Where's the chianti?Nonlinear FC wrote: ↑Fri Nov 23, 2018 12:13 pm High five duff!
Welcome to the newly formed Man Meat Club (Sandwich) Club.
Swamp RimWorld 2019
Moderators: Shirley, Sabo, brian, rass, DaveInSeattle
Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
To quote both Bruce Prichard and Tony Schiavone, "Fuck Duff Meltzer."
Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
What story teller do you use and what level? Seems like Randy.
To quote both Bruce Prichard and Tony Schiavone, "Fuck Duff Meltzer."
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
Not me. Opioids or bust.
Hold on, I'm trying to see if Jack London ever gets this fire built or not.
Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
Is the same woman who worked for Trump? Wish she'd have abused him like she abused Rass.
Yes, I know that was Omarosa.
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian
Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
Basically a recap of Thanksgiving for me.
BFJ is the town wizard who runs a magic shop. He also has a golem that he has trained to attack anti-Semites.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
Yes, it's Randy. IMO the "unpredictable" nature works best for what we're doing here.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
I like my women sassy!
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
Bengal’s return is going to go a lot like this:
ETA: he’s McBride in this scenario, in case the video title didn’t make my intention clear
ETA: he’s McBride in this scenario, in case the video title didn’t make my intention clear
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
So, the good news is that we won't have to worry about Bengal being subjected to unspeakable abuses at the hands of his captors. The bad news that it's because he died of his wounds en route to the raider camp.
The cold snap has killed off all our crops, leading us to subsist on whatever meat we can find in the area. Fortunately for Nonlinear and Duff, that includes the raiders we killed in the last attack:
Despite the cold, lack of food, and rampant cannibalism going on, BFJ spontaneously decides to throw a party, leading to some interesting interactions:
The cold snap has killed off all our crops, leading us to subsist on whatever meat we can find in the area. Fortunately for Nonlinear and Duff, that includes the raiders we killed in the last attack:
Despite the cold, lack of food, and rampant cannibalism going on, BFJ spontaneously decides to throw a party, leading to some interesting interactions:
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
The cold snap finally passes, and the temperature returns to a point where we can once again grow crops.
rass comes down with food poisoning and collapses. He is carried to a hospital bed, where he remains immobile while recovering.
It will take a while before the harvest, so in the meantime we'll still need to rely on hunting. A herd of "muffaloes," which you may remember from before, has fortuitously wandered into our vicinity, offering an ample source of meat. According to their description, they have a 2% chance of fighting back when attacked. Should be an acceptable risk, right?
Maybe not. Nonlinear successfully kills a few, but when duff shoots one from another group, it turns and charges—but not just by itself; here comes the whole herd! Duff is quickly overrun and drops unconscious with a multitude of broken bones.
But that's not enough for the muffaloes, who are heading straight for our base. We gather inside the main building, but the muffaloes bash down the door. We put up a fight but before long everyone lies on the floor in a bloody heap—except for the ailing rass, who the muffaloes either left alone in his bed out of a principled sense of honor or just didn't see.
rass comes down with food poisoning and collapses. He is carried to a hospital bed, where he remains immobile while recovering.
It will take a while before the harvest, so in the meantime we'll still need to rely on hunting. A herd of "muffaloes," which you may remember from before, has fortuitously wandered into our vicinity, offering an ample source of meat. According to their description, they have a 2% chance of fighting back when attacked. Should be an acceptable risk, right?
Maybe not. Nonlinear successfully kills a few, but when duff shoots one from another group, it turns and charges—but not just by itself; here comes the whole herd! Duff is quickly overrun and drops unconscious with a multitude of broken bones.
But that's not enough for the muffaloes, who are heading straight for our base. We gather inside the main building, but the muffaloes bash down the door. We put up a fight but before long everyone lies on the floor in a bloody heap—except for the ailing rass, who the muffaloes either left alone in his bed out of a principled sense of honor or just didn't see.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
Just when it looks like our luck has run out, a new arrival appears on the horizon. Look, it's longtime Swamp favorite Jerloma!
Jerloma spent his childhood searching through junk mounds for valuables. He grew up to be a chemist, but was banished to a remote planet after being caught doing unethical "Island of Dr. Moreau"-type experiments. He has good crafting and intellectual skills, but is incapable of empathy or cleaning up after himself.
So, maybe any hope was short-lived, as Jerloma happened to arrive straight into the path of the rampaging muffalo herd. He tries to run but is quickly overcome and beaten into the ground.
Jerloma spent his childhood searching through junk mounds for valuables. He grew up to be a chemist, but was banished to a remote planet after being caught doing unethical "Island of Dr. Moreau"-type experiments. He has good crafting and intellectual skills, but is incapable of empathy or cleaning up after himself.
