Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines! What a great place it’s a great place to start!

[The Sybian]

Not so fun fun fact you may not know. Overseas military installations have slot machines on them. They're at base clubs and other areas.

And apparently, they earn $100 million a year from service members overseas

Those Tomahawk missiles don't pay for themselves.

[wlu_lax6]

Not so fun fun fact you may not know. Overseas military installations have slot machines on them. They're at base clubs and other areas.

And apparently, they earn $100 million a year from service members overseas

Those Tomahawk missiles don't pay for themselves.

Not new...
https://www.kiplinger.com/article/inves ... scams.html

[Johnnie]

Looks like the AF got in a bit of hot water this week because the Chief Master Sergeant is the Air Force's Facebook page was censoring people which is a no-no for government-based social media accounts.

Shut Up, the U.S. Air Force Explained

She isn't as beloved as the previous Chief (Chief-retired Kaleth Wright who was actually on ESPN that one time) and is on social media a little too much while being a bit cringey (see the 'Bass or Bass' nonsense) but latent sexism from angry white men in a post-Trump world is still a thing, so she gets shit from losers online like this retired pilot.

[A_B]

[Johnnie]

Flying crabs is more of a Fort Bragg thing.

[sancarlos]

Johnnie, I don't know if you subscribe to Defector, so in case you do not, I am posting this for your amusement. It is from Drew Magary's jambaroo column today.

Reader Barry sends in this story I call TOP DUMP:

When I was enlisted in the Air Force a few years ago, I was testing to become a staff sergeant. For readers who don’t know, if you want to be promoted to any of the sergeant ranks, not only are you evaluated on your job performance and time in service, you need to pass a test. Since this was my first time testing, I spent months studying the material so I could pass and become that hip young sergeant who was going to make a difference for his troops. The test was on a Tuesday morning at 0800 and was broken down into two parts, each part 100 questions long. Since I’d studied so much, I flew through the first part of the test, feeling confident that I was going to be promoted. Since I had time to spare, I decided to go grab breakfast before having to come back for the second half. I stop at the Burger King on base not far from the testing center and order some greasy breakfast sandwich, hash browns and a drink. I inhale the food and head back for part two.

The first indication that something was wrong was about five minutes before we were to resume. I started to feel some bubbling in my stomach, but thought it was maybe just nerves. Part two of the test starts, and away I go. One thing I forgot to mention is that once the test starts, you can’t leave the room and come back, so to avoid any cheating during the test. At question 24, my stomach begins making sounds reserved for whales during mating season. I try to focus on the test, hoping the feeling in my stomach will subside long enough to let me finish. But by question 50-something, my stomach is at DEFCON 5. My face is covered in sweat, I am trying everything to keep from shitting myself so I can finish this test and leave. By this point, I am half-reading the questions and just filling what I think is the best answer. I remember at one point looking out the door and seeing the latrine across the hall, taunting me. Finally, by question 70, I couldn’t take it anymore. I randomly filled in multiple choice answers for the last 30 questions, quickly handed in the test, and waddled out the room to the latrine. I felt like I lost five lbs. in there, but I was just happy to make it to the toilet.

Fast forward to a few weeks later, when the results of the promotion testing is released. Unsurprisingly, I didn’t make the cutoff for promotion, and would have to study and re-test again the next year. Out of curiosity, I looked to see how much I missed the cutoff by, and it was by four points. Screw you, Burger King.

EDT: Defector, not Deadspin!

[Steve of phpBB]

Johnnie, I don't know if you subscribe to Deadspin, so in case you do not, I am posting this for your amusement. It is from Drew Magary's jambaroo column today.

Reader Barry sends in this story I call TOP DUMP:

When I was enlisted in the Air Force a few years ago, I was testing to become a staff sergeant. For readers who don’t know, if you want to be promoted to any of the sergeant ranks, not only are you evaluated on your job performance and time in service, you need to pass a test. Since this was my first time testing, I spent months studying the material so I could pass and become that hip young sergeant who was going to make a difference for his troops. The test was on a Tuesday morning at 0800 and was broken down into two parts, each part 100 questions long. Since I’d studied so much, I flew through the first part of the test, feeling confident that I was going to be promoted. Since I had time to spare, I decided to go grab breakfast before having to come back for the second half. I stop at the Burger King on base not far from the testing center and order some greasy breakfast sandwich, hash browns and a drink. I inhale the food and head back for part two.

