In 1987
The Official Swamp Dating Thread
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
BFJ is the town wizard who runs a magic shop. He also has a golem that he has trained to attack anti-Semites.
- Square Rob
- Jesus Quintana
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
My dad always called it ‘getting some mud for your turtle’ which I always found poetic.
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
If this is dating in the modern world, then I really feel sorry for all of the single folks in the world. (Read the Twitter thread.)
THERE’S NOWT WRONG WITH GALA LUNCHEONS, LAD!
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
He calls it "subterfuge"...I call it good marketing.
I would like expensive whiskey.
We only have beer & wine...
What am I, 12?
We only have beer & wine...
What am I, 12?
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Question...
If someone were to say to someone else, "How about you hold off on the whole finding a girlfriend thing until I'm all settled in my new life. I can't have someone using your 'bandwidth' that should be meant for me."
Is there like any chance that this wouldn't involve the sex?
If someone were to say to someone else, "How about you hold off on the whole finding a girlfriend thing until I'm all settled in my new life. I can't have someone using your 'bandwidth' that should be meant for me."
Is there like any chance that this wouldn't involve the sex?
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
- A_B
- The Dude
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
If someone were to say that you should tell them to shit or get off the pot.
Of all the things you refuse to take shit on, why this? I’m assuming it’s the same lady of course.
Of all the things you refuse to take shit on, why this? I’m assuming it’s the same lady of course.
Hold on, I'm trying to see if Jack London ever gets this fire built or not.
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
He needs to find a way to access Twitter and follow Joel Dongsteen.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
You know what, man...I just don't feel like it, anyway. I've been on the Bumbles and the Tinders and I've got lots of matches and I've chatted with some women, and ultimately, I'm just not there. The whole getting to know you thing seems completely exhausting to me right now. I get a little lonely sometimes but for the most part, really comfortable with my solitude. Not sure I'm really ready to jeopardize that.
But yeah, I realize that's not a really fair question to ask me. I may have subconsciously doing that anyway though.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Oh, also I had sex with a prostitute for the first time about a month ago. During the first Steelers-Ravens game this year. They both sucked.
What's up with the blowjob with the condom?
What's up with the blowjob with the condom?
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Coffee milk. Maybe she was from out of state.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
So, what's the reason for the delay with the woman who wants you to wait for her while she "gets settled"? She still involved with another guy and hasn't ended it yet? If so, fuck that. There are good reasons to wait, and bad reasons to wait, you know.
Meanwhile, pornhubdotcom .
Meanwhile, pornhubdotcom .
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian
- The Sybian
- The Dude
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Ha!!!!!
Is this the same woman you've brought up before? I'd just say sure, ignore the demand, but since you don't sound ready to date anyways, it's your decision not to date. If you are single when she is ready, great. If you are dating someone by that time, great. Put yourself first, and go with whatever happens.
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt
-Pruitt
- Brontoburglar
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
My girlfriend is on an ice skating team. We are in Michigan for a competition. I discovered at dinner tonight that a girl I dated briefly 3.5 years ago is also on this team now. She's the one who told me she was bisexual and asked me if I was gay.
I guess she knows the answer to that question now?
I guess she knows the answer to that question now?
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
- Brontoburglar
- The Dude
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
I regret to inform you that you are not the first to point that out
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Think about it man. As someone who used to patronize the ladies of the evening think about it and take a step back and realze you should be really really greatful for that condom.this woman takes shots in the mouth for a living from the fringes of fat sweaty disgusting desperate malehood. No homo but you are probably a solid 8 out of the guys she professionally sees who push her to succeed (suck-seed? get it? fuck it i laughed im high but its staying)...you want the aids? that condom is why u dont got the aids
MOTHERFUCKING 2017 WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS!!!Gunpowder wrote:you transcend douchedom.
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
So I started talking to some girl on the Bumbles last night. She seems nice, smart, attractive, has her shit together but under politics it says "conservative." So I just asked her if that was like some subjective term reflecting a leaning towards fiscal responsibility or if she's rolling with him. She said, "Is it a dealbreaker that I voted for Trump? I'm independent and have voted for both parties in the past."
I wouldn't have thought it was but she doesn't seem to regret it and I think it might be. Am I being closed-minded?
I wouldn't have thought it was but she doesn't seem to regret it and I think it might be. Am I being closed-minded?
