2024 NFL MOCK DRAFT EXTRAVAGANZA

[Gunpowder]

I wonder if this is the latest the first defensive player has ever been taken?

As far as I can tell, yes

[HaulCitgo]

Golf clap party

[HaulCitgo]

Only now I understand all these QBs suck

[degenerasian]

No defense, going to turn NFL into college ball.

[HaulCitgo]

0/6 please

[brian]

If he’s still there around 16-18 don’t be surprised if the Lions trade up to draft Arnold.

[GoodKarma]

Nix is a nice fit in the Broncos

One thing I hate about getting old is with players today I can never tell if the women sitting next to them are their mothers, sisters or girlfriends.

[Gunpowder]

Damn just missed the Byron Murphy bet

[The Sybian]

Nix is a nice fit in the Broncos

One thing I hate about getting old is with players today I can never tell if the women sitting next to them are their mothers, sisters or girlfriends.

I just feel old because the GFs look like children and the moms are age appropriate for me.

[EnochRoot]

Nix is a nice fit in the Broncos

One thing I hate about getting old is with players today I can never tell if the women sitting next to them are their mothers, sisters or girlfriends.

I just feel old because the GFs look like children and the moms are age appropriate for me.

Oh, so now these are the women I'm supposed to be attracted to, because TV says these are the slightly over 50 crowd.

Me 30 years ago, seeing a 30 year old in a pub: "Man, I hope I'm not that guy one day."

[Jerloma]

I'd be okay with the center but if Mims is a right tackle, and they have to play Jones at right tackle even though he's a left tackle because Dan Moore can only play left tackle, that seems like a no-brainer.

I'd rather go after a tackle but I just have a feeling they're due for their first rounder center year.

The strange attachment to Dan Moore is baffling.

So I know this is great value but did we just draft another guy who can only play left tackle thereby resigning Jones to right tackle for the foreseeable future even though he's by all accounts a dominant left tackle?

[Gunpowder]

I’m sure fautanu can play on the right, Broderick jones was raw af and fautanu is not. He can even play guard if they want him to.

[Gunpowder]

Also he’s awesome and it’s generally good to pick the good players

[Jerloma]

What's your position on Steelers trading up to #9 with Denver to get the corner from Toledo, Todd? Been seeing this all over the Twitters.

I mean you never truly know until the guys actually play, but I think it would be dumb af.

He gives me too many Justin Gilbert vibes (only talking on-field) to be comfortable with that.

If you’re gonna trade up for a CB I’d make it Arnold. I think he’s gonna be the best CB in this class.

Well, there you go!

[Jerloma]

Also he’s awesome and it’s generally good to pick the good players

Fantastic point.

[Ryan]

Would rather hear it from Todd though, right?

[sancarlos]

Fun factoid: The kid the Raiders picked, Brock Bowers, grew up and went to high school in Napa, which is where the Raiders held training camp each summer, when they were based in Oakland.

[Rush2112]

I like the guy but that’s a pretty high slot. Although I guess insurance against Cousins isn’t a bad idea. Worst case he has time to develop.

He's 26 when the guaranteed dollars are off the board and 28 at the end of Cousins's contract.

[Todd McNeigh]

Round 2 before I go back to the stables for another year

MOCK TRADE!

BUFFALO TRADES the 33rd OVERALL PICK TO ARIZONA for 35th OVERALL, 186th OVERALL (6th ROUND), 226th OVERALL (7th ROUND) and their 2029 11th ROUND PICK

Brandon Beane continues to build towards his dream of making every single day 3 selection while also calling his shot on the league expanding to 11 rounds by 2029.


33. ARIZONA CARDINALS - Cooper Dejean, CB/S, Iowa

That’s right, everyone – we’ve got a white cornerback that’s going to go very high in this draft and the Cardinals can’t chance New England taking him off the board. Dejean is an athletic freak with an absurd high school dunk mixtape but I think he’s a potentially elite safety and that’s where I’d play him.


34. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS – Ladd McConkey, WR, Georgia

New England is reeling from the unexpected move by Arizona but lands themselves a fantastic consolation prize in Ladd McConkey, who was named by a poorly-trained AI generator. McConkey is a 4.4 guy with exceptional quickness, which he uses to exclusively catch passes within 5 yards of the line of scrimmage. He’s also potentially low enough to the ground to catch Drake Maye’s bounce passes.