The first indication that something was wrong was about five minutes before we were to resume. I started to feel some bubbling in my stomach, but thought it was maybe just nerves. Part two of the test starts, and away I go. One thing I forgot to mention is that once the test starts, you can’t leave the room and come back, so to avoid any cheating during the test. At question 24, my stomach begins making sounds reserved for whales during mating season. I try to focus on the test, hoping the feeling in my stomach will subside long enough to let me finish. But by question 50-something, my stomach is at DEFCON 5. My face is covered in sweat, I am trying everything to keep from shitting myself so I can finish this test and leave. By this point, I am half-reading the questions and just filling what I think is the best answer. I remember at one point looking out the door and seeing the latrine across the hall, taunting me. Finally, by question 70, I couldn’t take it anymore. I randomly filled in multiple choice answers for the last 30 questions, quickly handed in the test, and waddled out the room to the latrine. I felt like I lost five lbs. in there, but I was just happy to make it to the toilet.

Fast forward to a few weeks later, when the results of the promotion testing is released. Unsurprisingly, I didn’t make the cutoff for promotion, and would have to study and re-test again the next year. Out of curiosity, I looked to see how much I missed the cutoff by, and it was by four points. Screw you, Burger King.

Hm. The fact that he thinks DEFCON 5 is the bad end of the scale may explain something here.

[Johnnie]

Hm. The fact that he thinks DEFCON 5 is the bad end of the scale may explain something here.

He should have studied harder.

That aside, he's completely on the money when it comes to testing for rank.

You don't get a do over. The tests are controlled to a ridiculous degree. You can't even study with peers because it constitutes "test compromise." The test doesn't change much from year to year, so conceivably saying that you saw something on last year's test means it could be on this one.

I've heard the horror stories about even making it to the testing room. People that are late by minutes have to make the walk of shame to their First Sergeant to say they missed testing. Paperwork typically follows.

Some military bases are next to train tracks and, oh darn, the train took so long you couldn't get on base in time. Better luck next year.

One guy I knew was running down the hallway seeing the door closing and he put his hand out, grabbed the door, but got it slammed as it was closing. So he made it on time...but had to test with a fractured bone in his hand for the 3-4 hours the test goes for.

As for the test itself, it's designed for you to fail. It's 2 100 question tests, all multiple choice. One test on military history, culture, rules, etc.. The other on stuff in your career field. The questions are intentionally meant to confuse you. It isn't enough to study the material, you need to know the tiniest details.

And the worst part? You don't get to know what you got wrong when results come back. You just have to accept that you didn't make it.

Oh, and if you score to high, you could be investigated because you aren't supposed to.

So getting bubbleguts from BK and missing making it by 4 points? Definitely plausible and absolutely likely.

I'm so glad my future job isn't dependent on such a fuckawful promotion system. I could rant all day about it.

[Johnnie]

The Space Force has a new official jingle. It's not too bad.

https://www.dvidshub.net/video/857934/u ... icial-song

[sancarlos]

So, if you join the Space Force, what do you spend your time doing?

[Johnnie]

I haven't looked into it much, but satellite and missile defense stuff, Intel, and communications.

It actually looks kinda cool.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_ ... pace_Force

[Johnnie]

These 75th anniversary posters for the AF are pretty fucking cool.

[Johnnie]

The Chief Master Sergeant of the Space Force can sing decently well.

[Johnny Carwash]

The Space Force has a new official jingle. It's not too bad.

https://www.dvidshub.net/video/857934/u ... icial-song

That's Yellow Submarine, sort of?

[Johnnie]

[Johnnie]

I'm not surprised by this.

You can also look into the cushy 'advisor' gigs they get for defense contractors too.

[Steve of phpBB]

I'm not surprised by this.

You can also look into the cushy 'advisor' gigs they get for defense contractors too.

