OFFICIAL getting it in the butt thread

[Giff]

Civil War pows. Bad joke.

[TankFarm2023]

My third is approaching rapidly, a week after my 62nd birthday. It's astonishing how much the prep and the procedure have changed since my first go round. My second followed the first fairly closely, after a nasty encounter with diverticulitis that kept me in the hospital for almost two weeks.

The second was at a clinic somewhere in the hinterlands between Bensonhurst and Gravesend, and I may have been the only non-Russian patient. I got the earliest appointment I could, somewhere around 8 am, and as I waited in my little partitioned room, they wheeled a very vocal, very angry Russian guy back from the O.R. There was a lot of yelling and cursing, the man's daughter the only family member able to speak English, trying to soothe the hostilities. The old guy hadn't followed the prep instructions, so they wheeled him back with the rest of us, only to find that he'd taken his laxatives an hour before the procedure. At which point there was the awful sound of his body evacuating all over the floor, and an odor best described as emetic.


Fingers crossed for this next procedure.

[sancarlos]

Nice to see another old timer. Good luck.

Emetic. Had to look up that one.

[P.D.X.]

Either he doesn’t know how laxatives work or he timed it perfectly.

[Shirley]

Losing my butt cherry tomorrow. I'm pretty sure the only prep I've been told about is no dinner tonight and I have a box with some stuff I have to drink tonight and then tomorrow morning. I'm not looking forward to that stuff or the subsequent shitting.

Apparently I can drink clear fluids, including juices, so I'm gonna get a bottle of apple juice for my dinner tonight. I figure having some calories would be good.

Any suggestions? Am I going to be able to sleep tonight after I drink that stuff?

[The Sybian]

Losing my butt cherry tomorrow. I'm pretty sure the only prep I've been told about is no dinner tonight and I have a box with some stuff I have to drink tonight and then tomorrow morning. I'm not looking forward to that stuff or the subsequent shitting.

Apparently I can drink clear fluids, including juices, so I'm gonna get a bottle of apple juice for my dinner tonight. I figure having some calories would be good.

Any suggestions? Am I going to be able to sleep tonight after I drink that stuff?

If you are limited to clear liquids, I'd go for a bottle of tequila.

[mister d]

I just got a play-by-play from a first timer friend and it feels like you're really underestimating the shitting drink if you're adding apple juice to the mix.

[Shirley]

Should I just stick to water?

[P.D.X.]

I don't think the apple juice will stay in you long enough to reap much caloric benefit.

[sancarlos]

My advice is to start the cleanse early. You want to be completely cleaned out and you want to sleep in bed, not on the toilet.

[Nonlinear FC]

I did Lime gatorade (it was on the approved list) and made sure to just keep to as close to whatever interval was allowed so I could get it over with ASAP. (ETA - Yep to SC's similar advice.)

I think apple juice might've been tougher to slug down, but that's just me (I like apple juice, but it can get a little cloying.)

As mentioned up thread, it's not a fun night. But, it's also just one night. You will eventually get to a place you can sleep... But it was fitful for me, at best.

That said, I also wasn't trying to mess around and work the next day. I slept off the night-night juice and had some soup for lunch and by that evening I was fine. But I was kind of a waste of space until pretty deep in the afternoon.

[A_B]

Should I just stick to water?

Gatorade’s and water. But no red or purple gatorade

[GoodKarma]

You can also consume Jell-O as long as it’s not red or purple

[mister d]

Red is the only good gatorade so that's going to be a pass over here.

[A_B]

Red is the only good gatorade so that's going to be a pass over here.

I vdd ant drink red anymore. Too sweet.

[mister d]

That almost reads like Dracula swearing he's off blood.

[Shirley]

Not sure why I didn't think of Gatorade. I'll do that.

Good advice on starting the purge early. I was wondering if it was cool to do it around dinner time rather than closer to bed time. I think I'll do that. Then maybe I can sleep without shitting myself.

[HaulCitgo]

I've made it. 7up anti hunger idea was solid but not my poo. I'm still shitting water and my asshole is pretty raw from wiping. Only cause I know you've got a solution for the next guy. Drink the liquid with ice and a straw. Preferably a fat milkshake one

[sancarlos]

I just got a message from my clinic that I’m supposed to get another colonoscopy. Dammit, I just got one five years ago!

[sancarlos]

Well, today is my “prep” day for a colonoscopy tomorrow. My third one! Thought you guys would want to know.

[govmentchedda]

Good reminder for me to get it on the books.

[Shirley]

Well, today is my “prep” day for a colonoscopy tomorrow. My third one! Thought you guys would want to know.

squiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirt

[wlu_lax6]

I am up next Wed.

[Ryan]

So much liquid

[rass]

More like turds gurgle, son

[mister d]

So much liquid

[ ] In
[ ] Out
[ ] Yes

I'm signed up to go next month. Super excited.

[Ryan]

Definitely yes. But so far the shitty beige diet has been way worse than the miralax.

[A_B]

More like turds gurgle, son

1/3 of a gold star to you.

[mister d]

Definitely yes. But so far the shitty beige diet has been way worse than the miralax.

You're not supposed to eat it. Just flush.

[The Sybian]

Definitely yes. But so far the shitty beige diet has been way worse than the miralax.

You're not supposed to eat it. Just flush.

They really should have explained that on the label.

[Ryan]

Best grocery store croissant sandwich of my damn life. Also the doctor did a more cowbell joke right as I drifted off.

[mister d]

How do you feel now?

[Ryan]

Still might need a couple more cleansing dumps but…normal

[rass]

I had a Payday bar from a convenience store up the street from the medical center. It was great!

[Ryan]

Realizing that I’m somehow on the young side of our group so this may not help too many people, I would rank the components thusly (worst to least worst):

1. No solid foods for 40-something hours. This is bordering on cruel and unusual.
2. The “your dog just had diarrhea” diet for a whole week. Can a bitch get a strawberry at least?
3. Just the physical act of having to go get it done. Ugh, doing something in person? What year is this?
4. The pooping. Not the constant ordeal I was picturing. A couple extended trips at first but it was mostly like peeing 10 times a day. Didn’t magically go away during sleep though so that does suck.
5. The colonoscopy itself. I got my (2nd) upper endo at the same time so it was mostly familiar. “The prep is worse than the procedure” remains a massive understatement unless you’re just freaked out by hospitals and IVs and such.
6. Glacier Cherry Gatorade Zero. A surprise win.

[mister d]

5. The colonoscopy itself. I got my (2nd) upper endo at the same time so it was mostly familiar.

Picturing the medical staff twirling you around like a jump rope.

[P.D.X.]

My #1 is being wheeled out to the curb in a chair. I can walk just fine dammit.