CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Thu Jan 30, 2014 3:18 pm

When I see you for the first time that day and say "how are you," it's not an invitation to give me details about your kidney stone and describe the process of inserting a stent prior to laser removal. Especially since I have only spoken to you once before. Not to mention, I have heard you detail your stones 20 times already since you feel the need to tell everyone 20 decibels above normal speaking voice. Please, transfer back to the New York office.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Thu Jan 30, 2014 4:02 pm

When I inprocessed I was taught that you are going to get a story when asking that to a German. Or you will first get a weird look unless you know him/her because Germans don't get that that's just a colloquialism. They don't get all feelingsy until you get to know them.

Here's some etiquette:

Don't send me a fucking email when you sit right next to me. Unless it is a bunch of info I need that would take too long to explain, whatever you send can be told to me.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Thu Jan 30, 2014 4:06 pm

Johnnie wrote:When I inprocessed I was taught that you are going to get a story when asking that to a German. Or you will first get a weird look unless you know him/her because Germans don't get that that's just a colloquialism. They don't get all feelingsy until you get to know them.

Here's some etiquette:

Don't send me a fucking email when you sit right next to me. Unless it is a bunch of info I need that would take too long to explain, whatever you send can be told to me.

Digital trail, baby!

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Thu Jan 30, 2014 4:12 pm

We're moving buildings in two months and I'm moving from an office to a cube now that all non-managers or non-execs will not have offices. BUT, my cube will some how have a door on it. Not really sure why that is necessary.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Thu Jan 30, 2014 4:14 pm

Giff wrote:We're moving buildings in two months and I'm moving from an office to a cube now that all non-managers or non-execs will not have offices. BUT, my cube will some how have a door on it. Not really sure why that is necessary.

So you can masturbate in peace?

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Thu Jan 30, 2014 4:16 pm

AB_skin_test wrote:Digital trail, baby!

It's easiest way I can determine whether I should respect you or just your rank.

Kind of along the same topic is being CC'd at the tail end of an email chain giving you some tasker on behalf of a commander from over a week ago saying that something needs to be acted on right now and the answer could have been given by the guy that sent it -- last week.

Sorry, I'm going back into "Johnnie hates the Air Force" mode like I used to be in when I first logged on here way back in August 2005-ish. It's not even my job either. Logistics is great. It's the abundance of people who think they know my job and when I tell them they're wrong they get mad. The hour long conversation between myself and vice commander a month or so ago on what I do there got him heated. When I told people about it you would have thought that I wrote my death sentence or something. I just don't jive in an environment where there's no definitive role and responsibility handed to me.

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Thu Jan 30, 2014 4:21 pm

A Les Nessman door?

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Thu Jan 30, 2014 4:22 pm

The Sybian wrote:
Giff wrote:We're moving buildings in two months and I'm moving from an office to a cube now that all non-managers or non-execs will not have offices. BUT, my cube will some how have a door on it. Not really sure why that is necessary.
So you can masturbate in peace?

I better be able to!

Rush2112 · Post by **Rush2112** » Thu Jan 30, 2014 4:26 pm

One of the managers in our tech services department (catalogers) has a cube that 6 feet walls and a door. Don't know why the door is there, tippy-toes or a chair you can look and anything above a whisper can be heard.

howard · Post by **howard** » Thu Jan 30, 2014 4:36 pm

degenerasian wrote:A Les Nessman door?

Beat me. I was searching for an image or clip. Found the episode with Sparky Anderson, which beats working.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Thu Jan 30, 2014 5:23 pm

Back during my college years, I worked a summer temp job in an office. One day there was this woman who sat a short distance from me who had just become a grandmother and was making her rounds calling family members to tell them the news. She felt compelled to divulge an inordinate amount of detail; specifically, that during the birth process the baby had gotten its umbilical cord wrapped around its neck, and in a panic, "had a bowel movement" in the mother's womb. Cue near-verbatim repetitions of this story throughout the day within clear auditory distance of multiple co-workers.

So I guess what I'm saying in regard to the thread topic is, don't do this.

Post by **brian** » Thu Jan 30, 2014 6:36 pm

So glad I work from home.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Thu Jan 30, 2014 6:44 pm

My boss from my old job just called me to ask how to burn a cd.

Post by **Sabo** » Thu Jan 30, 2014 6:48 pm

brian wrote:So glad I work from home.

Co-sign. I feel much more productive working here than in an office.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Thu Jan 30, 2014 7:58 pm

The Sybian wrote:When I see you for the first time that day and say "how are you," it's not an invitation to give me details about your kidney stone and describe the process of inserting a stent prior to laser removal. Especially since I have only spoken to you once before. Not to mention, I have heard you detail your stones 20 times already since you feel the need to tell everyone 20 decibels above normal speaking voice. Please, transfer back to the New York office.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Thu Jan 30, 2014 8:05 pm

Sabo wrote:
brian wrote:So glad I work from home.
Co-sign. I feel much more productive working here than in an office.

