Cringiest Swamp Post You've Ever Recorded

[Jerloma]

This was almost definitely like in my first 10 posts ever so almost 20 years ago (Jesus), but...

The thread was "Greatest Emcee Ever" and my vote was for Ice Cube, and as part of my reasoning, I said something like this...

"Bustin' caps in the mix, rather be judged twelve than carried by six"

This to me encapsulates the gangsta lifestyle more than any rap lyric I've ever heard.

Oof.

I don't know if there was a meeting or anything but thanks for letting me stay.

[sancarlos]

Just one opinion but I’d say your posts about “newly single guy tries to get laid” were cringier.

I’m happy for you that you finally found your way to a good relationship!

[Jerloma]

Just one opinion but I’d say your posts about “newly single guy tries to get laid” were cringier.

I’m happy for you that you finally found your way to a good relationship!

Well yeah they're cringy because I'm just a cauldron of awkwardness. I don't mean recollections as much as actual thoughts that came to your head and decided were valid enough to type.

[Jerloma]

But yeah as it turns out you guys were correct. Someone telling you they had a great sex dream about you does in fact mean they want to fuck you. Took a few years...but I got there.

[Ryan]

- Ice Cube

[mister d]

🎵 And everything is alright
I got a beep from Kim and she can fuck all night
Called up the homies and I'm askin' y'all
Do you think Kim paged me because she likes me likes me or because she’s bored and thinks I’m nice and just wants someone to hang out with I don’t know it’s probably nothing I’m just going to ignore it then tell her I was working late and didn’t want to bother her by the time I finally got home 🎵

[Jerloma]

🎵 And everything is alright
I got a beep from Kim and she can fuck all night
Called up the homies and I'm askin' y'all
Do you think Kim paged me because she likes me likes me or because she’s bored and thinks I’m nice and just wants someone to hang out with I don’t know it’s probably nothing I’m just going to ignore it then tell her I was working late and didn’t want to bother her by the time I finally got home 🎵

I absolutely adore you.

[The Sybian]

🎵 And everything is alright
I got a beep from Kim and she can fuck all night
Called up the homies and I'm askin' y'all
Do you think Kim paged me because she likes me likes me or because she’s bored and thinks I’m nice and just wants someone to hang out with I don’t know it’s probably nothing I’m just going to ignore it then tell her I was working late and didn’t want to bother her by the time I finally got home 🎵

This might be your greatest post of all time.

[HaulCitgo]

Man he just wanted to know which park y'all were playing tennis

[rass]

Click-teased myself and scrolled through what the Internet Wayback Machine has for the old sportsfrog dot com Swamp and couldn't find the thread jerloma mentioned but do want to ask AB who won the Cinderella Man giveaway.


And some of you guys have been around a lot longer than I thought.

getalife.jpg (17.5 KiB) Viewed 293 times

[A_B]

Hmm. I think I remember sending the book out to someone. As for the DVD, I still have a copy but I feel like I got two of them, but if anyone is itching to watch it and willing to wait a few days to get it I'll happily send it to you.

Or I can venmo you for a rental or whatever.

[A_B]

Also, Bravo Mr. D

[tennbengal]

🎵 And everything is alright
I got a beep from Kim and she can fuck all night
Called up the homies and I'm askin' y'all
Do you think Kim paged me because she likes me likes me or because she’s bored and thinks I’m nice and just wants someone to hang out with I don’t know it’s probably nothing I’m just going to ignore it then tell her I was working late and didn’t want to bother her by the time I finally got home 🎵

Had an 8 am deposition. I NEEEDED this. Thanks.

[Johnnie]

I'm sure there's a bunch of cringe I've put in here since 2004, but the one that sticks out in my mind was something like "showing a friend tough love" where I proceeded to talk about my buddy that got a little too drunk and instead of taking the keys from him I got in the car with him hoping he'd get a DUI. We actually got pulled over too. But the cop let him go because he was retired military and my buddy and I were active duty.

It was wreckless, stupid, and a story I should've kept to myself.

[A_B]

I'm sure there's a bunch of cringe I've put in here since 2004, but the one that sticks out in my mind was something like "showing a friend tough love" where I proceeded to talk about my buddy that got a little too drunk and instead of taking the keys from him I got in the car with him hoping he'd get a DUI. We actually got pulled over too. But the cop let him go because he was retired military and my buddy and I were active duty.

It was wreckless, stupid, and a story I should've kept to myself.

Obviously, since you're still here.

Too many to list, but getting supply/demand confused for one another is up there.

[mister d]

One time I said a lot of you were working too hard to defend someone intent on either controlling or ruining this website then forgot to post again for like a year.

[The Sybian]

One time I said a lot of you were working too hard to defend someone intent on either controlling or ruining this website then forgot to post again for like a year.

Welcome back!

[bapo!]

I REGRET NOTHING!

[tennbengal]

"I only bet $1500 I don't have a gambling problem"

[Steve of phpBB]

"What are they going to do, though. Storm Congress?"

[BSF21]

🎵 And everything is alright
I got a beep from Kim and she can fuck all night
Called up the homies and I'm askin' y'all
Do you think Kim paged me because she likes me likes me or because she’s bored and thinks I’m nice and just wants someone to hang out with I don’t know it’s probably nothing I’m just going to ignore it then tell her I was working late and didn’t want to bother her by the time I finally got home 🎵

I think we can conclude the swamp at this post. Just a perfect work of art.

[Johnny Carwash]

I'm 99% sure this is due to my blind spot for popular music, but I don't get mister d's reference and I feel really left out.

[Giff]

Classic.

[Johnnie]

I'm 99% sure this is due to my blind spot for popular music, but I don't get mister d's reference and I feel really left out.

It's ok. Took me a minute too, but it's good.

Jerloma references an Ice Cube lyric in the initial post where, looking back on it, to him his opinion is cringe.

So Mister D finds the Ice Cube lyric from It Was A Good Day where Kim hits him up to fuck him.

So, he then takes actual cringe that Jerloma posted from the Dating Thread and makes a mash up where Ice Cube, as played by Jerloma, overthinks whether or not Kim wants to actually fuck him.

The juxtaposition of a cool Ice Cube inferring sex from a beep (page, whatever, it's the 90s) and Jerloma once being actually dreamt about getting laid and thinking "Eh, I don't think she's into me" is the actual cringe.

Sorry, Mister D. I needed to help out Mr. Carwash.

[Ryan]

Pop-Up Video used to be good

[mister d]

Sorry, Mister D. I needed to help out Mr. Carwash.

On the contrary, I think that only improved the thread.

[Johnnie]

Sorry, Mister D. I needed to help out Mr. Carwash.

On the contrary, I think that only improved the thread.

Ha! Fair enough.

[sancarlos]

Hey, Carwash. FWIW, I also needed that help from Johnnie. (Although, I did infer it fairly close.)

Thanks, Airman.