MOCK TRADE!
BUFFALO TRADES the 35th OVERALL PICK to the LA CHARGERS for the 37th PICK, TWO 7th ROUND PICKS (225th and 253rd) and a 2025 7th ROUND PICK

Beane never really felt at home with the 35th pick and ships it off to LA for pick 37 and another handful of delightfully sweet 7th round picks.

35. LOS ANGELES CHARGERS – Keon Coleman, WR, Florida State

Adonai Mitchell’s biggest criticism is arguably that he takes off way too many plays, which wouldn’t sit well with a guy like Jim Harbaugh who insists that all of his players live every second as if it were their last. One thing the Chargers do like to do, however, is draft tall receivers that run much slower than people expected them to.


36. WASHINGTON COMMANDERS – Kool-Aid McKinstry
Washington needs to draft a corner as they haven’t taken one high since all the way back in 2023. Kool-Aid McKinstry has received fringe first-round grades from many draftniks and has the coolest name in the draft. Honestly though, what is stopping other players from just replacing their names with cool nicknames? There’s no reason we can’t also have Potato Salad Odunze and Peregrine Falcon Alt.


ANOTHER TRADE!
BUFFALO TRADES the 37th OVERALL PICK to GREEN BAY for the 41st OVERALL PICK, 202nd PICK, 219th PICK and 245th PICK

Buffalo continues to clean up as they aim to assemble the league’s greatest kickoff coverage unit, well after everyone has stopped watching the draft.

37. GREEN BAY PACKERS – JER’ZHAN “JOHNNY” NEWTON, DT, Illinois

Green Bay desperately needs some interior defensive line help and Johnny Newton is just sitting there, begging for a chance. I have athleticism concerns with Newton but he seems like a really, really good player who should have gone far higher than this. He will now be cheered on by thousands of people named Dale.


38. TENNESSEE TITANS – MIKE SAINRISTIL, CB, Michigan

I believe the Titans would likely take Newton if he were available, however in my mock he falls victim to Buffalo’s galaxy-brain strategy. Instead they pivot to the secondary and add Mike Sainristil, who is about 5 feet tall but a guy who has absurd levels of DOG in him. This is one of my favorite players in this year’s draft.



39. CAROLINA PANTHERS – JACKSON POWERS-JOHNSON, C, Oregon

Chalk pick for a team who needs a center and another great name is off the board. Powers-Johnson has some medical concerns but is easily the best center in this draft and had received first-round buzz in the lead-up to the draft. He can waste snaps for a few years by handing them to Bryce Young.


40. WASHINGTON COMMANDERS – ADONAI MITCHELL, WR, Texas

I can’t keep dropping Mitchell, as the options at other positions are starting to get quite meh.
I know he has lapses in effort and wasn’t as productive in college as you’d expect, but I think he easily has top-20 pure talent and that’s hard to pass up here, despite Buffalo’s insistence to the contrary.



TRADE – BUFFALO hands the 41st PICK to HOUSTON for the 42nd PICK and a 2025 5th ROUND PICK

Ok, I swear this is the last one. Buffalo handed their 2025 5th round pick to Houston as a part of the Stefon Diggs trade and I’ll bet that Brandon Beane is losing sleep over not having it.

41. HOUSTON TEXANS – ENNIS RAKESTRAW JR, CB, Missouri

Another elite name off the board. It just sounds “Houston” to me.


42. BUFFALO BILLS – TROY FRANKLIN, WR, Oregon

A desperate plea from Josh Allen to “get (their) f-ing act together” spurs Buffalo’s braintrust to finally make a selection, and they spend it on Oregon wideout Troy Franklin. Buffalo will head into the 2024 season with a wide receiver room consisting of the following:
Troy Franklin


43. ATLANTA FALCONS – SPENCER RATTLER, QB, South Carolina
Atlanta knows that when you see your guy, you just go and get him. Rattler should provide excellent camp competition for Kirk Cousins and Michael Penix Jr.

