Thoughts on Aging

[govmentchedda]

Even when it is the "right time", it isn't easy. Really sorry, DiS.

[garyclark]

Sending love your way, Dave.

Please take care of yourself.

[GoodKarma]

My condolences Dave

[wlu_lax6]

Sending thoughts and love to your family

[sancarlos]

Sorry for your loss, Dave.

[Sabo]

Sorry to hear this, Dave. I’m glad you were able to spend time with her before she left this world.

[EdRomero]

So sorry Dave

I've been avoiding this thread because I thought it was about how we are all aging and don't have much time left compared to several years ago, and I'm struggling with that. But then when I see all the notes on parents, it's so rough and I see so many similarities. My dad passed 5 years ago and I still really struggle with it even though it was for the best (Alzheimers). My mom's going relatively strong but she openly talks about how she won't be here much longer (it's usually in the context of her complaining about politics and where the country may be heading). It just seems like all the older people I grew up looking up to have passed and it sucks. Not to mentions the people my age that have passed. On good days, I try to be thankful for the good I experienced; other times I just want to roll up in the fetal position. On that note, I just watched Snoop Dogg carrying the Olympic Torch with Kelly Clarkson and Peyton Manning commentating on it, so, Yay, distractions.

[cerranoredux]

Very sorry, Dave.

[DaveInSeattle]

Thanks everyone for the condolences. Memorial service is on 8/6 in beautiful and scenic (#sarcasm) Manti, Utah.

Obituary is here: https://ladailypost.com/obituary-margar ... y-25-2024/

[mister d]

Sorry, DiS.

[bfj]

Thanks everyone for the condolences. Memorial service is on 8/6 in beautiful and scenic (#sarcasm) Manti, Utah.

Obituary is here: https://ladailypost.com/obituary-margar ... -25-2024/]

I'm so sorry for your family's loss.

Margaret was born on October 10, 1932, in Provo, Utah to George Osmond and Venna Dunford.

Like, those Osmonds? Or is that a common Utah/Mormon last name?

[The Sybian]

Sorry Dave.

Should we contact the Daily for misprepositioning you? They referred to you as DaveOfSeattle.

[DaveInSeattle]

Like, those Osmonds? Or is that a common Utah/Mormon last name?

Yeah...through my grandfather, we are loosely related (2nd Cousins or something) to THOSE OSMONDS.

I remember as a kid going to a huge Osmond family reunion in Provo, where those Osmonds were there. I didn't see what the big deal was...even as a child I knew they were lame.

[DaveInSeattle]

Currently in the worst place (Provo, UT) for the worst reason (my mom's memorial service later today).

It was really strange being out to dinner last night with family, and not having my mom there.

My sister has a son, John, who is autistic, and when I saw them for the first time yesterday afternoon, he gave me a hug and told me "I miss Grandma". All I could do was hug him back and tell him "Yes, we all do".

And it's going to be about 100 degrees today...which is going to make for a long day, compounded by wearing a suit for most of it. I'm packing some shorts and flip flops to change into after the service.

[Steve of phpBB]

Good luck with everything today.

I actually thought I'd be able to make it down there - I had a client meeting scheduled for Spanish Fork, so it would have just been another hour or so, but the meeting got cancelled.

My thoughts are with you and your dad.

[The Sybian]

Thoughts are with you and your family Dave.

[DaveInSeattle]

Thanks everyone...we made it through the day. I think my Dad was happy/satisfied with how everything went.

Not to be off-color...but this was the first time I've ever been a pallbearer. Those caskets are freakin' heavy!

And the hardest part of the day...was trying to find a place to get an "adult beverage" with my brother-in-law when we got back to Provo. (we finally succeeded.)

[mister d]

Interesting, I was the total opposite. Had to do it for the first time last year (father-in-law) and even switched sides out of fear my shoulder would finally blow out at a "real bad time", but it ended up much easier than expected. There were a few pretty strong dudes so maybe they just handled it for me?

[A_B]

I've been a pallbearer many times, unfortunately. I am surprised a son was a pallbearer. In my experience the immediate family usually doesn't do that, but I'm sure every family is different. Or even area and not family.


I know that's tough DiS. Thinking of you and your fam.

[Steve of phpBB]

I am surprised a son was a pallbearer.

Huh. That concept never even occurred to me. I was a pallbearer for my dad a couple of years ago, and I'm pretty sure sons have been pallbearers in other funerals I've participated in.

At my dad's funeral, we actually allowed women to participate as pallbearers. I don't think I've seen that any other time.

[A_B]

I am surprised a son was a pallbearer.

Huh. That concept never even occurred to me. I was a pallbearer for my dad a couple of years ago, and I'm pretty sure sons have been pallbearers in other funerals I've participated in.

At my dad's funeral, we actually allowed women to participate as pallbearers. I don't think I've seen that any other time.

It may be a function of famiy size and age as well. Lots of grandkids/nephews etc in the right age range.

[sancarlos]

The only time I’ve been a pallbearer was for my mother-in-law. That casket was heavy.

[Ryan]

Wisconsin?

[Giff]

I hear they bury you with a wheel of your favorite cheese.

[DaveInSeattle]

I am surprised a son was a pallbearer.