So, maybe any hope was short-lived, as Jerloma happened to arrive straight into the path of the rampaging muffalo herd. He tries to run but is quickly overcome and beaten into the ground.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
Back at the base, everyone is somehow still alive but in a dire state. Nonlinear and chedda manage to climb to their feet and fire a few more shots at the muffaloes, but are both quickly downed again. Pruitt, who had his left leg torn off, dies of blood loss. BFJ, with a particularly bad wound to the torso, isn't much better off. rass is still fine in his bed, though.
Just when it looks like the end for us, we get a remarkable stroke of luck. Several of the muffaloes finally collapse from their wounds, and the remainder decide to move on. Slowly, a few colonists climb to their feet and set about attempting the first steps to recovery. Oh yeah, and rass is fine now, presumably asking if anything interesting happened while he was sleeping.
We get another new joiner in "Shary"—who is rass's mom! Hey, at least she's not attacking us *cough* duff *cough*. Shary appears chased by an angry tribesman, who we quickly dispatch. Back to work on the daunting task of getting everyone patched up. On the bright side, at least we have a nice sanitary environment to work with.
Unfortunately, the aid comes too late for BFJ, who develops an infection from his wounds and dies. In memoriam, here is a rundown of his final works, which have no doubt just skyrocketed in value:
- chedda fighting off an invading force with a sickle while raising a fist in defiance.
- Two eggplants.
- chedda serving himself a drink and laughing.
- rass introducing chedda to a friend and laughing.
- Two doctors and surgeons eating bell peppers together.
Stay tuned...
Just when it looks like the end for us, we get a remarkable stroke of luck. Several of the muffaloes finally collapse from their wounds, and the remainder decide to move on. Slowly, a few colonists climb to their feet and set about attempting the first steps to recovery. Oh yeah, and rass is fine now, presumably asking if anything interesting happened while he was sleeping.
We get another new joiner in "Shary"—who is rass's mom! Hey, at least she's not attacking us *cough* duff *cough*. Shary appears chased by an angry tribesman, who we quickly dispatch. Back to work on the daunting task of getting everyone patched up. On the bright side, at least we have a nice sanitary environment to work with.
Unfortunately, the aid comes too late for BFJ, who develops an infection from his wounds and dies. In memoriam, here is a rundown of his final works, which have no doubt just skyrocketed in value:
- chedda fighting off an invading force with a sickle while raising a fist in defiance.
- Two eggplants.
- chedda serving himself a drink and laughing.
- rass introducing chedda to a friend and laughing.
- Two doctors and surgeons eating bell peppers together.
Stay tuned...
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
This iteration of this game fits right at home in 2018. What a shit show. Stupid muffaloes.
Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
Don't think I haven't noticed that the duff family is responsible for all three deaths so far.
And Pruitt died on his birthday. :(
And Pruitt died on his birthday. :(
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
I just wanted some tasty jews to eat.
To quote both Bruce Prichard and Tony Schiavone, "Fuck Duff Meltzer."
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
Too real.- chedda fighting off an invading force with a sickle while raising a fist in defiance.
- Two eggplants.
- chedda serving himself a drink and laughing.
- rass introducing chedda to a friend and laughing.
- Two doctors and surgeons eating bell peppers together.
Until everything is less insane, I'm mixing weed with wine.
Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
I googled "muffaloes" and just watched a video where 100 ostriches kicked the asses of 100 muffaloes (and then proceeded to have what I think was an ostrich orgy) so maybe we should have gone with the ostrich over the ground sloth.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
At least I got to see the Bills and the Browns win on the same day.
Godspeed my friends.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
Was going to say that if you think duff's behavior seems suspicious so far...wait.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
So in the wake of muffalo attacks, several colonist deaths, food shortages, and an abysmal hygienic situation, some of those remaining are pushed to the brink of their sanity.
Here's something I hadn't seen before: rass's mom, Shary, breaks down and digs up EnochRoot's dessicated corpse from its grave, carrying it to the dining room. Fortunately, we get some proper food ready before she resorts to eating him, however, this does not create a particularly good impression when another faction stops by for a visit shortly thereafter.
Other thing I hadn't seen before: duff, apparently fed up with civilization, spontaneously decides to leave the colony and go feral, hovering around the vicinity with the other wild animals.
Here's something I hadn't seen before: rass's mom, Shary, breaks down and digs up EnochRoot's dessicated corpse from its grave, carrying it to the dining room. Fortunately, we get some proper food ready before she resorts to eating him, however, this does not create a particularly good impression when another faction stops by for a visit shortly thereafter.