I'll third it. I haven't had any business travel for a month, so I've been really enjoying just working from home. Getting back on the road next week, so I'm savoring it right now.

Sometimes the ridiculousness of an office can be entertaining, though. Like the time years ago (back in the days when we wore ties at work) when the dude who worked in the mailroom was feeding paper into an industrial strength paper shredder and accidentally started feeding in his necktie. You could hear him screaming all over the office, as his neck was being pulled toward the shredder. He, or somebody else, got it turned off in plenty of time, and once it was over everybody in the office was laughing about it.

Scottie · Post by **Scottie** » Thu Jan 30, 2014 8:10 pm

sancarlos wrote:
Sabo wrote:
brian wrote:So glad I work from home.
Co-sign. I feel much more productive working here than in an office.
I'll third it.

Fourthed.

govmentchedda · Post by **govmentchedda** » Thu Jan 30, 2014 9:44 pm

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Wed Feb 05, 2014 11:56 am

I could just murder people sometimes. We were scheduled to have a team meeting at 10am but there are some people away today due to illness. So about 15 minutes before the meeting my manager emails everyone to cancel the meeting. The lady a few cubes away feels that it is her duty to walk around and yell at the top of her lungs that the meeting's been cancelled. Yes, we all got the email, we can all read. Plus I'm on the phone with someone in Toronto, they don't need to hear someone screaming about that. Plus she needs confirmation that we heard her..

"Pete! The meeting's been canceled, Pete?"
"I'm on the fucking phone!"

The guy beside me was on the phone too. What's worse now is that the meeting is cancelled she feels that she doesn't have to work in that period of time so she's shuffled off somewhere to talk to other people. The guy beside me has gone to talk to the manager about this while I'm still on the phone.

howard · Post by **howard** » Wed Feb 05, 2014 12:10 pm

degenerasian wrote:Yes, we all got the email, we can all read. Plus I'm on the phone with someone in Toronto, they don't need to hear someone screaming about that. Plus she needs confirmation that we heard her..

"I'm on the fucking phone!"

Five points made. With only five words. That is effective communication.

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Wed Feb 05, 2014 12:27 pm

howard wrote:
degenerasian wrote:Yes, we all got the email, we can all read. Plus I'm on the phone with someone in Toronto, they don't need to hear someone screaming about that. Plus she needs confirmation that we heard her..

"I'm on the fucking phone!"
Five points made. With only five words. That is effective communication.

Guy comes back to his cube after talking to the manager, sits down and immediately I hear "oh for fuck's sake!" and he's gone right back into the manager's office.

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Wed Feb 05, 2014 12:42 pm

as much as I enjoy working from home and getting to watch TV all day (early afternoon TV sucks though), I do miss the human interaction at times. Even if it's with crazy people.

Scottie · Post by **Scottie** » Wed Feb 05, 2014 12:46 pm

Brontoburglar wrote:as much as I enjoy working from home and getting to watch TV all day (early afternoon TV sucks though), I do miss the human interaction at times. Even if it's with crazy people.

But after a stretch, maybe six weeks at the most, you'd be heavily lamenting working from home again.

I am looking forward to what happens next in Degen's morning office drama.

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Wed Feb 05, 2014 12:50 pm

Scottie wrote:
Brontoburglar wrote:as much as I enjoy working from home and getting to watch TV all day (early afternoon TV sucks though), I do miss the human interaction at times. Even if it's with crazy people.
But after a stretch, maybe six weeks at the most, you'd be heavily lamenting working from home again.

I am looking forward to what happens next in Degen's morning office drama.

Oh, I agree. I much prefer this to an office. I think of the time I'm saving (and the miles on my car) not commuting.

It's now about trying to get out of the house for a few hours at a time other than for a workout and whatever. I communicate with a lot of people throughout the day -- I just would like for more of it to be verbal.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Wed Feb 05, 2014 12:53 pm

I do my communicating with people I want to communicate with, at places like BDubs. I don't want to be forced to talk to annoying people in an office.

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Wed Feb 05, 2014 1:03 pm

Gunpowder wrote:I do my communicating with people I want to communicate with, at places like BDubs. I don't want to be forced to talk to annoying people in an office.

I thankfully didn't work with many annoying people in my three years. Or at least the annoying people were at different sites. So I've been spoiled a lot in that regard.

Now working on-site at a gym was a different story.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Wed Feb 05, 2014 1:07 pm

Yeah but you got to shower with dudes there and that sounds like heaven

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Wed Feb 05, 2014 1:19 pm

But you don't get to work to oogle hot girls on the subway on every commute or at the office. Moreso on the subway.

When the guy sat down he read an email from Corporate informing him of a huge mistake made in records, the lawyer ended up with the wrong document for a hearing. Guess who made that error. That lady.