BREAKING NEWS: ATLANTA FIRES GM TERRY FONTENOT


44. OAKLAND RAIDERS – JONATHON BROOKS, RB, TEXAS

Eventually somebody is going to take a running back, might as well be the team who just lost a first round running back in free agency. Brooks is not a workhorse, he’s a human being – but he can probably handle a lot of carries.


45. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS – ZACH FRAZIER, C, West Virginia

The Saints need offensive linemen to give Derek Carr enough time to put up 2nd half garbage time numbers. Here’s a guy who plays interior offensive line!


46. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS – TJ TAMPA, CB, Iowa State

I like Tampa a lot but he ran damn near a 4.6 forty at his Pro Day and teams generally prefer their corners to be fast. However, he plays fast and he’s an absolute savage. Just feels like a Coltsy move.


47. NEW YORK GIANTS – JAYLEN WRIGHT, RB, Tennessee

The Giants need a running back and particularly one that can handle constant checkdowns from Daniel Jones. Wright has a Jah’Myr Gibbs/Alvin Kamara type of profile and I think he goes way higher than he’s been mocked.

48. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS – MARSHAWN KNEELAND, DT/EDGE, Western Michigan
The Jags could use help along their defensive line and Kneeland is a bit of a tweener who played inside and outside and helped Western Michigan hold the explosive Iowa Hawkeye offense to 41 points. No one will be paying any attention to what Jacksonville does so check your local newspaper on Monday to see who they picked here.
NOTE: I do actually like Kneeland as a prospect

TRADE – CINCINNATI TRADES THE 49th OVERALL PICK to NEW ORLEANS for their 2025 FIRST ROUND PICK

49. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS – KINGSLEY SUAMATAIA, OT, BYU

New Orleans loves to wheel and deal with absolutely no regard for the future, as they prioritize drafting terrible players in the present. Suamataia is a guy who seemingly struggles at blocking. He’s an excellent candidate to fill Trevor Penning’s clown shoes.


50. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES – SEDRICK VAN PRAN-GRANGER, C, Georgia

The trash birds lost Jason Kelce to the unwavering passage of time, and if they want to continue having a top offensive line they’ll need to start adding some young guys. Here’sis a young guy who I actually like a bit more than Frazier and I think he’ll also go a round ahead of where he was expected to go. Van Pran-Granger is one of the ones who get it done.


51. PITTSBURGH STEELERS – BRADEN FISKE, DT, Florida State

I imagine the Steelers would be assuming that Sedrick VPG would easily be available at this spot, however, my unqualified glimpse into the future says that he will not. With their hand forced, the Steelers pivot to the other side of the ball, strap on a tourniquet and inject some youth right into their defensive line. Cam Heyward is going to turn 54 years old this season and the Steelers should probably consider looking to bolster their defensive line.


52. LOS ANGELES RAMS – PAYTON WILSON, LB, NC State

Despite adding Jared Verse in the first round, the Rams are not one defensive rookie away and continue to add to that side of the ball. Wilson is a ridiculous athlete at his position and his tape is full of elite-level highlight plays. It’s also full of him getting blasted out of the hole, flailing around the field and getting injured. So a mixed bag.

He is the only off-ball linebacker that I’d consider taking in the top 100 this year, so I’ll give him that.


53. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES – KAMREN KINCHENS, S, Miami

Kinchens was widely mocked into the first round before he went to the Combine and displayed the athleticism of a high school gym teacher. That being said, his tape looks good and safety is one of a handful positions where athletic testing seemingly has no correlation to NFL performance. The city of Philadelphia will certainly understand the growing pains if he constantly gets beat deep by slot receivers next season.


TRADE – CLEVELAND trades the 54th PICK TO HOUSTON FOR THE 59th PICK and 123rd PICK (4th ROUND)

The board for Cleveland isn’t great, so they try to recoup some of the draft capital that Houston stole from them in the Deshaun Watson trade.

54. HOUSTON TEXANS – COOPER BEEBE, G, Kansas State

Houston needs IOL help, so they jump over Miami and Dallas to ensure that they can get one they like. Here’s an interior offensive lineman who is ranked high on a list in Cooper Beebe.

From a quick search, I have learned that Beebe has elite athletic testing metrics and that he is a certified road-grader. Fortunately, he is expected to quit his job at the Kansas Department of Transportation to focus exclusively on his football career.


