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The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2021 7:33 pm
by EdRomero

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2021 8:03 pm
by govmentchedda
Oh fuck off

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2021 8:07 pm
by Johnny Carwash
If you live in New England and aren't drinking an above-ground pool's worth of this each year, you're doing it wrong:

Image

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2021 8:33 pm
by Johnnie
Did a big discussion board for my marketing class on alcoholic seltzer drinks. White Claw and Truly nailed the market on this early. And now it's so supersaturated with brands that junk like this has to be tried to remain relevant.

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2021 8:40 pm
by brian
I don’t know how wide they distribute it but they do out to Vegas, so….by far the best seltzer I’ve had is the Founders Mas Agave.

amomg the mass produced it goes like this for me:

Michelob Ultra (surprisingly good!)
White Claw (most flavors)
Bon & Viv
Truly
..,
10 tons of dogshit
Coors Light Seltzer
….
More dogshit
Bud Light Seltzer

Oh and I had the Natty Light Seltzer one at the actual A/B brewery and it wasn’t too bad surprisingly but that could have been from freshness.

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2021 8:40 pm
by Ryan
1. Polar
2. Good n Gather (Target)
3. Waterloo
4. Trader Joe’s
5. Getting chopped into bits by fan blades
6. La Croix

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2021 8:43 pm
by EdRomero
My brewery founder friend was telling me that it's not only ridiculously popular, but it's very easy and fast to make, so everyone is trying to jump into the game.

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2021 9:03 pm
by govmentchedda
Topo Chico here. Prefer the unflavored, but the "hint of" ones will do as well.

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2021 9:12 pm
by Johnny Carwash
Ryan wrote: Sat Oct 09, 2021 8:40 pm 1. Polar
2. Good n Gather (Target)
3. Waterloo
4. Trader Joe’s
5. Getting chopped into bits by fan blades
6. La Croix
I think I tried La Croix once and didn't get the appeal at all. It tasted like the liquid state of Jello before it coagulates. The appeal of seltzer for me is that it's just slightly more than drinking plain water while being much "lighter" than soda.

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2021 9:28 pm
by HaulCitgo
Johnny ain't lying. I've put flats of that stuff in the trunk on the way back south.

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2021 10:12 pm
by P.D.X.
I never saw La Croix until I moved to Colorado and then I was in a meeting and asked for a 'la kwah' and everyone looked at me like I was nuts.

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2021 10:29 pm
by Rush2112
Johnny Carwash wrote: Sat Oct 09, 2021 8:07 pm If you live in New England and aren't drinking an above-ground pool's worth of this each year, you're doing it wrong:

Image
Besides friends and family, the thing I miss most about not living in NE is their Orange Dry and Birch Beer.

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2021 10:32 pm
by Rush2112
I'm not much of a fan, but the best I've had was a ginger one that we had in Hawai'i (tasted like a light ginger beer.) I also like Upslope's (Boulder brewery) they have a hopped one that's like a super light pale.

My wife is a big fan of the Kirkland branded ones, no idea who actually makes them.

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Sun Oct 10, 2021 4:05 pm
by Nonlinear FC
My favorite brand is from St. John Brewery in the USVI... awesome island flavors like Hibiscus and shit like that.

Truly has a subset that is Tropical flavors, so that kind of works as a substitute for me. I like hard seltzers when I'm day drinking or trying to keep my wits about me (DnD nights, for example.)

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Sun Oct 10, 2021 4:20 pm
by bapo!
The closest beer store is pretty small, so there's not a huge selection. I was disappointed when I went there earlier this summer, and one of the few aisles devoted to craft was given to seltzer. But I went back last week, and that insanity seems to be over.

I've never had a seltzer, but that might change soon. I usually grab a few outdated beers from Closest Beer Store's dollar rack. Picked up some Platform beers this time. And? Four Loko Seltzer! Yeah, I'm going to regret this. Or, more likely, I'll just hide them in the back of my fridge for a few months and forget about them.

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Sun Oct 10, 2021 6:25 pm
by govmentchedda
Alcoholic seltzers do the same job that macro light beers do.

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2021 7:03 am
by Pruitt
Nephew of a good friend of mine started a hard seltzer company just a few years ago. It did well enough that he and is partner sold it last year for somewhere around $50 million.

Not bad for a kid in his late 20s.

https://www.cottagesprings.ca/

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2021 7:38 am
by rass
Look at Romero getting this thread in just before SNL officially made it cliche:



I haven't exhaustedly sampled, but I've settled on Spindrift (thanks Swamp) for regular seltzer and High Noon for alcoholic.

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2021 7:53 am
by mister d
Ryan wrote: Sat Oct 09, 2021 8:40 pm5. Getting chopped into bits by fan blades
6. La Croix
This part is definitely right. La Croix is horribly sweet / fake tasting.

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2021 9:28 am
by Brontoburglar
spindrift ftw

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2021 9:45 am
by mister d
Also yes on this one, although I can't find the cucumber flavor anywhere around me. And their design/colors work well for someone who really like things to be uniform.

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2021 10:09 am
by Giff
The maple one was the only undrinkable one tbh.

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2021 2:54 pm
by blundercrush
I haven't found a seltzer water I've liked. High Noon Seltzer alcohol though is the fizz. It's made with vodka instead of malt so there is more room for sugar/flavoring. Watermelon is solid.

