Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 12:31 pm
Alternate headline - Woman With Period Finishes 6th in Half-Marathon
But the rabbit died?Ryan wrote:Alternate headline - Woman With Period Finishes 6th in Half-Marathon
The Swamp
It's the sixth version of The Swamp. What could possibly go wrong?
http://www.sportsfrog.net/phpbb/
Random Headlines
Page 4 of 13
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 12:35 pm
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 4:04 pm
Man Was Watching Porn While Driving Before Fatal Crash
Luckily a one car accident only.
Luckily a one car accident only.
Gold! Comedy gold!On Tuesday, FOX 2 was speaking with Michigan State Police troopers about a different story when MSP revealed the man had been watching pornography and masturbating while driving. MSP also said the 58-year-old man was not wearing pants at the time of the crash.
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2016 11:42 am
I thought Eddie Griffin died a while back!
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2016 12:02 pm
Shout out to the pioneer!Giff wrote:I thought Eddie Griffin died a while back!
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2016 12:06 pm
I did it once, but with an old fashioned magazine dammit!
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2016 12:28 pm
Guessing the accident involved mostly trying to watch a video while driving. If you can't email your brother and operate a car at the same time you shouldn't be doing either.
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2016 5:29 pm
Guy was in his late 50s. Not really the age when the dick is all that demanding.brian wrote:Guessing the accident involved mostly trying to watch a video while driving. If you can't email your brother and operate a car at the same time you shouldn't be doing either.
You know, death is something that we don't want to think about - it is the dark inevitability that awaits us all. The best that we can hope for is that when it comes, it is when our faculties have just started to decline, after a long life that has left us in a place where, when we do look back during our last days, we can be satisfied that our time on earth was not wasted. That we have made a difference, whether through our actions, or through the fact that we have created generations that will make the world a better place after we drift off (God willing, peacefully) into the final unknown.
The worst thing that could ever happen is to die in such a way that it makes people around the world laugh.
From the New York Daily News:
I would pay to hear the eulogy at the "Motor-Masturbator's" funeral.He should have kept his hands on the wheel.
A distracted Michigan driver was killed in a car wreck he caused by watching porn and masturbating instead of watching the road, Michigan State Police told FOX 2 Detroit.
Clifford Ray Jones, 58, was "beating" on Detroit’s Interstate 75 early Sunday when the skin-flick distraction on his smartphone caused him to roll out of control. Jones wasn't wearing a seatbelt and was ejected from the 1996 Toyota's sunroof.
Cops found the motor-masturbator without any pants on when authorities arrived around 3:30 a.m. at the scene of the crash.
Michigan State Police Lt. Mike Shaw said the porn-induced crash was one of the most bizarre things he had ever heard of.
“We see people putting on makeup, we see people doing different things as far as hygiene, as far as reading books, it’s almost to the fact there’s so much technology out there a lot of people are more paying attention to what they’re doing other than driving their cars,” Shaw told CBS Detroit.
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2016 5:47 pm
A pro is able to do that with the seatbelt on. Safety first!
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2016 8:54 pm
howard wrote:A pro is able to do that with the seatbelt on. Safety comes first!
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2016 8:49 am
This week in me noticing magazine covers in the checkout line:
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2016 4:05 pm
But who is dumb enough to fuck a koala without a condom? Fuck, you don't know where she's been.P.D.X. wrote:You can accidentally get an STD from a koala
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2016 4:07 pm
Fuckin' koalas ain't hard.
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2016 4:11 pm
Hey when are you going to make it back to Australia?The Sybian wrote:But who is dumb enough to fuck a koala without a condom? Fuck, you don't know where she's been.P.D.X. wrote:You can accidentally get an STD from a koala
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2016 4:31 pm
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2016 5:40 pm
But, the guys figured, "I'm never going back to Australia, so what do I care if she's pregnant!"The Sybian wrote:But who is dumb enough to fuck a koala without a condom? Fuck, you don't know where she's been.P.D.X. wrote:You can accidentally get an STD from a koala
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Wed Feb 17, 2016 2:44 pm
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2016 6:35 am
Blue Jays fan threatens to toss Ted Rogers statue into harbour, prompting police response
Rogers was the much loathed owner of a media/cable empire who bought the Jays a while ago. He's dead, and in his honour, there's a laregr than life statue outside the stadium.
A hilarious overreaction, but not sure how safe I feel when it took the police 3 weeks to respond to this threat.
Rogers was the much loathed owner of a media/cable empire who bought the Jays a while ago. He's dead, and in his honour, there's a laregr than life statue outside the stadium.
A hilarious overreaction, but not sure how safe I feel when it took the police 3 weeks to respond to this threat.
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 4:09 pm
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 5:00 pm
Never would have happened if they left the factory in Battle Creek. Just desserts (pun intended).
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 5:04 pm
If you find out you've had one of the tainted treats, make sure to wash it down with a nice Corona.
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Fri Mar 18, 2016 5:07 am
Can't wait for my next scrabble game!govmentchedda wrote:Dictionary getting bigger
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Fri Mar 25, 2016 11:11 pm
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2016 9:28 am
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2016 10:02 am
Did they check her papers?
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2016 10:16 am
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2016 10:17 am
I really liked this one.Ryan wrote:Alternate headline - Woman With Period Finishes 6th in Half-Marathon
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2016 10:52 am
Yeah, that was a gold star comment for sure.Ryan wrote:I really liked this one.Ryan wrote:Alternate headline - Woman With Period Finishes 6th in Half-Marathon
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2016 3:29 pm
Nurse gives up license after taking photos of patient's penis.
Guessing it was either ridiculously huge or ridiculously small.
Guessing it was either ridiculously huge or ridiculously small.
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2016 4:39 pm
I'd let her take my picture,brian wrote:Nurse gives up license after taking photos of patient's penis.
Guessing it was either ridiculously huge or ridiculously small.
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 12:39 am
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:31 am
(... unless you're lurking, Hood.)
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 11:34 pm
I'm always amazed at just how many people have violently shat themselves.
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2016 6:38 am
I don't think it gets much more random than this:
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2016 9:37 am
I had to pull off the interstate and hop a fence and shit in a cow field not 20 feet from a heifer one time. Came back missing a sock.Shirley wrote:I'm always amazed at just how many people have violently shat themselves.
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Wed May 04, 2016 11:18 am
They rejected my idea: Horse Good At Sex
Re: Random Headlines
Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2016 5:32 pm
Somebody's watched some Monty Python.