testuser2 wrote:I hate parents that park their fucking chairs two feet from the field. God damn does it piss me off.
Every single game! What's wrong with these people?
Moderators: Shirley, Sabo, brian, rass, DaveInSeattle
testuser2 wrote:I hate parents that park their fucking chairs two feet from the field. God damn does it piss me off.
testuser2 wrote:I hate parents that park their fucking chairs two feet from the field. God damn does it piss me off.
rass wrote:U12 kid has three practices a week, 4 hours total. One hour of that is with the parent coach, and not the trainer, for speed/agility training.
U10 kid has two for 3 hours total.
Older kid tied 1-1 today. She played out of her mind on defense. The sort of game I wish we had recorded. One girl who has been beat up and missed last Sunday's game and all three practices this past week showed up today so they ended up with one sub.
The Sybian wrote:
Been wanting to ask some advice on the recent complaints we got from 2 parents, but I don't have time right now. My wife took a couple short videos of a game 3 weeks ago, and I was shocked at all of the screaming from our parents. I said, "no wonder the kids don't listen, they are being told to do 4 different things at the same time." My daughter said it really bothers her, and I'm sure she isn't alone. We sent out an e-mail after that game, and I'll just post the reply of one parent below, who had a lot of other things to say:Thank you for sending this email regarding the parents "sideline coaching". We've been surprised by what we have been seeing the past couple weeks. Parents walking up and down the sidelines coaching, parents screaming like maniacs, parents going over to the team during the game and at half time, kids coming over to parents during the game. We've never seen anything like this. My son is in his 6th year playing for the league and the coaches have given us very specific league rules from day one. And if the parents don't follow the rules they will be asked to leave.
Some parents on this have even said to me, "you're so calm." Perhaps some of the parents new to this league don't realize there are specific rules. Yes, I am much calmer than most parents on the sidelines because I know the league rules and I also appreciate the fact that these are 7 and 8 year olds and that this is not the World Cup.
I thank you for bringing that up because I do believe it needed to be said.
I thought it was great when we had half of the fathers volunteer to assistant coach, and we have 7 fathers with F-licences on the team. We have 2 head coaches, one being me, and 2 assistants that are there at half the practices, and most of the games. We are only allowed 3 coaches on the bench, so one of the assistants goes to the parents side when we are all there. I'm thinking the assistant on the parents side will have to police our parents. One father in particular is brutal to his daughter. I'm always surprised, because he is such a low key, cool guy, but he is so tough on his daughter. She is our second best player, by a long distance, but every mistake she makes gets him screaming. I missed our last game, but she gave up a couple soft goals, and my co-coach said she looked at the sidelines like she knew a beating was coming. The father used to joke about it last year, saying he would love to coach, but knows he gets too frustrated, but now it's not funny. I don't think he yells at any other girls, but he tells me afterwards how frustrated he gets at them, and has to remind himself they are 7 and 8 years old. Not sure if I had a point there, or just venting, but I think we need to lay down the law, and limit parents from coaching.
rass wrote:We had a parent on the opposing team not only call out our parents multiple times on Sunday ("where are # XX's parents?"), he also pulled the same shit while directly addressing one of our players ("hey # XX, where are your parents? We're going to get # YY on you"). Despite all SAGE suggestions to never initiate a confrontation, I shouted him down after he talked to our kid.
I sent a note to our club, so no idea if anything will be done. Thankfully we don't play them again this fall.
Nonlinear FC wrote:Those girls are too young for all this bullshit. I'm not trying to minimize your issues, but geezus... Get a grip people.
I'm lucky to have had only one or two parents that needed to be sorted out in all my years of coaching. Even with the girls, as we took them up to a pretty high level of play, never really had an issue with anyone. I mean, we've had the occasional off-line talks with various parents about position preference or style of play. And, to me, that's fine. We don't come across as tyrants and we'd rather have an open line than a my way or the highway approach.
But yelling that kick was crap? It's mind boggling to me that these parents don't understand the atmosphere they are creating with that kind of negativity. And knowing the game? I'm sorry, but, again, at that level of play... Things need to be very very basic. There just shouldn't be all these voices and any sort of drama. It's ridiculous.
