The Swamp

mister d wrote:I love Roth.

These are Triple Crown stats that match perfectly with the tweet’s dipshittery. This is Ike Davis three seasons before he decides to reinvent himself as a pitcher. It’s Yuniesky Betancourt the year before he signs with a Korean team. It’s perfect.

...

At 7:53 she was slashing .215/10/39, a line that students of the form know as Lyle Overbay Has Been Designated For Assignment:

Aaron Hernandez got his conviction voided by killing himself. That was like the Tuck Rule of murder.

Jerloma wrote:

Aaron Hernandez got his conviction voided by killing himself. That was like the Tuck Rule of murder.

Brian:

The fans are braying fatass shitheels who fancy themselves BLUE COLLAR EVERYMEN and hang on to an insurmountable inferiority complex despite witnessing one of the greatest sports dynasties that will ever exist, and the defining scandal that this team will be remembered for isn’t something kinda badass like Bountygate, but a years-long legal battle over whether or not Brady knew that Bawbee from Quinzee and Jawnee from Reveeah let some air out of some goddamn footballs.

I personally know people who STILL think we should trade Brady while we can because he’s washed up and Janeane Garofalo will be a better QB in the long run.

Fuck New Hampshire, fuck Vermont, fuck Massachusetts, extra fuck Maine, SUPERFUCK Connecticut, and I couldn’t give less of a shit about Rhode Island if you paid me. Fuck me, too.

Oh, and fuck the Jets.

Johnnie wrote:
Jawnee from Reveeah

and Janeane Garofalo will be a better QB in the long run.

EnochRoot wrote:Yeah, it's beyond annoying with their insistence that sports fans should accept "e-Sports" as a valid sport, or even form of entertainment.

It's a bunch of gamer bros wasting their gift of extremely fast twitch reflexes as humanly possible.

Yay.

mister d wrote:"This Super Gamer Jacks Off With His Left Hand While Playing Fight City IV With His Right"

Pruitt wrote:

EnochRoot wrote:Yeah, it's beyond annoying with their insistence that sports fans should accept "e-Sports" as a valid sport, or even form of entertainment.

It's a bunch of gamer bros wasting their gift of extremely fast twitch reflexes as humanly possible.

Yay.

Jonah Stillman would beg to differ.

Johnny Carwash wrote:

mister d wrote:"This Super Gamer Jacks Off With His Left Hand While Playing Fight City IV With His Right"

Shit, and I never get any credit when I do it with Rimworld.

Ryan wrote:

Johnny Carwash wrote:

mister d wrote:"This Super Gamer Jacks Off With His Left Hand While Playing Fight City IV With His Right"

Shit, and I never get any credit when I do it with Rimworld.

During what game?

Ryan wrote:Holy shit with the sponsored posts lately.

bapo! wrote:But what bothers me the most is the political slant. Well, not so much the slant as the snarky, condescending tone. I was never a big fan of that tone when it was applied to sports and pop culture. Adding politics to the mix is just toxic.

Johnnie wrote:I didn't tell anyone (until now), but I actually emailed Hamilton Nolan as a "military member reacts to Trump's presidency" for one of his posts. He used it in his column. It was a large chunk of an even longer email, but I felt decent about him using it.

mister d wrote:Link to it? Nolan is great, him and Moskovitz feel a bit wasted or misplaced there.

[+] spoiler

Code: Select all

(Please shield my info. Thanks.)

Hello Hamilton, 

I'm a daily Deadspin reader and have loved the site ever since Editor Emeritus (if that's still his title) Will Leitch went on Stephen A. Smith's atrocious tv show to introduce himself. He was kind of laughed at for the name of the blog. I wrote off Stephen A. and earned a great deal of respect for Will that day. Deadspin has been my homeboy ever since.

Well, I'm responding to your piece regarding federal employees under the eventual Trump Administration. I'm active duty Air Force and have been in for a long while. My assignments have taken me all over Europe and the Pacific. And I've been deployed to various areas in the Middle East. So I've been around the block and have lived through the last two administrations around various military individuals of all walks of life.

Notice I'm not being specific here. There's a reason for that. Fear. I'm not in some secret squirrel job that might blow my cover. I'm your average enlisted person. So what do I fear? Being found out, by name, on the internet or otherwise as someone who does not like the result of this election. I wasn't exactly rooting for the alternative, but I feel it would have been better. And since what happened is done, I've learned when Republicans are in power, the military tends to cheer - and non republicans within the military need to watch themselves. I'm one of the latter. I'm in the military, but I'm not "in" the military. Nahmean? I'm not "ate up." I still use my brain and can admit when I'm wrong or when someone opposite my ideology has a good idea.

Immediately after Trump became President-Elect, friends of mine on social media went the "Military members who are angry and posting about their distaste for who was elected, fall in line! Donald Trump will be your president. Remember you're not allowed to discuss political issues while active duty" route. I was taken aback by how stern that message was.

And why? Yes, the statement is true. Just look it up. It isn't a Hatch Act thing, but a UCMJ thing. The military is always neutral. Ever catch a shot of the Joint Chiefs of Staff at a State of the Union? They are only allowed to clap when the president walks in and out to show respect to the position. They never clap during the speech. They aren't allowed to. However, *these same exact military members who are playing internet etiquette drill sergeants would openly post negative things about President Obama during his entire two terms.* So now I'm thinking "Am I at the mercy of hypocrites who may rat me out?" That scared the shit out of me.