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
No, should be a deal-breaker IMO (unless she laments voting for him in which case let your conscience be your guide).Jerloma wrote: ↑Wed Feb 20, 2019 3:22 pm So I started talking to some girl on the Bumbles last night. She seems nice, smart, attractive, has her shit together but under politics it says "conservative." So I just asked her if that was like some subjective term reflecting a leaning towards fiscal responsibility or if she's rolling with him. She said, "Is it a dealbreaker that I voted for Trump? I'm independent and have voted for both parties in the past."
I wouldn't have thought it was but she doesn't seem to regret it and I think it might be. Am I being closed-minded?
But if she's still OK with Trump she's OK with white supremacists marching through the streets and locking babies in cages, amongst other things.
Bandwagon fan of the 2023 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Soooo many things! I know.brian wrote: ↑Wed Feb 20, 2019 3:32 pmNo, should be a deal-breaker IMO (unless she laments voting for him in which case let your conscience be your guide).Jerloma wrote: ↑Wed Feb 20, 2019 3:22 pm So I started talking to some girl on the Bumbles last night. She seems nice, smart, attractive, has her shit together but under politics it says "conservative." So I just asked her if that was like some subjective term reflecting a leaning towards fiscal responsibility or if she's rolling with him. She said, "Is it a dealbreaker that I voted for Trump? I'm independent and have voted for both parties in the past."
I wouldn't have thought it was but she doesn't seem to regret it and I think it might be. Am I being closed-minded?
But if she's still OK with Trump she's OK with white supremacists marching through the streets and locking babies in cages, amongst other things.
I was going to just say yes and move on but I guess I could just say it's a dealbreaker if she hasn't yet come to terms with the fact that decision was misguided. 99% chance it won't end well but it doesn't matter anyway.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Just go back to sucking condom covered dicks. You will get used to it and the income will be off the books.Jerloma wrote: ↑Wed Feb 20, 2019 3:41 pmSoooo many things! I know.brian wrote: ↑Wed Feb 20, 2019 3:32 pmNo, should be a deal-breaker IMO (unless she laments voting for him in which case let your conscience be your guide).Jerloma wrote: ↑Wed Feb 20, 2019 3:22 pm So I started talking to some girl on the Bumbles last night. She seems nice, smart, attractive, has her shit together but under politics it says "conservative." So I just asked her if that was like some subjective term reflecting a leaning towards fiscal responsibility or if she's rolling with him. She said, "Is it a dealbreaker that I voted for Trump? I'm independent and have voted for both parties in the past."
I wouldn't have thought it was but she doesn't seem to regret it and I think it might be. Am I being closed-minded?
But if she's still OK with Trump she's OK with white supremacists marching through the streets and locking babies in cages, amongst other things.
I was going to just say yes and move on but I guess I could just say it's a dealbreaker if she hasn't yet come to terms with the fact that decision was misguided. 99% chance it won't end well but it doesn't matter anyway.
To quote both Bruce Prichard and Tony Schiavone, "Fuck Duff Meltzer."
- Pruitt
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Tits?
"beautiful, with an exotic-yet-familiar facial structure and an arresting gaze."
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Just write her a song on your first date:
mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.
EnochRoot wrote:I mean, whatever. Johnnie's all hot cuz I ride him.
- The Sybian
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Before Trump, I would have said it'd be crazy to make that a dealbreaker. Not sure I could get past it, if she didn't regret the choice. Maybe if she is one of those that thinks he is horrible but Hillary was worse, and yeah he is pretty horrible, but she doesn't support all the bullshit. Naw, I couldn't do it.Jerloma wrote: ↑Wed Feb 20, 2019 3:22 pm So I started talking to some girl on the Bumbles last night. She seems nice, smart, attractive, has her shit together but under politics it says "conservative." So I just asked her if that was like some subjective term reflecting a leaning towards fiscal responsibility or if she's rolling with him. She said, "Is it a dealbreaker that I voted for Trump? I'm independent and have voted for both parties in the past."
I wouldn't have thought it was but she doesn't seem to regret it and I think it might be. Am I being closed-minded?
Just wondering, but would you date someone who said they are Christian or religious in their bio?
OTOH, fuck her in the ass and take out some frustration, nothing wrong with that.
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt
-Pruitt
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Yeah, she's gotta be willing to troll for other women for your menag'. Then whatever the hell she thinks in her own pretty little head is fine by me.
