FMMD*: Did Sheryl have some fun with William/Bill/Billy/Mac?

[rass]

*Friday Morning Music Discussion.



Did Sheryl Crow have a sexual encounter with the man she describes in her hit 1994 single "All I Wanna Do"? See the video above if you are somehow (hi DC?) unfamiliar with the song.

Reasons to lean "no":
-she unequivocally finds him unattractive
-just because a woman is drinking at an almost empty bar at noon on a weekday doesn't mean she's "easy" or at all interested in hooking up
-William/Bill/Billy/Mac never explicitly makes a move
-even if William/Bill/Billy/Mac is interested in Sheryl, perhaps he is too much of gentleman to take advantage of a drunk woman

Reasons to lean "yes":
-she seems to be sympathetic to his unsolicited and desperate plea for fun
-she is undoubtedly up for fun of some sort, too
-she notes with some interest the sexual tension of another couple in the bar
-the bartender seems to be inattentive which leaves open the exciting possibility of semi-public sex

[Giff]

Jesus Christ.

[Pruitt]

My familiarity with that song is confined to the length of time it took me to realize it was on and then change the station. So I will have to abstain.

[rass]

Jesus Christ.

Are you OK?

[Ryan]

Stole that other guy's Datsun and drove it across the street to the car wash and stabbed WBBM in the neck with a shard from the bottle of Bud, then cut off seven of his thick fingers and made a necklace.

[Gunpowder]

[Gunpowder]

She spends a lot of time on Bill. Maybe it didn't get to HJ level but I wouldn't unequivocally say no.

[tennbengal]

Nice. I think William/Bill/Billy had as much game as I used to and nothing happened.

[Giff]

Jesus Christ.

Are you OK?

No. No I'm not.

[mister d]

Its not sexual, its a metaphor for her absentee father.

[rass]

Its not sexual, its a metaphor for her absentee father.

Oh, aw.

The same character probably sang "Strong Enough" too, huh? She needs a hug.

[mister d]

I made that up. I have no fucking clue what inspires Sheryl Crow's garbage songs.



(Read enough music reviews and eventually you realize you can sound smarter than everyone else by claiming the song is (obviously) a metaphor for something slightly deeper.)

[rass]

Garbage? THIS shit IS deep:

I don't have digital
I don't have diddly squat
It's not having what you want
It's wanting what you've got

*really hated that song since she played it in Pittsburgh at halftime of the 01/02 AFC Championship game. I don't know why I have such a clear recall of that moment.

[Giff]

I'd rather have Scottie back than a thread about Sheryl Crow.

[rass]

I'd rather have Scottie back than a thread about Sheryl Crow.

I just called to say I love you, come back home

[A_B]

No to all of the above. But she banged buddy hard.

[rass]

No to all of the above. But she banged buddy hard.

Take notes Giff and misterd. That's how you ruin my thread. Fuck.

(I didn't even notice it got cut off when I pasted into the thread title)

[Pruitt]

I'd rather have Scottie back than a thread about Sheryl Crow.

I'm on board with this.

[Moreta]

SHE wanted to have some fun. Point of fact: its *all* she wanted to do. Therefore, clearly the HJ and BJ options are off the table.

I vote no sexual encounter. Just a lot of sitting there in awkward silence, watching Billy tear the labels off his bottles of Bud, judging the peons that have to work during the day to make their car payments.

She wanted to have some fun but no fun was had. Such is life.

Also, I hate this song.

[rass]

SHE wanted to have some fun. Point of fact: its *all* she wanted to do. Therefore, clearly the HJ and BJ options are off the table.

Wait, so you're saying you guys don't enjoy those?

[Moreta]

SHE wanted to have some fun. Point of fact: its *all* she wanted to do. Therefore, clearly the HJ and BJ options are off the table.

Wait, so you're saying you guys don't enjoy those?

Oh. Umm. Yes of course we do. They're our very favorite things.

(Sorry to almost ruin the fantasy.)

[Ryan]

Also, I hate this song.

Honestly. Before this morning, I probably would have given it a B- just for 90s nostalgia, but that opening is literally embarrassing

[DSafetyGuy]

I just watched the whole video to pay attention to the words. Even though she has the carefree life to drink away the morning/early afternoon at a bar, it still isn't fun. In addition to being unattractive, William/Bill/Billy/Mac/Buddy sucks as companionship (what kind of fucking dullard finds enjoyment in burning his fucking fingers?).

The vote is no.

[govmentchedda]

Jesus Christ.

Are you OK?

No. No I'm not.

Giff is doing just fine. Congrats!

[Giff]

Jesus Christ.

Are you OK?

No. No I'm not.

Giff is doing just fine. Congrats!

Thank you, sir!