The Official Swamp Dating Thread

[mister d]

Parker Posey-Parker?

[Shirley]

Busy week. I am upgraded to "exclusively in a relationship"...

[insert Ted Knight gif]

Damn, that was fast!

[sancarlos]

Well, that t was fast, TB. We need the details!

[DSafetyGuy]

I just checked and am relieved the side effects of Ozempic do not include "hallucinating an imaginary romantic partner".

[tennbengal]

She seems real enough. There is a connection to a swamper - this truly is a small world/small baltimore area/etc...

[wlu_lax6]

She seems real enough. There is a connection to a swamper - this truly is a small world/small baltimore area/etc...

Not my high school girlfriend I hope

[degenerasian]

Dating when older is a lot faster, both parties know what they want.

Got a buddy who's 38, was in a relationship with someone 7 years younger for over a year and it ended up going nowhere, just a lot of mixed signals.

Now he's dating a 40 year old, 2 months in they're really serious, about to move in together.

[tennbengal]

She seems real enough. There is a connection to a swamper - this truly is a small world/small baltimore area/etc...

Not my high school girlfriend I hope

no. But...sent you a message.

[tennbengal]

Dating when older is a lot faster, both parties know what they want

Nods. Pretty easy to fast forward some things at this age. I wasn't looking, like I said a few months back when considering dating again, that I was looking to date a ton of people necessarily. So, if you find someone that you click with, pretty simple matter to not date a lot of people and see where things go with that person. Which is where we are at.

[mister d]

Its not his wife, right? That wouldn't be cool.

[tennbengal]

Its not his wife, right? That wouldn't be cool.

Pretty sure no. That would indeed be awkward. But quite a turn for this thread.

[sancarlos]

She seems real enough. There is a connection to a swamper - this truly is a small world/small baltimore area/etc...

Not my high school girlfriend I hope

no. But...sent you a message.

Wlu, I didn’t even know your mom was on the market.

[tennbengal]

Consider this my love letter to all of you, my special internet friends, that I have teed this up for each and every one of you...

[P.D.X.]

Now he's dating a 40 year old, 2 months in they're really serious, about to move in together.

Guh that's my nightmare. I'm pretty committed to non-cohabitation and I've yet to have a negative response when I've told women this. (of course that's not gonna fly for the ones who are trying to capture lightning at the end of their fertility window but that hasn't come up for me in a bit)

[wlu_lax6]

She seems real enough. There is a connection to a swamper - this truly is a small world/small baltimore area/etc...

Not my high school girlfriend I hope

no. But...sent you a message.

The reason I sent this is my high school girlfriend lives in Hampden and divorced in the last 2 years or so. Very attractive gal. But while she dated me, she likely cheated on me during freshman year of college. She then dated my very good friend and likely cheated on him while at college, but my buddy and her got married. She then cheated on him with someone from law school, divorced my buddy and got married to the law school guy. And then heard she got divorced from him.

So figured that would have been trouble. I mean she does not like sports.

[wlu_lax6]

She seems real enough. There is a connection to a swamper - this truly is a small world/small baltimore area/etc...

Not my high school girlfriend I hope

no. But...sent you a message.

Wlu, I didn’t even know your mom was on the market.

that would have been worse than my high school girlfriend...

[HaulCitgo]

The guy is sandbagging.

[The Sybian]

She seems real enough. There is a connection to a swamper - this truly is a small world/small baltimore area/etc...

Not my high school girlfriend I hope

no. But...sent you a message.

The reason I sent this is my high school girlfriend lives in Hampden and divorced in the last 2 years or so. Very attractive gal. But while she dated me, she likely cheated on me during freshman year of college. She then dated my very good friend and likely cheated on him while at college, but my buddy and her got married. She then cheated on him with someone from law school, divorced my buddy and got married to the law school guy. And then heard she got divorced from him.

So figured that would have been trouble. I mean she does not like sports.

Really? Sounds like she loves playing the field.

[tennbengal]

The reason I sent this is my high school girlfriend lives in Hampden and divorced in the last 2 years or so. Very attractive gal.

Underrated humblebrag, wlu...