Noli Timere Messorem
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Consensually, of course.The Sybian wrote: ↑Wed Feb 20, 2019 4:51 pm OTOH, fuck her in the ass and take out some frustration, nothing wrong with that.
Bandwagon fan of the 2023 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
It would require a thorough screening.The Sybian wrote: ↑Wed Feb 20, 2019 4:51 pm Just wondering, but would you date someone who said they are Christian or religious in their bio?
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
how hot is she?
MOTHERFUCKING 2017 WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS!!!Gunpowder wrote:you transcend douchedom.
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Yeah, why not hate fuck her? Get the anal consensually and after you're done, shit in her MAGA hat and tell her she's no Tammy Lahren.
well this is gonna be someone's new signature - bronto
- A_B
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Or how about we all treat women with respect and not use them as devices towards our own sexual ends?
ETA: I think that most people here do treat women well, mind you, but some of this talk is dangerously close to the "locker room" talk that justifies the way a lot of men treat women. I certainly wouldn't want my liberal daughter to end up in a situation where some MAGA chud acted like this and then went back and high fived his buddies saying he "owned the libs."
ETA: I think that most people here do treat women well, mind you, but some of this talk is dangerously close to the "locker room" talk that justifies the way a lot of men treat women. I certainly wouldn't want my liberal daughter to end up in a situation where some MAGA chud acted like this and then went back and high fived his buddies saying he "owned the libs."
Hold on, I'm trying to see if Jack London ever gets this fire built or not.
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Yeah, my comment was geared in that direction but I agree 100 percent. If you want to have sex with someone, have sex with them, even if you don't want to see them again, but having sex because they don't support your political views is...weird.A_B wrote: ↑Thu Feb 21, 2019 11:41 am Or how about we all treat women with respect and not use them as devices towards our own sexual ends?
ETA: I think that most people here do treat women well, mind you, but some of this talk is dangerously close to the "locker room" talk that justifies the way a lot of men treat women. I certainly wouldn't want my liberal daughter to end up in a situation where some MAGA chud acted like this and then went back and high fived his buddies saying he "owned the libs."
Bandwagon fan of the 2023 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Someone who voted for trump would be a non-starter for me. Don’t know how to ever get past that.
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Yeah, I wasn't being serious.A_B wrote: ↑Thu Feb 21, 2019 11:41 am Or how about we all treat women with respect and not use them as devices towards our own sexual ends?
ETA: I think that most people here do treat women well, mind you, but some of this talk is dangerously close to the "locker room" talk that justifies the way a lot of men treat women. I certainly wouldn't want my liberal daughter to end up in a situation where some MAGA chud acted like this and then went back and high fived his buddies saying he "owned the libs."
well this is gonna be someone's new signature - bronto
- The Sybian
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
I figured y'all would realize I was joking. And not in the locker room sense, but making fun of meatheads who would make comments like that (and vote for Trump).brian wrote: ↑Thu Feb 21, 2019 11:48 amYeah, my comment was geared in that direction but I agree 100 percent. If you want to have sex with someone, have sex with them, even if you don't want to see them again, but having sex because they don't support your political views is...weird.A_B wrote: ↑Thu Feb 21, 2019 11:41 am Or how about we all treat women with respect and not use them as devices towards our own sexual ends?
ETA: I think that most people here do treat women well, mind you, but some of this talk is dangerously close to the "locker room" talk that justifies the way a lot of men treat women. I certainly wouldn't want my liberal daughter to end up in a situation where some MAGA chud acted like this and then went back and high fived his buddies saying he "owned the libs."
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt
-Pruitt
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
I dug a little deeper and concluded that she's at the very least a racist and probably a poor excuse for an educator. She is a Barre instructor as well, but no.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
She can't talk politics with your dick in her mouth -- would be something a chud would say.
BFJ is the town wizard who runs a magic shop. He also has a golem that he has trained to attack anti-Semites.
- The Sybian
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
See, BFJ gets it.
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
I've actually been hanging out with a girl in my tennis circles that's almost suspiciously perfect for me. She's an evolutionary anthropology teacher, liberal, sciencey, cute, awesome tennis and ping pong player, plays guitar, loves weed, and just oozes cool. Terrified to make any sort of move though.
I get the whole regret is worse than rejection thing but not really when you still have to see the person all the time. I also don't want to make it weird and throw away a beneficial friendship.
I get the whole regret is worse than rejection thing but not really when you still have to see the person all the time. I also don't want to make it weird and throw away a beneficial friendship.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God