55. MIAMI DOLPHINS – CHRISTIAN HAYNES, G, UCONN

Here’s another guy I picked off a list. I’ve literally never heard of him until right now, because I’m not going to spend my days watching mid-round guards play against Sacred Heart University. I’m sure he’ll have a long and fruitful NFL career.


56. DALLAS COWBOYS – TREY BENSON, RB, Florida State

Terrible luck for the Cowboys, as the two teams in front of them snatch up the top remaining IOL. As their running back room is so bad that it has become a meme, this seems like a reasonable pivot.


57. TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS – JONAH ELLISS, EDGE, Utah

I forgot this guy was available, as if my mocking him into the first round someone took him off the board. Instead of drafting him aţ 26, the Bucs can get him at 57. That seems like a good deal!


58. GREEN BAY PACKERS – KHYREE JACKSON, CB, Oregon

The positions of need for Green Bay seem to be the ones that have been picked clean by this point in the draft. So let’s reach Dhalsim-style for a corner.


59. CLEVELAND BROWNS – RUKE ORHORHORO, DT, Clemson

Sure, why not. I don’t love this guy but he tested off the charts so, sure.


60. BUFFALO BILLS – TYLER NUBIN, S, Minnesota

The Bills used to have two good safeties, now they suddenly have none. Life comes at you in an instant, Buffalo! Nubin is similar to Kinchens in that he looked pretty good on tape before running the 40 like an Olympic racewalker.


61. DETROIT LIONS – BRANDON DORLUS, EDGE/DT, Oregon

I saw some smoke about Brandon Dorlus blowing up the Senior Bowl, so I watched some of his play at Oregon and was thoroughly unimpressed. However, he does apparently have the athleticism and skill to beat OL, and that’s a pretty good start.


62. BALTIMORE RAVENS – JERMAINE BURTON, WR, Alabama

Slim pickings for Baltimore, so I’m going to hand them a receiver who I think is quite underrated and mocked too low. Burton did punch a chick in the face once but that never stopped Tyreek Hill from becoming a great receiver.


63. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS – KIRAN AMEGADJIE

Hey, here’s an offensive tackle off of a list! Enjoy!


64. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS – JA’LYNN POLK, WR, Washington

Sure the Chiefs drafted fast Christian Kirk Xavier Worthy in the first, but they still need to do everything they can to keep Sky Moore and Mecole Hardman as far away from the field as legally possible.

[brian]

Came out today that the Falcons didn’t bother telling Cousins they were drafting a QB, which….what a clown show. Not that I feel sorry for a Bible thumper like Cousins but still. He kind of had a right to expect them to take an asset which might actually help them win now especially given how relatively wide open that division is.

[Nonlinear FC]

That is just a wild pick. Like a total WTF move.

I'm not sure if this is true, but there are pictures of the owner down in the team room... allegedly not happy with that pick. Don't know if I buy that, but boy... Kevin Costner ain't walking through that door.

[Nonlinear FC]

BTW, and not for nothing, but I don't know that most ppl are looking at the flip side of this. You think Penix is psyched about this? Dude is OLD for a draftee, he's ready now (IMO) and now he's going to what will most surely be a tough QB room. I'd be livid if I were him. The point of getting drafted is to work towards your second contract ASAP.

How's he going to do that sitting behind Cousins?

Just a really bizarre move.

[brian]

BTW, and not for nothing, but I don't know that most ppl are looking at the flip side of this. You think Penix is psyched about this? Dude is OLD for a draftee, he's ready now (IMO) and now he's going to what will most surely be a tough QB room. I'd be livid if I were him. The point of getting drafted is to work towards your second contract ASAP.

How's he going to do that sitting behind Cousins?

Just a really bizarre move.

Exactly and short of injury Cousins is penciled in as the starter for at least two years. Dude was guaranteed $100M. Best case for Penix is to take over in 2026 and in that scenario Cousins is either likely a reluctant backup with a huge cap hit or has been jettisoned for an even bigger cap hit. An absolute WTF gamble by the Falcons.

[Pruitt IV]

Every thing I know about the Bills first draft pick is this...

