The Swamp

Square Rob wrote:I would totally punch a baby in the mouth for a Klondike bar right now.

I don't have a baby, but I know where to get one.

Broken condom last night. I feel betrayed.

rass wrote:Broken condom last night. I feel betrayed.

I was walking into CVS the other day and saw a a sign (single sheet of paper with, typed in 9 or 10 font) with 5 or 6 items recalled. One of them being a specific model of condoms. What a horrible product to have a recall on. The worst, right? Be it pregnancy or STD. Imagine going through life raising a kid who was the result of a condom recall. How often, in moments of anger, does that thought run through your head?

rass wrote:Broken condom last night. I feel betrayed.

Scissors marks?

rass wrote:Broken condom last night. I feel betrayed.

This depends, quite so, on what you were doing with said condom.

A balloon blowing contest? Not a big deal. It goes *pop* but smart balloon blowing contest contestants wear protective glasses (let's hope such eyewear, too, was not defective).

Vaginal sex? That could be an issue. Unplanned pregnancies are a minor annoyance (for a male) as abortions are cheap, you remain emotionally unaffected, but you still have the hassle of driving the female to a clinic and waiting around quietly hoping the place doesn't get bombed.

Anal sex? This opens up a deeper crevasse of issues. For instance . . . was it you wearing the condom? Or your anal sex partner? While your chances of intaking bodily fluids that may contain your death sentence have drastically increased, the upside is that, it is said, bareback simply feels better.

Scottie wrote:Unplanned pregnancies are a minor annoyance (for a male) as abortions are cheap, you remain emotionally unaffected, but you still have the hassle of driving the female to a clinic and waiting around quietly hoping the place doesn't get bombed.

The visual of this made me giggle.

heh heh, heh heh, heheheh. he said "crevasse"

howard wrote:heh heh, heh heh, heheheh. he said "crevasse"

Hey, man. Appropriate words are my style. Like . . . onomatopoeia.

Scottie wrote:

rass wrote:Broken condom last night. I feel betrayed.

This depends, quite so, on what you were doing with said condom.

A balloon blowing contest? Not a big deal. It goes *pop* but smart balloon blowing contest contestants wear protective glasses (let's hope such eyewear, too, was not defective).

I spent part of this afternoon blowing up balloons with the kids. They were meant to be water balloons, and a lot of them popped. The similarity never crossed my mind.


I need to just nut up and get a vasectomy, but every time I read about them, even the "they aren't so bad stories, I get scared off. Ugh.

Scottie wrote:

rass wrote:Broken condom last night. I feel betrayed.

A balloon blowing contest? Not a big deal. It goes *pop* but smart balloon blowing contest contestants wear protective glasses (let's hope such eyewear, too, was not defective).

i love how selma is looking at rass's statement in rass's post above.

eta: wrong name

I don't get today's xkcd at all.

So the Simpsons really do live in Oregon? Did I miss that?

Jerloma wrote:I don't get today's xkcd at all.

http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.p ... =Main_Page" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

cerrano wrote:

Scottie wrote:

rass wrote:Broken condom last night. I feel betrayed.

A balloon blowing contest? Not a big deal. It goes *pop* but smart balloon blowing contest contestants wear protective glasses (let's hope such eyewear, too, was not defective).

i love how selma is looking at rass's statement in rass's post above.

eta: wrong name

You may want to keep editing. It's Salma.

Jerloma wrote:I don't get today's xkcd at all.

Just to show how much bigger NYC's is than all the rest?

Jerloma wrote:I don't get today's xkcd at all.

The subway one? Yeah, that one didn't do it for me.

testy boxcar wrote:

Jerloma wrote:I don't get today's xkcd at all.

http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.p ... =Main_Page" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

That is fantastic. No idea that existed. Thanks.

Its a fake, they don't all connect.

mister d wrote:Its a fake, they don't all connect.

It would be kind of cool if you could take the L from O'Hare to Oakland in only six or seven stops, though.