The Sybian wrote:The dynamics are fascinating, as Ava's mom, Bitch #2 and a third mother who is their lackey, all went to HS together in our town. Ava's mom was the head cheerleader and Queen Meangirl. Now she is pushing 300 pounds, and fake sweet to people, but clearly and angry miserable person. It's hilarious, as she still holds some weird psychological power over the women she went to HS with who still live in town. It's a weird female political dynamic, and my wife is very attuned to not pissing her off, because she has minions and will seek vengeance.
Nonlinear FC wrote:Well, Alexi is right. (blind squirrel/broken clock/yadayadayada).
The other stuff is just... Blech.
I think a 7v7 squad carrying 14 is pretty rough. My daughter plays travel softball, with 10 playing at any given time, and they max the roster out at 14. I know they are very different sports, but doubling up the amount of players that can play at any given time is a nightmare for coaches. And I would do exactly what you are doing in that spot. There's NO WAY you could keep track of playing time if you did it in 2s and 3s. No way. (I mean, I have attention deficit, so... Maybe somebody else could deal with that, no way in hell i could.) I know it's out of your control, I'm just sympathizing.
And I know your more venting than looking for advice, but...
One thing where my profession helped with my coaching was that I like to communicate with the parents. Particularly, I liked to write emails, especially when conveying something that might cause confusion or consternation among the parents. When we were going to divide the team up, that was a HUGE deal. So, I kept the parents updated on why we were doing it, what the tryouts were going to look like, opportunities for kids to move up and play for the EDP team, etc.
The good thing about email is that everyone gets the same message, at the same time. Now, some people are stupid... and some people hear/read what they want to, regardless of how careful you are with your wording. But, generally, it just saves you a lot of headache AND you alleviate a lot of the hen pecking bullshit that you are describing. If she wants to engage in a 45 minute bitch session AFTER you've already explained a bunch of stuff in an email, that's just her wasting your time, and you're free to tell her so.
Nonlinear FC wrote:WRT to that reffing situation, it's a bit more fluid in soccer than it is in, say, lacrosse or field hockey, where you guys (refs) just don't put up with much bullshit regarding encroachment on set pieces/restarts.
It's really on the ref to set a tone and a standard. But it is VERY rare for a ref to just straight up card someone for standing too close to the ball. They tried making a thing out of that, but the culture is just kind of set that unless your player goes very quickly, the other team is going to step on the ball (parlance.)
wlu_lax6 wrote:Our practice was Sunday night and it was cold and wet. I am not a complete dick. I cancelled practice last year on Halloween. But my All-star team only has 4 practices before our tournament and I was clear on commitment. Did not select a good kid because he would miss every practice due to basketball but could play the tournament.
Nonlinear FC wrote:wlu_lax6 wrote:Our practice was Sunday night and it was cold and wet. I am not a complete dick. I cancelled practice last year on Halloween. But my All-star team only has 4 practices before our tournament and I was clear on commitment. Did not select a good kid because he would miss every practice due to basketball but could play the tournament.
Oh. Yeah. Sunday was a bit gnarly.
That said, we NEVER canceled practice unless there was some serious lightning in the forecast. We've practiced in the snow multiple times once our club gave us access to the turf.
Lightening fucks things up, obviously. Especially when most of the parents work out a car pool deal and don't sit there for 90-120 minutes. (Because fuck that. I don't understand folks who do that on the reg.)
elflaco wrote:last year i coached a u12 boys team. we had 16. that meant 7 on the bench. the league has a requirement that kids play certain amount of time over the season (so does our club, but that's a whole 'nother rant). i had two assistants -- one of them held a tablet each game - used a time keeping app for subs. end of the season, yeah... we had kids playing 50+ minutes (60min game) ... but no one played less than 20min per game... most were in the 25-35 min per game. hard to do. yeah. but doable.
current team, also a u12... we carry 15. head coach refuses to lose.. winning is everything kind of guy... subs every 3 to 5 minutes... we're only undefeated because the core 5 players play 50+ minutes ... the kind of guy who won't stop yelling directions at every player all game long... with teh kind of parents who despite some kids not playing a lot.. won't complain because they are, you know, winners... ughh..can't wait to get him out next season.