Are they also advising the Chinese Air Force, or is that just Brits doing that?

[Johnnie]

Not sure. I wonder if the investigation looked into that.

[The Sybian]

Not sure. I wonder if the investigation looked into that.

I wonder if it looked into Presidential advisors with no financial management experience getting $2 Billion dollars from the Saudi government to invest.

[Johnnie]

One of the recurring mini-arguments my wife, friend, and I get into every once in a while is how the civilian and military workforce are 'similar' (to them, not me) with shitty "work" things. They currently work at Raytheon.

I'll say something like "It really sucked to have to stay late at work when you aren't getting overtime and you don't know when you can leave. Impromptu 12-14 hour shifts are awful."

And I'll get the "Well it's like that in the civilian sector too! We can only bank so much PTO and overtime isn't authorized unless..." And my eyes glaze over because I cannot effectively communicate the culture of the military that's intertwined with such a shitty work existence.

So, I say that to say, commanders have too much broad authority and could, comparatively, be worse than so many civilian bosses. Like this Army one: Commander Bans Army-Issued Warm, Comfy Fleece Jacket As Winter Approaches

It's going to be cold on a field exercise in Korea at this time of year. And there's no HR to complain to for such a fucking idiotic decision, but the entire battalion now has to suffer because of this commander's preference in outerwear. That's roughly 300-1,000 people.

This happens in the AF too. So glad I'm retired.

[The Sybian]

One of the recurring mini-arguments my wife, friend, and I get into every once in a while is how the civilian and military workforce are 'similar' (to them, not me) with shitty "work" things. They currently work at Raytheon.

I'll say something like "It really sucked to have to stay late at work when you aren't getting overtime and you don't know when you can leave. Impromptu 12-14 hour shifts are awful."

And I'll get the "Well it's like that in the civilian sector too! We can only bank so much PTO and overtime isn't authorized unless..." And my eyes glaze over because I cannot effectively communicate the culture of the military that's intertwined with such a shitty work existence.

So, I say that to say, commanders have too much broad authority and could, comparatively, be worse than so many civilian bosses. Like this Army one: Commander Bans Army-Issued Warm, Comfy Fleece Jacket As Winter Approaches

It's going to be cold on a field exercise in Korea at this time of year. And there's no HR to complain to for such a fucking idiotic decision, but the entire battalion now has to suffer because of this commander's preference in outerwear. That's roughly 300-1,000 people.

This happens in the AF too. So glad I'm retired.

I'm sure there are more weird requirements in the military, but there is a lot of bullshit in the private sector, too. Every job I've ever had required me to work late nights or weekends on little or no notice and I've never had a job that paid overtime. I've also had a lot of weird rules or requirements. It might be better out here, but there is still lots of bullshit in the civilian world, all depends on your manager and the company you work for. The law firm I worked at while my wife was pregnant and the first year of my son's life was the worst. The partner I primarily worked with was a bit scattered or overwhelmed, and would constantly run up against litigation deadlines. I'd be walking out the door at the end of the day and he'd came running after me screaming that a brief or motion is due tomorrow and he needed my help. My wife would call or text every 30 minutes for an update, and sometimes we'd be there until 2:00 am.

[mister d]

Thank you for your private sector service, Syb.

[The Sybian]

Thank you for your private sector service, Syb.

Hey man, I served 5 years at Homeland Security! Where’s my thank you and free burrito?

[Johnnie]

Oh Syb, absolutely. I'm not saying that all private sector jobs are cake compared to the military. Cop, firefighter, EMT, ER doctor, lawyer...etc all have their absolute low points. Once I learned just how much of losing your own mind went into being a lawyer, I noped out of that potential profession quick.

And shit, even within the AF there's a hierarchy of 'hard' and 'not hard' jobs. But since the rank structure determines pay, an E-5 makes the same base pay regardless.

I just find it funny that my wife got the full 'military experience' in the 6 years we've been together (short notice deployment, non volunteer assignment, move from base to base) and doesn't see where I'm coming from sometimes. It's tough to convey just how much of a peon you are as an enlisted person. Like, her boss cannot dictate whether or not she can wear a jacket when she's cold. Mine could. It's the little things like that that drive you crazy.