Image

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2021 4:52 pm
by Shirley
Never had a hard seltzer. I've tried La Croix a few times and thought it was awful. It's only slightly better than sparkling water which is also awful.

Is hard seltzer better than the non-alcoholic? If not, I don't get why it's blown up so much.

Also, I assume the various beer company seltzers are actually just seltzer, right? They aren't some weird beer variant?

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2021 4:58 pm
by P.D.X.
If 'seltzer' was punnier there would be a lot of wood signs.

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2021 6:21 pm
by sancarlos
Shirley wrote: Mon Oct 11, 2021 4:52 pm Never had a hard seltzer.
My daughter had some Truly seltzer in the house when she was here in the summer, so I tried it.

Not a fan.

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Tue Oct 12, 2021 1:37 pm
by The Sybian
Funny timing on this thread, as I tried my first taste, a sip off my wife's hard seltzers. One of the fathers on my daughter's soccer team is Life of the Party Guy. Tournament in VA this weekend. He kept his hotel room door open and had at least 10 cases of various beer and hard seltzers. Any time anyone on the team walked past, he'd yell out to see if they wanted a beer. His wife made him get a White Claw and later "the good stuff." Can't even remember the name of the brand, but it was a sickly sweet watermelon drink. White Claw was ok, but super dangerous for kids because it just doesn't taste like alcohol at all. The watermelon one was much more flavorful. I could see someone liking it, but more like a KoolAid type taste.

For the non-alcoholic side, I started drinking seltzer and almost entirely gave up soda. Just don't like it anymore, but on rare occasion get an urge for a soda.

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Tue Oct 12, 2021 1:46 pm
by GoodKarma
The Sybian wrote: Tue Oct 12, 2021 1:37 pm Funny timing on this thread, as I tried my first taste, a sip off my wife's hard seltzers. One of the fathers on my daughter's soccer team is Life of the Party Guy. Tournament in VA this weekend. He kept his hotel room door open and had at least 10 cases of various beer and hard seltzers. Any time anyone on the team walked past, he'd yell out to see if they wanted a beer. His wife made him get a White Claw and later "the good stuff." Can't even remember the name of the brand, but it was a sickly sweet watermelon drink. White Claw was ok, but super dangerous for kids because it just doesn't taste like alcohol at all. The watermelon one was much more flavorful. I could see someone liking it, but more like a KoolAid type taste.

For the non-alcoholic side, I started drinking seltzer and almost entirely gave up soda. Just don't like it anymore, but on rare occasion get an urge for a soda.
For non-alcohol I've started drinking hop tea and hop water...I think it's great and is good to drink when you want to drink beer but don't want to drink beer.

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Tue Oct 12, 2021 2:11 pm
by Brontoburglar
Shirley wrote: Mon Oct 11, 2021 4:52 pm Never had a hard seltzer. I've tried La Croix a few times and thought it was awful. It's only slightly better than sparkling water which is also awful.

Is hard seltzer better than the non-alcoholic? If not, I don't get why it's blown up so much.

Also, I assume the various beer company seltzers are actually just seltzer, right? They aren't some weird beer variant?
they took off (in part) because they're the cheap way around the hard liquor rules/tax that a vodka tonic would be subject to

though that was written two years ago by the same guy who wrote this year that grilling is bad, so

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Tue Oct 12, 2021 2:22 pm
by The Sybian
GoodKarma wrote: Tue Oct 12, 2021 1:46 pm
The Sybian wrote: Tue Oct 12, 2021 1:37 pm Funny timing on this thread, as I tried my first taste, a sip off my wife's hard seltzers. One of the fathers on my daughter's soccer team is Life of the Party Guy. Tournament in VA this weekend. He kept his hotel room door open and had at least 10 cases of various beer and hard seltzers. Any time anyone on the team walked past, he'd yell out to see if they wanted a beer. His wife made him get a White Claw and later "the good stuff." Can't even remember the name of the brand, but it was a sickly sweet watermelon drink. White Claw was ok, but super dangerous for kids because it just doesn't taste like alcohol at all. The watermelon one was much more flavorful. I could see someone liking it, but more like a KoolAid type taste.

For the non-alcoholic side, I started drinking seltzer and almost entirely gave up soda. Just don't like it anymore, but on rare occasion get an urge for a soda.
For non-alcohol I've started drinking hop tea and hop water...I think it's great and is good to drink when you want to drink beer but don't want to drink beer.
I've seen ads for Hop Tea on FB, but never tried it. Sounds interesting and I definitely will try one if I ever see it somewhere.

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2022 1:25 pm
by mister d
Oh fuck the new blood orange + tangerine Spindrift is A+.

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2022 1:35 pm
by rass
Really like the pineapple.

govmentchedda wrote: Sat Oct 09, 2021 9:03 pm Topo Chico here. Prefer the unflavored, but the "hint of" ones will do as well.
Saw this earlier:

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2022 2:16 pm
by govmentchedda
Must be what makes it taste so good. #cantstopwontstop

Re: The Official Mass Produced Seltzer Thread

Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2022 2:20 pm
by mister d
govmentchedda wrote: Fri Apr 22, 2022 2:16 pm Must be what makes it taste so good. #ca...t...p...o...op