wlu_lax6 wrote:elflaco wrote:last year i coached a u12 boys team. we had 16. that meant 7 on the bench. the league has a requirement that kids play certain amount of time over the season (so does our club, but that's a whole 'nother rant). i had two assistants -- one of them held a tablet each game - used a time keeping app for subs. end of the season, yeah... we had kids playing 50+ minutes (60min game) ... but no one played less than 20min per game... most were in the 25-35 min per game. hard to do. yeah. but doable.
current team, also a u12... we carry 15. head coach refuses to lose.. winning is everything kind of guy... subs every 3 to 5 minutes... we're only undefeated because the core 5 players play 50+ minutes ... the kind of guy who won't stop yelling directions at every player all game long... with teh kind of parents who despite some kids not playing a lot.. won't complain because they are, you know, winners... ughh..can't wait to get him out next season.
I have a roster of 15. One kid only showed up for the first game and I have not seen him since (If he shows up for the tournament he won't play unless he says "My zipper was stuck"---yeah Summer School Reference you young punks). I don't get 14 at any of my games (usually 12). I am a sub every 5 to 7 minutes so that kids stay engaged on the sideline. We also play high energy and they exhaust themselves. However, I just basically rotate kids. I don't take quality of player into factor when substituting (I do balance positions, but try to just give kids about the same amount of playing time).
Oh and I am one of those crazy coaches who won't top yelling. However, I am more of the cheerleader type. No directions but rather the: great job keep the energy up, keep you heads up, and get the next one. Also the yell a kids name and give him an applause and thumbs up. Parents appreciate it but I do wish I could just shut up and let them play. The noise being yelled at them is just overwhelming and they are not listening. Which is why I was proud of the team and myself this weekend. The ability to have the team communicate to each other and have me just give some positive feedback on goal kicks and breaks in play was cool.
wlu_lax6 wrote:My wife and I got into a a bit of a heated argument last night. My team has a game at 8:30. Temps on Saturday at that time will probably be ~25F-~28F. I explained that we will bundle up and play some soccer. Hats/Earbands, Under Armour, Pants, and Gloves. Maybe even a sweatshirt under the jersey. She was all in a huff and puff about our poor little boy and the rest of the boys on the team. I have no sympathy and explained that kids have played in worse and this is about toughening the kids up. We play and get some warmth quickly after the game. She said she did not want to sit in the cold. I told her she did not have to come (that was the wrong response).
mister d wrote:wlu_lax6 wrote:My wife and I got into a a bit of a heated argument last night. My team has a game at 8:30. Temps on Saturday at that time will probably be ~25F-~28F. I explained that we will bundle up and play some soccer. Hats/Earbands, Under Armour, Pants, and Gloves. Maybe even a sweatshirt under the jersey. She was all in a huff and puff about our poor little boy and the rest of the boys on the team. I have no sympathy and explained that kids have played in worse and this is about toughening the kids up. We play and get some warmth quickly after the game. She said she did not want to sit in the cold. I told her she did not have to come (that was the wrong response).
If it helps, I'm as soft as they come and I think you're fine here.
wlu_lax6 wrote:First time my entire team was at the field ready to go 30 minutes before kickoff. Freezing out there. We warm up well, bit nervous about the kids mental focus. Game time comes and the refs are just hanging out. They are just chatting with the site admin. Other field kicks off. We stand there. I pop over. The other team did not have a paper copy of the roster. Refs won't let them play. Win by forfeit. Silly. They would not even let me say it was okay to play. Silly. Semifinals at 1:45
testuser2 wrote:We are in a tournament down your way wlu. First game is at Hammond CC with a 9am kickoff. This also happens to be the weekend the wife is in Vegas for the marathon. She is pretty happy with her choice. Game gear is similar. Under armor, sweatshirt, hat, gloves, etc... These games are always hardest on the goalies.
Thoughts and prayers...
Nonlinear FC wrote:Congrats, man! As much as winning isn't everything... It sure is awesome to win a trophy.
Dumb, fuckstick coach wrote:Why aren't you throwing the ball over the plate? You should pitch like Warren Spahn or Sandy Koufax.
Dumb, fuckstick coach wrote:You throw like Old Lady Bussmeyer.
Dumb, fuckstick coach, while pointing at home plate wrote:Do you even know what the strike zone is? It's right there!
A_B wrote:I never had a coach tell me anything other than "don't step in the bucket".