I'm glad she is under his supervision and not mine (he and I are the two leads under this manager taking care of different divisions. He is records and I am data). He's wanted to fire her forever but management is always gunshy cause she's been here a decade. Even though we're not government and not union we are sort of a government sub-division so there are a lot of traits that you all are familiar with, like government employees never get fired.

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Wed Feb 05, 2014 1:45 pm

Gunpowder wrote:Yeah but you got to shower with dudes there and that sounds like heaven

CONFESSIONS THREAD: In the 13 years of going to and working at the same YMCA, I never showered there.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Wed Feb 05, 2014 1:51 pm

And Bronto confesses that he never saw any stranger penis. What a weird dude

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Wed Feb 05, 2014 1:53 pm

you don't need to shower to see that

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Wed Feb 05, 2014 2:02 pm

degenerasian wrote:But you don't get to work to oogle hot girls on the subway on every commute or at the office. Moreso on the subway.

When I was in New York and living in Hoboken and working in New York, absolutely. The PATH train into NYC was almost entirely between the ages of 22 and 32, and all the women were dolled up. Then there were the years I frequently went to Bryant park for lunch. That area used to be the fashion district and the hub of fashion week. Besides for all of the girls working in the fashion industry, the park was always full of models and many celebrities. One day I saw Alessandra Amborsio hanging out with a gaggle of gawkers around her. Another time, right around Fashion Week, Lindsay Lohan was hanging out with a couple of really cute girls and a guy who was some sort of celebrity that other people recognized but I didn't. He looked like a major douche. A really good looking douche.

With Homeland Security, I absolutely loved working in an office. The other attorneys were really cool, I hung out with them after work a lot and I am still close with a couple of them. One girl brought around her single friends for me and I hooked up with several of them. The other girl is probably the hottest girl I have ever seen (other than my wife, of course). We were really good friends, too good, but her insecurities would have been unbearable as a boyfriend anyways. Last I heard, she still wasn't married. Went years without a boyfriend because she had zero confidence. So don't be afraid to aim high, boys!

Working and living in the 'burbs kills that, though. Commute is answering 1,000 questions from my daughter until i unload her at daycare. I haven't worked with any eye candy since I left the city, and I have no need to socialize with people from work anymore, so home is a much better option. Man do I miss NYC! I get a little stir crazy working from home, like I am today. I don't get out much in the evenings anymore, so I don't mind putting up with the jerkoff sales guy who constantly talks to himself and others way too loud. and when he isn't talking, he sings to the sales guy that sits next to me, who is infinitely patient. I'm in a cube for the first time in my life, and it kind of sucks. It took a while to get used to all the noise, lack of privacy, and inability to rip a fart whenever I want. Now, I have to time piss breaks to coincide with gas buildups.

Post by **brian** » Wed Feb 05, 2014 2:08 pm

I get to head back to the office in STL three times a year so it's kind of the best of both worlds. I get a week to socialize, shoot the shit, go out for drinks after work and at the end of those weeks I'm always glad I get to go back to my office and get away from those people for another three or four months or so.

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Wed Feb 05, 2014 4:25 pm

degenerasian wrote:you don't need to shower to see that

hellllll no. not when you turn the corner and the lockers are right there

not having to use the locker room is one of the benefits of living within 5 minutes of the gym

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed May 28, 2014 8:42 am

Is there a more awkward office scenario than dealing with a heavy breather who leaves him/herself unmuted on conference calls?

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Wed May 28, 2014 8:50 am

Johnny Carwash wrote:Is there a more awkward office scenario than dealing with a heavy breather who leaves him/herself unmuted on conference calls?

Unless they're the only one on the call remotely, I always throw out the "remember to mute your lines if you're not speaking" line when I hear that.

We just moved buildings and I went from an office to an "offical". It's a cube with a sliding door. I only use it when I'm on conference calls, but mutherfuckers can still look right over when they walk past.

Keg · Post by **Keg** » Wed May 28, 2014 6:27 pm

I was on work travel with a colleague last week...really dorky guy who I have very little in common with (he doesn't like sports).

Dude copied every single one of my orders every time we went out to eat. It started pissing me off after a while.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Wed May 28, 2014 11:16 pm

Working from home, I am on lots of remote conference calls with folks in offices. I always try to remember to mute when I'm not talking, because too many times now, the mailman/UPS/Fedex/wife's friend would come to the door and my dog would go nuts. Much to my co-workers' amusement.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Thu Jul 03, 2014 1:09 pm

Hate, HATE, when someone requests document changes that they could've made themselves in less time than it takes to request someone else to do it.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Fri Jul 11, 2014 8:39 am

P.D.X. wrote:Hate, HATE, when someone requests document changes that they could've made themselves in less time than it takes to request someone else to do it.

Drives me nuts. Or when you're asked by someone to ask someone else for something. "Hey, can you ask Corporate Support to request the logs and send them to us?" Yeah, why can't you just ask Corporate Support yourself?