Huh. That concept never even occurred to me. I was a pallbearer for my dad a couple of years ago, and I'm pretty sure sons have been pallbearers in other funerals I've participated in.

At my dad's funeral, we actually allowed women to participate as pallbearers. I don't think I've seen that any other time.

It may be a function of famiy size and age as well. Lots of grandkids/nephews etc in the right age range.

I was really a function of a) who was there, and b) who was healthy enough to do the job. There were some uncles of mine there, but they are all in their 70's - 80's.

The Pallbeares were me, my brother-in-law, another brother-in-law, 2 of my nephews, and the son of one of my nephews.

[The Sybian]

The fun never stops. My parents are in NJ for my Dad’s cancer treatment and tripped in the parking lot. They took him to the hospital in an ambulance, they think he broke his hip. Fortunately just 29 minutes from me, and hospital is about 15. Picking my mom up now to get their car. Hoping she does better with the driving than she did last year when they sent my dad to the hospital. Kept forgetting she has a built in Garmin and kept getting on the highway in the wrong direction. Seriously debated taking her license, but she was just overwhelmed and panicky.

[Steve of phpBB]

The fun never stops. My parents are in NJ for my Dad’s cancer treatment and tripped in the parking lot. They took him to the hospital in an ambulance, they think he broke his hip. Fortunately just 29 minutes from me, and hospital is about 15. Picking my mom up now to get their car. Hoping she does better with the driving than she did last year when they sent my dad to the hospital. Kept forgetting she has a built in Garmin and kept getting on the highway in the wrong direction. Seriously debated taking her license, but she was just overwhelmed and panicky.

Oh dear. I’m sorry, Syb.

[sancarlos]

Yeah, sorry bud. I could easily see that happening with my folks.

[Johnny Carwash]

Sorry man.

[DSafetyGuy]

I'm not going to rehash all the stuff my mom (turns 74 in November) has gone through the last five years, but her current diagnosis is lewy body dementia. A staffer at her current assisted living facility thinks she has somewhere around 6-8 months until her health will slide enough that she will need to go to a nursing home.

Unknown.jpeg (10.49 KiB) Viewed 5300 times

[govmentchedda]

Sorry guys.

[mister d]

This thread sucks shit, esp with a good HS friend’s dad also in bad shape right now. Sorry guys.

[elflaco2]

jeebus
so sorry DIS.
Syb.. hang in there
been meaning to come in here and let it out. too much going on. on both ends. was just talking to an old friend about all of this going on. just so much, but nothing that none of us isn't facing. fcuk

[The Sybian]

Thanks guys. It's a fractured hip. Good news, he was cleared for surgery tomorrow. Surgeon wasn't sure the internists would approve anesthesia due to all of his medications and health conditions. Bad news, it'll be a week in the hospital and then several weeks of rehab. Not sure if he can sit in a car for 3 hours to get home. My mom is staying with us while he is in the hospital, no idea what happens after that. Fortunately my mom is smart enough to pack a weeks worth of medication for a one night stay just in case. She only has one extra change of clothes. She says she is going to drive home and back Wednesday, not sure I like that idea. It's a 3 hour drive. Just when you see a break in the horizon from constantly taking care of your kids, you realize you are going to have to take care of your parents.

Old man puts on a good front, cracking jokes with all the doctors, but he suddenly burst out crying to the oncologist because everything has gone wrong since this started. And he is worried that he'll miss treatments and the cancer will spread. The other tough moment was when the resident asked all the questions about whether they should try to resuscitate him if anything goes wrong. After telling the doctor in detail why he doesn't want them to try to save him, he stared me down and told me I better not tell them to try to resuscitate. I actually appreciated it after, he said he wants no guilt if I tell them to pull the plug. Turns out he couldn't say that when his mother was dying, and put her through months of unnecessary suffering. He said decision is on him, so I shouldn't feel guilty, but if I make him suffer, it's on me.

[bfj]

He said decision is on him, so I shouldn't feel guilty, but if I make him suffer, it's on me.

Wow. That’s some direct shit right there. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

[rass]

Sorry guys.

[DaveInSeattle]

He said decision is on him, so I shouldn't feel guilty, but if I make him suffer, it's on me.

Woah...that's some serious stuff.

Sorry mate...

[mister d]

He said decision is on him, so I shouldn't feel guilty, but if I make him suffer, it's on me.

This is a really great thing to say. Has to lift a potentially huge weight.

[The Sybian]

He said decision is on him, so I shouldn't feel guilty, but if I make him suffer, it's on me.

This is a really great thing to say. Has to lift a potentially huge weight.

You know, it was dark as fuck, but I really appreciated it. He’s told me for years he doesn’t want to be resuscitated, but I don’t think I realized the gravity of the feelings that would come with making the decision in the moment. He very rarely discusses or even acknowledges emotions at all, so hearing him talk about still regretting not letting his mother die 35 years ago hit deep.

[Nonlinear FC]

When I visited my dad a few weeks before he passed, he was in a hospital bed type thing right next to the kitchen. Hanging from the fridge was a big ass "Do Not Resuscitate" sign with smaller print explaining that medical professionals (or anyone else) shouldn't do this or that... I don't really remember the fine print...

But I will always remember that sign hanging behind him. I mean, I knew the guy was knocking on the door before I drove down there. But that was a real fucking smack of reality to the dome.