Culinary Hot Takes

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Wed Jun 08, 2022 12:14 pm

L-Jam3 wrote: Wed Jun 08, 2022 11:29 am Caviar ain't shit. The idea of caviar is bigger than the taste of caviar.

They are tiny balls of concentrated salt that made me feel like the salt shaker opened on my cracker and I took a bite. It's fucking gross.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed Jun 08, 2022 12:16 pm

Johnnie wrote: Wed Jun 08, 2022 12:14 pmThey are tiny balls of concentrated salt that made me feel like the salt shaker opened ... my crack... and ... took a bite. I... fuck... gross.

???

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Wed Jun 08, 2022 12:43 pm

mister d wrote: Wed Jun 08, 2022 12:13 pm What's stopping you?

COVID?

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed Jun 08, 2022 12:49 pm

Those are some serious restrictions.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Wed Jun 08, 2022 12:58 pm

mister d wrote: Wed Jun 08, 2022 12:49 pm Those are some serious restrictions.

I just don't have the ingredients man.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Fri Jun 10, 2022 12:01 pm

I don't ever need to try "Altoona-style" pizza to know it's disgusting. Dried out Sicilian dough, salami, bell pepper and american cheese. Fuck off, Altoona.

L-Jam3 · Post by **L-Jam3** » Fri Jun 10, 2022 12:08 pm

Oh God, fuck Altoona for producing that. And just to be safe in case he had anything to do with that, fuck Al Toon, too.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Fri Jun 10, 2022 12:08 pm

Jesus christ.

GoodKarma · Post by **GoodKarma** » Fri Jun 10, 2022 1:12 pm

Wtf…are you sure that’s not some prank?

Nonlinear FC · Post by **Nonlinear FC** » Fri Jun 10, 2022 1:17 pm

It's legit. I actually feel like seen it on this board before?

But, yeah, I remember looking it up and it's a real thing in Altoona. Though, I also recall reading an article where there are definitely a number of folks in Altoona that aren't familiar.

I mean, no offense, but... Talk about Pennsyltucky... That place is legit in the middle of nowhere.

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Fri Jun 10, 2022 1:24 pm

I want to invent and name terrible food after all the worst cities. Like Johnny Appleseed except with a bologna sandwich with fennel and cantaloupe

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Fri Jun 10, 2022 1:24 pm

(The Lowell Melt)

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Fri Jun 10, 2022 1:41 pm

Boursin cheese and warm grape jelly in sundried tomato wrap (Main Line, PA).

Nonlinear FC · Post by **Nonlinear FC** » Fri Jun 10, 2022 2:09 pm

Olive Salad -- Fredericksburg Slaw

(Those who've traveled 95 thru VA know.)

((Oh... Also, I hate olives.))

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Fri Jun 10, 2022 3:36 pm

Anyone watch Guga or Nick DiGiovanni on YouTube? I'm kinda surprised that they call out Salt Bae, but only after actually paying for his bullshit overpriced steak.

rass · Post by **rass** » Tue Jun 28, 2022 6:43 pm

Croutons are a great idea and great on their own but just make things difficult when used as intended.

pruitt2 · Post by **pruitt2** » Tue Jun 28, 2022 7:17 pm

The best brussels sprouts I've ever had were barely better than not eating at all. And those were expensive ones in a restaurant that I simply "had to have."

Hate them so much, but my wife loves them which means that every ten days or so the house stinks like a skunk shat out cauliflower.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Tue Jun 28, 2022 7:31 pm

pruitt2 wrote: Tue Jun 28, 2022 7:17 pm The best brussels sprouts I've ever had were barely better than not eating at all. And those were expensive ones in a restaurant that I simply "had to have."

Hate them so much, but my wife loves them which means that every ten days or so the house stinks like a skunk shat out cauliflower.

When was the last time you had them? They've actually been engineered to taste better than years ago. Every time I get them, they've been excellent. I hated them as a kid. My mom just did what every mom did to greens: boiled them -- so I hated vegetables. These days though? All greens taste great to me.

It's Not Your Imagination, Brussels Sprouts Really Do Taste Better Now

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Wed Jun 29, 2022 8:47 am

Johnnie wrote: Tue Jun 28, 2022 7:31 pm
pruitt2 wrote: Tue Jun 28, 2022 7:17 pm The best brussels sprouts I've ever had were barely better than not eating at all. And those were expensive ones in a restaurant that I simply "had to have."

Hate them so much, but my wife loves them which means that every ten days or so the house stinks like a skunk shat out cauliflower.
When was the last time you had them? They've actually been engineered to taste better than years ago. Every time I get them, they've been excellent. I hated them as a kid. My mom just did what every mom did to greens: boiled them -- so I hated vegetables. These days though? All greens taste great to me.

It's Not Your Imagination, Brussels Sprouts Really Do Taste Better Now

Mind blown! I started to really enjoy Brussel sprouts about 5 years ago and assumed my tastes changed. Probably still a factor, but I used to find them so vile. About the only food I couldn't tolerate.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Wed Jun 29, 2022 8:57 am

WE never had them growing up but I assume that my grandfather (I grew up with my mother and grandparents in same home) didn't care for them. that was usually the reason if there was a food I didn't try when I was young. And it's double strange because that man would eat an onion like an apple and quite enjoyed souse.

govmentchedda · Post by **govmentchedda** » Wed Jun 29, 2022 9:08 am

Was the onion as an apple a way to boost his immune system? A friend's grandfather used to do that.