Other thing I hadn't seen before: duff, apparently fed up with civilization, spontaneously decides to leave the colony and go feral, hovering around the vicinity with the other wild animals.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
After an emergency cleaning detail and the food situation destabilizing, things begin to return to somewhat normal, a remarkable recovery considering how dire the outlook was just a short while earlier.
duff remains wandering in the vicinity of the base, romping among the wildlife. Nonlinear moves to apprehend them but duff fights back and Nonlinear has to beat him unconscious with his rifle butt. duff loses his left ring finger and right little toe in the process. He is dragged back to the base and locked inside his room, where after a few days we are able to successfully re-recruit him.
The rest of the spring passes mostly without incident. Early in the summer a pack of mad monkeys wanders into the area and we make quick work of them, but not without escaping injury. Jerloma gets the worst of it, suffering 15 wounds from monkey bites and punches. This doesn't seem to dampen his mood too much, though:
duff remains wandering in the vicinity of the base, romping among the wildlife. Nonlinear moves to apprehend them but duff fights back and Nonlinear has to beat him unconscious with his rifle butt. duff loses his left ring finger and right little toe in the process. He is dragged back to the base and locked inside his room, where after a few days we are able to successfully re-recruit him.
The rest of the spring passes mostly without incident. Early in the summer a pack of mad monkeys wanders into the area and we make quick work of them, but not without escaping injury. Jerloma gets the worst of it, suffering 15 wounds from monkey bites and punches. This doesn't seem to dampen his mood too much, though:
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
A few days later, we get another refugee. Don't get nostalgic, but it's longtime Swamper bapo!
bapo! spent his childhood a part of a secret government project whose details still remain highly classified. Nonetheless, he went on to become a successful trader. He is a pessimist and highly neurotic. His alcohol tolerance is described as "large."
Hot on bapo's tail are a group of raiders from the Armadillos of Torment. There are five this time, the biggest group we've faced so far. They are also apparently interested in backgammon, underscoring that they are weirdos who deserve to die.
We take cover behind a row of rocks and unload on the raiders as they approach, dropping a couple of them quickly. One raider manages to reach our position but rass's mom Shary unleashes our pet pig, alpaca, and ibex, who trample him to death as the others flee. Welcome bapo!
bapo! spent his childhood a part of a secret government project whose details still remain highly classified. Nonetheless, he went on to become a successful trader. He is a pessimist and highly neurotic. His alcohol tolerance is described as "large."
Hot on bapo's tail are a group of raiders from the Armadillos of Torment. There are five this time, the biggest group we've faced so far. They are also apparently interested in backgammon, underscoring that they are weirdos who deserve to die.
We take cover behind a row of rocks and unload on the raiders as they approach, dropping a couple of them quickly. One raider manages to reach our position but rass's mom Shary unleashes our pet pig, alpaca, and ibex, who trample him to death as the others flee. Welcome bapo!
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
Carwash, my day is already 100% better because of this. Thanks again, for the effort and doing these.
Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
Cry "Havoc!" and let slip the ibex of war!
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
Yeah, but how much did yesterday suck?tennbengal wrote: ↑Thu Nov 29, 2018 8:18 am Carwash, my day is already 100% better because of this. Thanks again, for the effort and doing these.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
It sucked hard. No update and I drove 565 miles round trip to the middle of west virginia and back for work.rass wrote: ↑Thu Nov 29, 2018 8:33 amYeah, but how much did yesterday suck?tennbengal wrote: ↑Thu Nov 29, 2018 8:18 am Carwash, my day is already 100% better because of this. Thanks again, for the effort and doing these.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
Boy, am I glad to see you guys. In addition to getting chased by those backgammon freaks, I haven't had any beer in two days, and I've been dying to talk about that Jets/Rams game from 1983. Is this a Gastineau group, or more of a Dickerson group? I want to know if I'll fit in.Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Thu Nov 29, 2018 7:48 am A few days later, we get another refugee. Don't get nostalgic, but it's longtime Swamper bapo!
Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
Watch out my friend, that purple hair sure makes you tasty looking. ;)bapo! wrote: ↑Thu Nov 29, 2018 3:27 pmBoy, am I glad to see you guys. In addition to getting chased by those backgammon freaks, I haven't had any beer in two days, and I've been dying to talk about that Jets/Rams game from 1983. Is this a Gastineau group, or more of a Dickerson group? I want to know if I'll fit in.Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Thu Nov 29, 2018 7:48 am A few days later, we get another refugee. Don't get nostalgic, but it's longtime Swamper bapo!
To quote both Bruce Prichard and Tony Schiavone, "Fuck Duff Meltzer."
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
Wow, so it looks like all I have to do is put a long-lost Swamper in the game and they magically reappear here. That wields some serious power.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
You know, the WiFi here is kinda spotty. Perhaps I'll keep wandering. Take care.duff wrote: ↑Thu Nov 29, 2018 3:39 pmWatch out my friend, that purple hair sure makes you tasty looking. ;)bapo! wrote: ↑Thu Nov 29, 2018 3:27 pmBoy, am I glad to see you guys. In addition to getting chased by those backgammon freaks, I haven't had any beer in two days, and I've been dying to talk about that Jets/Rams game from 1983. Is this a Gastineau group, or more of a Dickerson group? I want to know if I'll fit in.Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Thu Nov 29, 2018 7:48 am A few days later, we get another refugee. Don't get nostalgic, but it's longtime Swamper bapo!
