this lovely resort in Punta Cana. I wasn't familiar so I asked where that was and she said the Dominican Republic. I couldn't really hide my surprise, because we had a number of partners in the DR and that place is fucking ROUGH. It is easily in the top 10 percent of countries in terms of gun violence and robberies at gun point are common in certain areas.

I mean, I get that you can hole up in a tourist area far from Santo Domingo. But I think there are thousands of Americans that go down there thinking it's like the Bahamas... I know my neighbor friend had literally no clue how violent it is down there. I wasn't gonna be the guy to tell her, because it felt dickish.
Punta Cana is to Santo Domingo as the Hamptons is to the Bronx. I mean, there's not really any comparison. I get what you're trying to say, but I doubt any Americans traveling to Santo Domingo are so stupid as to think that it's safe because Punta Cana is safe.

User avatar
Nonlinear FC
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 4568
Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 2:09 pm

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by Nonlinear FC » Mon Jun 17, 2019 3:21 pm

brian wrote:
Mon Jun 17, 2019 1:41 pm
Nonlinear FC wrote:
Mon Jun 17, 2019 1:34 pm
Gonna take a bit of tangential path here:

I used to work at a nonprofit, where we'd partner with local NGOs in pretty rough parts of the world. India, a number of places in Africa, Guatemala, etc. etc. and so on.

About 6 or so years ago, a neighbor "friend" was raving to us about this lovely resort in Punta Cana. I wasn't familiar so I asked where that was and she said the Dominican Republic. I couldn't really hide my surprise, because we had a number of partners in the DR and that place is fucking ROUGH. It is easily in the top 10 percent of countries in terms of gun violence and robberies at gun point are common in certain areas.

I mean, I get that you can hole up in a tourist area far from Santo Domingo. But I think there are thousands of Americans that go down there thinking it's like the Bahamas... I know my neighbor friend had literally no clue how violent it is down there. I wasn't gonna be the guy to tell her, because it felt dickish.
Punta Cana is to Santo Domingo as the Hamptons is to the Bronx. I mean, there's not really any comparison. I get what you're trying to say, but I doubt any Americans traveling to Santo Domingo are so stupid as to think that it's safe because Punta Cana is safe.
You don't know some of my friends, DTW-VGK. I'm saying there are definitely Americans that only know the DR through the lens of Punta Cana. I can absolutely put you in touch with about a dozen people that are either in denial or were straight up ignorant to how violent that island is in relation to other parts of the Caribbean.

I'm not saying ALL (I know you know and are aware of the world at large, for example), but I'm telling you there are people that started going down there without doing a lot of research. There's a reason that destination is relatively inexpensive.

A neighborhood friend's daughter is getting married next year and choose to do a destination wedding down there. This was, literally, the week before all the random deaths started popping up. Sucks for them, truly.
You can lead a horse to fish, but you can't fish out a horse.

User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 16123
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: T-Mobile Arena

Re: David Ortiz?

Post by brian » Mon Jun 17, 2019 3:53 pm

I believe you and yet I find it hard to believe if that makes sense. (I know you're not lying or exaggerating and yet I can't believe people are that stupid.)

Post Reply