Also, roasted brussels sprouts with salt, pepper, and olive oil are delicious. Growing up, I only seem to remember them being cooked via boiling.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Wed Jun 29, 2022 9:09 am

I don't think my grandfather ever considered immunity or any other benefits other than he was no longer hungry after eating whatever he was eating. This is also the man who, one time when it was just me and him at home for a weekend, told me to just use water on my apple jacks.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed Jun 29, 2022 9:58 am

I was just telling the kids how I stayed with my paternal grandmother for a weekend when I was like 8 and she ran out of milk for cereal and subbed in orange juice like it was nothing. She was originally from Kentucky so I guess this all makes sense now.

(She also nearly died in her 70s because she used to just eat shit that was growing in the yard, intentionally or not, and got into something poisonous.)

pruitt2 · Post by **pruitt2** » Wed Jun 29, 2022 10:20 am

Johnnie wrote: Tue Jun 28, 2022 7:31 pm
pruitt2 wrote: Tue Jun 28, 2022 7:17 pm The best brussels sprouts I've ever had were barely better than not eating at all. And those were expensive ones in a restaurant that I simply "had to have."

Hate them so much, but my wife loves them which means that every ten days or so the house stinks like a skunk shat out cauliflower.
When was the last time you had them? They've actually been engineered to taste better than years ago. Every time I get them, they've been excellent. I hated them as a kid. My mom just did what every mom did to greens: boiled them -- so I hated vegetables. These days though? All greens taste great to me.

It's Not Your Imagination, Brussels Sprouts Really Do Taste Better Now

Sunday night.

rass · Post by **rass** » Wed Jun 29, 2022 10:24 am

Because it's relevant to the recent turn in this thread but I'd hate to be the type of poster who repeats the same stories over and over again.

L-Jam3 · Post by **L-Jam3** » Wed Jun 29, 2022 12:36 pm

govmentchedda wrote: Wed Jun 29, 2022 9:08 am Also, roasted brussels sprouts with salt, pepper, and olive oil are delicious. Growing up, I only seem to remember them being cooked via boiling.

I was going to offer a similar recipe to our man Pruitt, noting that sprinkling crumbled bacon to finish them would put it up a notch, but… yeah… that.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed Jun 29, 2022 12:57 pm

Orrrrrrr ... don't use actual bacon on it but cook the sprouts in saved grease.

L-Jam3 · Post by **L-Jam3** » Wed Jun 29, 2022 1:01 pm

mister d wrote: Wed Jun 29, 2022 12:57 pm Orrrrrrr ... don't use actual bacon on it but cook the sprouts in saved grease.

Ooooooooh. I totally forgot about Pru’s heart health and instead I was making a kosher joke.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Wed Jun 29, 2022 1:29 pm

Similarly, I used to detest cauliflower. But now, my wife roasts it with olive oil and herbs and spices. Voila! I like it! (Romanesco, too!)

pruitt2 · Post by **pruitt2** » Wed Jun 29, 2022 2:50 pm

L-Jam3 wrote: Wed Jun 29, 2022 1:01 pm
mister d wrote: Wed Jun 29, 2022 12:57 pm Orrrrrrr ... don't use actual bacon on it but cook the sprouts in saved grease.
Ooooooooh. I totally forgot about Pru’s heart health and instead I was making a kosher joke.

I was going to make a joke about both! (But only the heart is relevant)

Rush2112 · Post by **Rush2112** » Fri Jul 01, 2022 1:45 pm

I am now smoking a brisket that I had in a sous vide for about 26 hours. It looks phenomenal...and the sauce I made from the juices is damn tasty.

ETA while wearing my Schwartz's Smoked Meats shirt.

pruitt2 · Post by **pruitt2** » Sat Jul 02, 2022 5:51 am

Rush2112 wrote: Fri Jul 01, 2022 1:45 pm I am now smoking a brisket that I had in a sous vide for about 26 hours. It looks phenomenal...and the sauce I made from the juices is damn tasty.

ETA while wearing my Schwartz's Smoked Meats shirt.

Céline Dion is in the Jewish Deli Business

: Celine Schwartz.jpeg (163.81 KiB) Viewed 2588 times

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed Aug 03, 2022 7:12 pm

The pizza place tonight’s hot take was “a request of half pepperoni + half meatball does not imply different halves”.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed Aug 03, 2022 7:16 pm

mister d wrote: Wed Aug 03, 2022 7:12 pm The pizza place tonight’s hot take was “a request of half pepperoni + half meatball does not imply different halves”.

What does this mean? Is it that they give you half as much of each, but spread both over the whole pie?

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed Aug 03, 2022 7:53 pm

Nope, full half servings of both but on the same half.

rass · Post by **rass** » Wed Aug 03, 2022 8:11 pm

You need to march back in there and speak to them in terms they can’t help but understand.

Hey-o! Look-a atta my pie! You gotta da balls mixed up-a wid da sauseege! Oh!

cerranoredux · Post by **cerranoredux** » Wed Aug 03, 2022 8:16 pm

mister d wrote: Wed Aug 03, 2022 7:53 pm Nope, full half servings of both but on the same half.

Please tell me if this was Maplewood Pizza. We’re ordering from there for the first time next week and I want to make sure we get the correct pie.

HaulCitgo · Post by **HaulCitgo** » Wed Aug 03, 2022 8:48 pm

Disbelief. That can't exist

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed Aug 03, 2022 8:59 pm

It was not Maplewood Pizza. How did you pick that one out of the dozen in the two towns?

cerranoredux · Post by **cerranoredux** » Wed Aug 03, 2022 9:19 pm

mister d wrote: Wed Aug 03, 2022 8:59 pm It was not Maplewood Pizza. How did you pick that one out of the dozen in the two towns?

Had it while I was at a poker game a few weeks ago and was going to give it another go. New neighbors just moved in from Maplewood and they thought it was pretty good. We’ve been trying different places since Joes summit closed so we’re putting this on the list.