Keon Coleman: More of a name than a superstar, as he was always making highlight reel catches on Sportscenter top plays and a lot of people probably just saw that. On the negative, he’s a terrible route runner and doesn’t have great speed to suggest that he’s anything more than flashy N’Keal Harry. He is only 21 and plays faster in game than he timed, but I wouldn’t take him in the first. I do think he can become a good NFL WR however there’s risk here.

N'Keal Harry? Yikes.

[EdRomero]

Every thing I know about the Bills first draft pick is this...

Keon Coleman: More of a name than a superstar, as he was always making highlight reel catches on Sportscenter top plays and a lot of people probably just saw that. On the negative, he’s a terrible route runner and doesn’t have great speed to suggest that he’s anything more than flashy N’Keal Harry. He is only 21 and plays faster in game than he timed, but I wouldn’t take him in the first. I do think he can become a good NFL WR however there’s risk here.

N'Keal Harry? Yikes.

I was thinking of Harry when the Pats just drafted Polk.

[Gunpowder]

Every thing I know about the Bills first draft pick is this...

Keon Coleman: More of a name than a superstar, as he was always making highlight reel catches on Sportscenter top plays and a lot of people probably just saw that. On the negative, he’s a terrible route runner and doesn’t have great speed to suggest that he’s anything more than flashy N’Keal Harry. He is only 21 and plays faster in game than he timed, but I wouldn’t take him in the first. I do think he can become a good NFL WR however there’s risk here.

N'Keal Harry? Yikes.

He does separate much better than Harry tho. I kinda like this fit

I just also happen to think that Adonai Mitchell moves like Justin Jefferson

[Johnnie]

This guy is a fucking jackass. Omg.

[brian]

Lions aren’t playing around at rebuilding their secondary.

[Pruitt IV]

Lions aren’t playing around at rebuilding their secondary.

The NFC Central is going to be wild this season.

[Shirley]

I almost entirely avoid all of the pre-draft nonsense, so maybe this wasn't surprising to others, but I couldn't believe when I checked and saw that the Steelers got Peyton Wilson with their 4th pick. That dude is a beast! You obviously never know how these things will turn out, but I'd say Pittsburgh did very well with their first 4 picks.

[Brontoburglar]

injury concerns + the declining importance of linebackers in the NFL

[L-Jam3]

Jeremiah Trotter, Jr.!

[sancarlos]

Read an article by Yahoo (Frank Schwab, not Bronto) that opined that the attitude displayed in the documentary excerpted in this tweet may have sunk Spencer Rattler’s draft stock (he went on the 5th round - much lower than many expected).

[HaulCitgo]

Is the tape worth the headache? Pretty black and white. They will hire the most depraved humans on the planet with the right attributes

[Gunpowder]

That video is really, really bad but he was young and may have changed AND his actual play suggests he should be picked on Day 3.

[Gunpowder]

injury concerns + the declining importance of linebackers in the NFL

Enormous, bright-red flag injury concerns, his advanced age for a prospect and his weighing like 180 lbs.

I think it's a good pick at that juncture but it's not surprising that he didn't go earlier.

[Gunpowder]

Is the tape worth the headache? Pretty black and white. They will hire the most depraved humans on the planet with the right attributes

Exactly...if he's still just an annoying douche, his tape is not worth anything more than a day 3 flier. Even if not I never understood the draft hype for this guy.

[tennbengal]

I have been out of town and mostly off-line for the duration of this but...I can't believe how little reaction there really was in here to how over-the-top insane the Falcons move was. Like, that might be genuinely the craziest/dumbest pick in the NFL draft. Ever. Not hyperbole. It's so bad. All of the process that went into that. Like, almost comically bad. Like, if you told me that Falcons GM had someone secretly put in a $1,000,000 bet somewhere on Penix going 8 overall, then, ok...that would explain it. Beyond that...holy smokes.

[Nonlinear FC]

I mean, I'm on record up there.

I think it's almost like it didn't really need to be said because SO MANY folks were saying it.

[Gunpowder]

Yeah and I mean it was the signing of Kirk Cousins that makes it problematic moreso than the pick itself, which I don't think is crazy in a vacuum.

But when you consider the Cousins contract, like, every possible defense of the move immediately falls apart upon surface-level questioning.