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
Hold on, I'm trying to see if Jack London ever gets this fire built or not.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
Use it for good. Or evil. Hey, whatever.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
In the aftermath of bapo's arrival and the ensuing fight with raiders, things return to normal.
Duff "offers a backhanded compliment" about rass's family and they fight! It ends as you might have come to expect (reverse chronological order):
Both are taken to the hospital to recover. Later that night, a mad wild boar breaks into the hospital. Duff shoots it dead while rass remains in bed.
But maybe duff has some plans in store for rass...
Duff "offers a backhanded compliment" about rass's family and they fight! It ends as you might have come to expect (reverse chronological order):
Both are taken to the hospital to recover. Later that night, a mad wild boar breaks into the hospital. Duff shoots it dead while rass remains in bed.
But maybe duff has some plans in store for rass...
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
Word must have gotten out that our colony was the prime spot to flee from homicidal raiders, as soon enough we get yet another refugee. It's kranepool!
kranepool was a musical prodigy in his youth and as an adult developed an obsession with collecting old machinery. Both of these stunted his social skills; according to his description, "He had a habit of talking about his collection long after people around him had stopped listening." Despite this odd background, he has solid combat skills and an unexpectedly upbeat temperament.
But here come kranepool's pursuers. Again it's the Armadillos of Torment, eight of them this time, and even more heavily armed, including what appears to be a fat Russian guy and Cheech Marin with a grenade launcher. This may be more than we can handle. Fuck kranepool.
We spring into our defensive positions, bringing our gaggle of attack animals along as the firefight erupts. Grenade launcher guy fires off a round but it fortuitously sails over our heads. After a short but intense fight, we prevail, dropping the majority of the attackers and causing the rest to flee. We have a few wounded, including chedda who loses his right kidney, but none life-threatening. OK, so maybe kranepool won't be the end of us.
kranepool was a musical prodigy in his youth and as an adult developed an obsession with collecting old machinery. Both of these stunted his social skills; according to his description, "He had a habit of talking about his collection long after people around him had stopped listening." Despite this odd background, he has solid combat skills and an unexpectedly upbeat temperament.
But here come kranepool's pursuers. Again it's the Armadillos of Torment, eight of them this time, and even more heavily armed, including what appears to be a fat Russian guy and Cheech Marin with a grenade launcher. This may be more than we can handle. Fuck kranepool.
We spring into our defensive positions, bringing our gaggle of attack animals along as the firefight erupts. Grenade launcher guy fires off a round but it fortuitously sails over our heads. After a short but intense fight, we prevail, dropping the majority of the attackers and causing the rest to flee. We have a few wounded, including chedda who loses his right kidney, but none life-threatening. OK, so maybe kranepool won't be the end of us.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
Oh shit. bapo's alcohol withdrawal causes him to have a mental break, and he begins senselessly killing animals in our livestock pen. First the ibex, then a domesticated rat, then our pet pig Tom-Tom. What the fuck, bapo?
After his animal murder spree, bapo calms down and appears to have gotten past his withdrawal problems. Or not:
Look how oblivious kranepool looks here:
kranepool soon realizes bapo's intentions and flees frantically through the base. We put together a quick detail of duff, chedda, and Nonlinear who corner bapo and beat him unconscious. The beating appears to have restored bapo's sanity for the moment, but can we really count on that to last at this point?
Stay tuned...
After his animal murder spree, bapo calms down and appears to have gotten past his withdrawal problems. Or not:
Look how oblivious kranepool looks here:
kranepool soon realizes bapo's intentions and flees frantically through the base. We put together a quick detail of duff, chedda, and Nonlinear who corner bapo and beat him unconscious. The beating appears to have restored bapo's sanity for the moment, but can we really count on that to last at this point?
Stay tuned...
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
Why are we mad at bapo for sensibly trying to murder kranepool?
Pack a vest for your james in the city of intercourse
Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018
Based on that last screencap I've figured out why "chedda" has been wearing that silly hat as much as possible: to disguise the fact that he's actually beloved late-night funnyman Conan O'Brien.
That's the most effective way to bite.Rass bit duff with his teeth.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018: Poll - Banishment?
Went ahead and put up a new poll regarding bapo's transgressions. We have the option to "banish" a person from the colony, though I can't remember having done it before and am not sure what the repercussions would be.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018: Poll - Banishment?
Can we just trade duff for some beer?
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.