This cognitive dissonance is so palpable, you could taste it. They could bash Obama for anything and everything, yet one wrong word against Trump and what? Am I being threatened? The passive aggressive stuff is something I can't tolerate as a person in normal life. And now on the internet...ugh. You see where I'm going with this. These people operate in binary land. "Democrat bad, Republican good." And no amount of trying to plead with these people will alter their reality. I've dealt with it my entire career. Speak ill of a Republican openly amongst co-workers and people will start to treat you like shit. Praise a Democrat and immediately get rebuked. The military is still a Republican Christian white man's world. And usually one from a rural, flyover Trumpistan area.  

So, it makes me think that I'll one day get a Stasi-like visit from someone in a position of power because I don't think like them. I'm worried. Is it likely to happen? No, I have a wide array of friends, but...you never know. I'm not leading any revolts anytime soon, but I feel like any show of disagreement in policies with a Trump Administration might get people to question me.

And this worry manifests in other areas. I'm very pro Constitution. How could I not be? It's in my oath of enlistment! The first amendment is the key to our foundation as a country and I cherish the ability for all to have a voice with no government intervention. So when Kaepernick sits or kneels during the National Anthem, I don't get mad. I feel good because I'm doing my job right. (And for fuck's sake, stop apologizing to us. I don't take offense to that. It's your fucking right as an American.) If a flag burns, I don't get mad because it was affirmed and re-affirmed under two separate Supreme Court cases. If people protest (no matter how futile it ultimately is), I'm good with it. Having your voice heard is a good thing.

But Republican, and now Trump supporting, military members don't see it that way. They see opposition. They see complainers. They see a negative entity that needs to be quelled. Despite training and leadership and instances in their own military careers where they have to understand the realities and perspectives, they look at Americans who don't fall in line with their side contemptuously. These attitudes have no place in the military, yet there they are.

Another worry I have is the ripple effect in the areas of gays and lesbians serving openly and the harrowing experience some women face in regards to sexual assault and rape. The latter is a huge deal. I, like everyone else serving, go through mandatory training due to it. How will this change knowing that Donald Trump said and did things that were disgusting and subhuman? Watch the documentary The Invisible War. I nearly threw up. But this is now normal behavior again. If the president, our ultimate boss according to the very same Constitution I care about, can do it and show zero remorse, how does that affect the entire military landscape?

So that's going to be a shitshow. And of note, The military has been very progressive these last few years with helping people and making sure the awareness is there. Oh, and not to mention, the Secretary of the Air Force is a woman and the Secretary of the Army is gay. Whomever Trump selects as Secretary of Defense is going to be extremely important. I hope for a smooth transition, but who knows.

And to further expound on the first amendment, I worry about journalists. The moment I see one of you guys get hushed or arrested or threatened *by the state*, my heart is going to jump through my chest and I'm going to flip my shit. It's your right to write what you like. To quiet that means we're no longer a free nation. And I'll be in an awkward position as someone who supports and defends the Constitution. I won't know how to deal.

In closing, I'm worried. A white supremacist anti Semite was appointed as a senior adviser. That means we that enjoy this country have to be vigilant. Free citizens need to be aware of history. That doesn't bode well for anything. And it makes me think how will I be used for future overseas engagements? Or, shutter to think...homeland engagements.

Excuse my doomsday paranoiathink scenarios, I have to go throw up again.

mister d wrote:I love Roth.

rass wrote:Holy shit this week's "Gregg Easterbrook Memorial Haughty Dipshit Of The Week" from the Jamboroo...

faux-Rex Ryan wrote:“MEN! Men, I just watched a show with my grandson, BUZZ, called Paw Patrol. Now this show is from Canada, which is a bullshit country. But let me tell you what the show is about. It’s about a small, weak, helpless Canadian town. And when they have a problem, they yelp for help, and these little goddamn dogs come running with fire engines and police cars and all kinds of other machinery that you and I know dogs are really bad at.

“Men… I want you to learn from this shithead cartoon produced by a bunch of snow-humping Canucks. If you gentlemen have a problem out there, I don’t want you yelping for help like some dickless idiot. No, I want you to CRY FOR WAR! Don’t wait for a bunch of cute puppies to come to your rescue! THERE ARE NO PUPPIES WALKING THROUGH THAT DOOR! My friends, it is YOU who are the dog! The dog is a wild, unkempt, savage beast within you! BE THE DOG YOU WERE BORN TO BE! Drool and scratch your balls! Leap up and bare your fangs and sharpen your claws and tear that fucking problem limb from limb! And then we’ll all have bones for lunch! FUCKING DOGS OF WAR ON THREE 1-2-3!”

By the way, not to ruin your day, but we’re right on the cusp of Trump ruining Christmas. He’s already throwing down “We can finally say MERRY CHIRSTMAS again!” takes, and he’s only gonna get worse as we get closer to the real deal. We’re gonna get one of his stupid proclamations and everything. “In order to put the Christ back in Christmas, I shall adorn the White House lawn with a giant cross and then set it aflame so that all might see it burn bright with Christmas cheer.”

Ryan wrote:The worst short-lived trend that I actively participated in is hands-down the v-neck cardigan with the white turtleneck. 8th grade/1993ish.



There are 10 million things worse than carpenter pants and, and this is still unbelievably breaking news to me, cargo shorts.

tennbengal wrote:This is pretty damn fine work from Magary:

https://deadspin.com/the-reckoning-alwa ... socialflow