[degenerasian]

Now he's dating a 40 year old, 2 months in they're really serious, about to move in together.

Guh that's my nightmare. I'm pretty committed to non-cohabitation and I've yet to have a negative response when I've told women this. (of course that's not gonna fly for the ones who are trying to capture lightning at the end of their fertility window but that hasn't come up for me in a bit)

Exactly and you get that out of the way from the beginning.

[bfj]

She seems real enough. There is a connection to a swamper - this truly is a small world/small baltimore area/etc...

Not my high school girlfriend I hope

no. But...sent you a message.

The reason I sent this is my high school girlfriend lives in Hampden and divorced in the last 2 years or so. Very attractive gal. But while she dated me, she likely cheated on me during freshman year of college. She then dated my very good friend and likely cheated on him while at college, but my buddy and her got married. She then cheated on him with someone from law school, divorced my buddy and got married to the law school guy. And then heard she got divorced from him.

So figured that would have been trouble. I mean she does not like sports.

Now I need a name (since I probably know her).

[sancarlos]

Did the sex last night, you guys. It was good! I intend on doing more.

Hey, Jerloma. Saw an interesting post on Facebook. Do you have some news for us?

[govmentchedda]

Did the sex last night, you guys. It was good! I intend on doing more.

Hey, Jerloma. Saw an interesting post on Facebook. Do you have some news for us?

Ha! I don't think so. Unless he lied to me about it, he's down here for his cousin's wedding.

[mister d]

When down south …

[Nonlinear FC]

Do something with their mouth?

I'm not very good at this.

[A_B]

Do something with their mouth?

I'm not very good at this.

It's a marrying your cousin joke. Me and my aunt-wife Matilda are both furious.

[Nonlinear FC]

So, not necessarily NOT mouth related.

[The Sybian]

So, not necessarily NOT mouth related.

Hey, would you cunnilingus your mother with that mouth?

[Giff]

So, not necessarily NOT mouth related.

Hey, would you cunnilingus your mother with that mouth?

That reminds me of one of my most favorite random standup lines. Basically the guy was describing how puritan his mom was and that she would never come anywhere close to cursing. One time she burned her finger on the stove and said "Fiddlesticks" and he gasps and says "Mom! I hope that's not the mouth you suck dad's cock with!"

[elflaco2]

i spilled my coffe to LOL at that!

[Nonlinear FC]

Related topic: Is asking your wife for "mouth favors" appropriate?

I'll hang up and listen to the answer. Thanks.

[A_B]

I mean, 1000% yes. But the real number is higher.

[Nonlinear FC]

*calls back in*

Thanks, I'll try that when I get home and call back to report the results.

*click*

[mister d]

I feel like you're drastically reducing your odds if you use that phrasing.

[Nonlinear FC]

Wait... WHAT?!

Can I get some clear direction here?

(Full disclosure, I actually do say this when I'm being a jackass. And while I'm often in that mode, I try to use the phrase sparingly. So, like, only once an evening.)

[A_B]

You gotta step up to the plate. It's a three true outcomes situation:

Yes (HR)/ no (K)/ things get "hand"led (BB).

Sometimes the situation calls for an IBB, but these days that's usually for road games or IR stints.

[Jerloma]

Did the sex last night, you guys. It was good! I intend on doing more.

Hey, Jerloma. Saw an interesting post on Facebook. Do you have some news for us?

Ha. Yeah that confused a lot of people. Down here for my sister's wedding. I have no intention of ever remarrying.

[Giff]

You gotta step up to the plate. It's a three true outcomes situation:

Yes (HR)/ no (K)/ things get "hand"led (BB).

Sometimes the situation calls for an IBB, but these days that's usually for road games or IR stints.

Outstanding.

[A_B]

You gotta step up to the plate. It's a three true outcomes situation:

Yes (HR)/ no (K)/ things get "hand"led (BB).

Sometimes the situation calls for an IBB, but these days that's usually for road games or IR stints.

Outstanding.

Do NOT call to the bullpen, though.

[sancarlos]

*calls back in*

Thanks, I'll try that when I get home and call back to report the results.

*click*