I knew it was fake. I just didn't know why it was funny.

Steve of phpBB wrote:

mister d wrote:Its a fake, they don't all connect.

It would be kind of cool if you could take the L from O'Hare to Oakland in only six or seven stops, though.

You sure about that? Ever been to Oakland?

brian wrote:

Steve of phpBB wrote:

mister d wrote:Its a fake, they don't all connect.

It would be kind of cool if you could take the L from O'Hare to Oakland in only six or seven stops, though.

You sure about that? Ever been to Oakland?

Heh.

(But yes, I lived right down the street from Oakland for three years.)

mister d wrote:

brian wrote:

Steve of phpBB wrote:It would be kind of cool if you could take the L from O'Hare to Oakland in only six or seven stops, though.

You sure about that? Ever been to Oakland?

[rushes to find the irony thread]

clap clap

Because of their avatars, I'm getting ZMan & Jerloma confused, still.

And I have no idea who Square Rob is.

Johnnie wrote:Because of their avatars, I'm getting ZMan & Jerloma confused, still.

And I have no idea who Square Rob is.

aka Bobby FiveSides

sancarlos wrote: clap clap

Mr. D is apparently as bad at reading comprehension as he is at humor.

If I would have said all Oaklanders were poor and dirty, then there would have been an equivalence. I can laugh at a good joke at Detroit's expense as referenced in the thread regarding the changes to the bullpen phones in MLB. Mr. D is incapable of making a good or clever joke though.

brian wrote:

Johnnie wrote:Because of their avatars, I'm getting ZMan & Jerloma confused, still.

And I have no idea who Square Rob is.

aka Bobby FiveSides

Ohhh. Gotcha. Thanks.

rass wrote:

Scottie wrote:

rass wrote:Broken condom last night. I feel betrayed.

This depends, quite so, on what you were doing with said condom.

A balloon blowing contest? Not a big deal. It goes *pop* but smart balloon blowing contest contestants wear protective glasses (let's hope such eyewear, too, was not defective).

I spent part of this afternoon blowing up balloons with the kids. They were meant to be water balloons, and a lot of them popped. The similarity never crossed my mind.


I need to just nut up and get a vasectomy, but every time I read about them, even the "they aren't so bad stories, I get scared off. Ugh.

This is going to a fun week or two (and hopefully no more than that). At least I'll get to work on my Lando impression. In fact...

rass wrote:I need to just nut up and get a vasectomy

Hi guys! Just checking in.

Welp, see ya later!

kranepool wrote:

rass wrote:I need to just nut up and get a vasectomy

Hi guys! Just checking in.

Welp, see ya later!

To be honest, the story of your giant eggplant testicle (I think that was you, right) hasn't helped.

Johnnie wrote:Because of their avatars, I'm getting ZMan & Jerloma confused, still.

It's all part of our master plan.

Jerloma wrote:I don't get today's xkcd at all.

You need to work on your linking. You linked to "most recent" xkcd, and not "April 8th's" xkcd. So I'm trying to decipher "Adobe update" xkcd, instead of "supersubway map" xkcd.


And you want to forge master plans with me.....

rass wrote:

kranepool wrote:

rass wrote:I need to just nut up and get a vasectomy

Hi guys! Just checking in.

Welp, see ya later!

To be honest, the story of your giant eggplant testicle (I think that was you, right) hasn't helped.

I've seen the picture (while eating kabobs), I can still hear the screaming.

I've made and canceled 3 snip appointments.

My son was asked by a male adult assistant in his class today if he "liked black chicks or white chicks". He said he didn't answer and then walked away. The guy asked him again. Let's see if Mr. $7/hour needs to find some new work next week.

It's all fun and games til you figure out they have been breeding new varieties of hens.

He obviously didn't answer because he likes Asians.

brian wrote:He obviously didn't answer because he likes Asians.

Like his old man! That's what I would have done differently in college.

AB_skin_test wrote:It's all fun and games til you figure out they have been breeding new varieties of hens.

Well done.