[sancarlos]

Just one quibble, Johnnie. Corporate HR is not there to support or advocate for you as an employee. They are there to enforce corporate policies and protect the company legally.

[A_B]

Just one quibble, Johnnie. Corporate HR is not there to support or advocate for you as an employee. They are there to enforce corporate policies and protect the company legally.

OK, Toby.

[Steve of phpBB]

The partner I primarily worked with was a bit scattered or overwhelmed, and would constantly run up against litigation deadlines. I'd be walking out the door at the end of the day and he'd came running after me screaming that a brief or motion is due tomorrow and he needed my help. My wife would call or text every 30 minutes for an update, and sometimes we'd be there until 2:00 am.

Well, shit, Syb. Now I feel guilty.

[The Sybian]

The partner I primarily worked with was a bit scattered or overwhelmed, and would constantly run up against litigation deadlines. I'd be walking out the door at the end of the day and he'd came running after me screaming that a brief or motion is due tomorrow and he needed my help. My wife would call or text every 30 minutes for an update, and sometimes we'd be there until 2:00 am.

Well, shit, Syb. Now I feel guilty.

A simple "thank you" would have been nice.

[Steve of phpBB]

The partner I primarily worked with was a bit scattered or overwhelmed, and would constantly run up against litigation deadlines. I'd be walking out the door at the end of the day and he'd came running after me screaming that a brief or motion is due tomorrow and he needed my help. My wife would call or text every 30 minutes for an update, and sometimes we'd be there until 2:00 am.

Well, shit, Syb. Now I feel guilty.

A simple "thank you" would have been nice.

You got your paycheck, didn't you?

[The Sybian]

The partner I primarily worked with was a bit scattered or overwhelmed, and would constantly run up against litigation deadlines. I'd be walking out the door at the end of the day and he'd came running after me screaming that a brief or motion is due tomorrow and he needed my help. My wife would call or text every 30 minutes for an update, and sometimes we'd be there until 2:00 am.

Well, shit, Syb. Now I feel guilty.

A simple "thank you" would have been nice.

You got your paycheck, didn't you?

Yup, wasn't worth dealing with the partner's lack of organizational skills. Great guy otherwise and a really good lawyer, just would have been nice to have a heads up on major motion deadlines.

[Steve of phpBB]

The partner I primarily worked with was a bit scattered or overwhelmed, and would constantly run up against litigation deadlines. I'd be walking out the door at the end of the day and he'd came running after me screaming that a brief or motion is due tomorrow and he needed my help. My wife would call or text every 30 minutes for an update, and sometimes we'd be there until 2:00 am.

Well, shit, Syb. Now I feel guilty.

A simple "thank you" would have been nice.

You got your paycheck, didn't you?

Yup, wasn't worth dealing with the partner's lack of organizational skills. Great guy otherwise and a really good lawyer, just would have been nice to have a heads up on major motion deadlines.

The funny thing is, because my organizational skills suck, I rely on my associates to keep up on deadlines for me.

[Johnnie]

You got your paycheck, didn't you?

That just triggered me. Lol. At my first base as a lowly lower enlisted around the crusty old guys I was lamenting just how much manual labor and being sent to do other people's jobs was necessary each day and my boss held up a hand (like he was telling me to stop) and straight said, "Let me know when you don't get paid."

[Johnnie]

Lol.

[Steve of phpBB]

[Johnnie]

Now that's fucking awesome.

[sancarlos]

[Johnnie]

He's a Renaissance Man.

And that shit is hilarious.

[wlu_lax6]

Johnnie,
My wife was just fixing the Airman Magazine online site.

[Johnnie]

Johnnie,
My wife was just fixing the Airman Magazine online site.

Did she just spam it with pictures of me to fix it? j/k

Speaking of broken Air Force website stuff, they had to scrap an entire website for yearly evaluations because it wasn't working at all. They had to go back to the old way of doing it forcing everyone with an eval due to switch formats and re-write everything, nearly from scratch.

If I was still in, I would've been affected by it. So glad I'm done with that bullshit.

[Johnnie]

Oh shit....