This Cleveland Missing Girl Thing

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Tue May 07, 2013 9:14 am

Some funny comments by the hero who rescued the girl.

...Kosich: And when did you see Gina?

Ramsey: About… About five minutes after the police got here. See that girl Amanda, told the police “I ain’t the only one. There’s some more girls up in that house.” So they go up in there, 30, 40, deep. And when they came out, it was just astonishing. ‘Cause I thought they would come up with nothing. Like I said my neighbor, you got to have some pretty big testicles to pull this off, bro. Because we see this dude every day. I mean every day.

Kosich: How long have you live here?

Ramsey: I’ve been here a year. You see where I’m coming from? I barbeque with this dude. We eat ribs and whatnot and listen to salsa music. You see where I’m coming from?

Kosich: And you had no indications?

Ramsey: Bro, not a clue that that girl was in that house. Or anybody else was in there against their will. Because how he is. He just comes out to his backyard, plays with the dogs, tinkering with his cars and motorcycles, go back in the house. So he’s somebody you look, then look away. He’s not doing anything, but the average stuff. You see what I’m saying? There’s nothing exciting about him. Well, until today.

Kosich: What were the reactions on the girls’ faces? I can’t imagine to see the sunlight…

Ramsey: Bro, I knew something was wrong when a little, pretty white girl ran into a black man’s arms. Something is wrong here. Dead giveaway. Dead giveaway.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Tue May 07, 2013 9:43 am

kranepool · Post by **kranepool** » Tue May 07, 2013 9:53 am

It pays to watch the whole thing.

Keg · Post by **Keg** » Tue May 07, 2013 9:59 am

That video is awesome.

Post by **brian** » Tue May 07, 2013 10:00 am

Ohio, man.

Fuckin' Ohio.

HaulCitgo · Post by **HaulCitgo** » Tue May 07, 2013 11:16 am

That's A1 level. Comedy gold. Chappelle got nothing on real life.

Scottie · Post by **Scottie** » Tue May 07, 2013 11:35 am

He needs to do a duet with Sweet Brown.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Tue May 07, 2013 12:15 pm

Of course, this is all a hoax anyway. Sylvia Browne told her mother that she was murdered 7 years ago. Psychics are never wrong.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Tue May 07, 2013 12:28 pm

Jerloma wrote:Of course, this is all a hoax anyway. Sylvia Browne told her mother that she was murdered 7 years ago. Psychics are never wrong.

Reminds me of a couple lines in Raising Arizona.

Reporter: lt's rumored your son was abducted by UFOs. Would you care to comment?
Nathan Arizona: Don't print that, son. lf his mama reads that, she's just gonna lose all hope.

Post by **brian** » Tue May 07, 2013 12:33 pm

I think the question we're all wondering is what exactly IS Jim Tressel's involvement in all of this? Accomplice? Mastermind?

kranepool · Post by **kranepool** » Tue May 07, 2013 1:30 pm

sancarlos wrote:Reporter: lt's rumored your son was abducted by UFOs. Would you care to comment?
Nathan Arizona: Don't print that, son. lf his mama reads that, she's just gonna lose all hope.

One of my all-time favorites.

Cop: What did the pajamas look like?
Nathan Sr.: I don't know - they were jammies! They had Yodas 'n' shit on 'em!

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Tue May 07, 2013 1:44 pm

Jerloma wrote:

Check out the guy right behind Ramsey, in the video. He's wearing a leather biker vest, and he turns around, so the camera can read the great patches sewed on the back of the vest. Look closely.

kranepool · Post by **kranepool** » Tue May 07, 2013 2:09 pm

Watching this, I can't stop thinking that this guy relocated from New Orleans to Cleveland:

govmentchedda · Post by **govmentchedda** » Tue May 07, 2013 2:10 pm

kranepool wrote:
sancarlos wrote:Reporter: lt's rumored your son was abducted by UFOs. Would you care to comment?
Nathan Arizona: Don't print that, son. lf his mama reads that, she's just gonna lose all hope.
One of my all-time favorites.

Cop: What did the pajamas look like?
Nathan Sr.: I don't know - they were jammies! They had Yodas 'n' shit on 'em!

Evelle: [about the balloons he just bought] These blow up into funny shapes and all?
Grocer: Well no... unless round is funny.

Scottie · Post by **Scottie** » Tue May 07, 2013 2:15 pm

sancarlos wrote:Check out the guy right behind Ramsey, in the video. He's wearing a leather biker vest, and he turns around, so the camera can read the great patches sewed on the back of the vest. Look closely.

Hilarious. Took me a little bit to discern the message on his back-right (the "Mr Right" one). The truly funny part is that clip aired pretty much around the world and doubtlessly a guhzillion times on CNN's Headline News.

Keg · Post by **Keg** » Tue May 07, 2013 2:17 pm

The 911 call is also gold:

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Tue May 07, 2013 2:39 pm

Scottie wrote:
sancarlos wrote:Check out the guy right behind Ramsey, in the video. He's wearing a leather biker vest, and he turns around, so the camera can read the great patches sewed on the back of the vest. Look closely.
Hilarious. Took me a little bit to discern the message on his back-right (the "Mr Right" one). The truly funny part is that clip aired pretty much around the world and doubtlessly a guhzillion times on CNN's Headline News.

In case you can't read the biker's patches.

Keg · Post by **Keg** » Tue May 07, 2013 5:18 pm

Missing women raped, beaten while pregnant

CLEVELAND -- The women found safe last night on Seymour Avenue were forced to have sex with their captors, resulting in up to five pregnancies, several police sources tell Channel 3 News.

One of those sources tells the Investigator Tom Meyer that the captors would beat the pregnant girls. Both sources say the babies didn't survive.

Calls to the Cleveland Police Department were not immediately returned.

The sources say it is unclear what happened following the pregnancies.

Police have arrested three men following the discovery of Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus and Michele Knight on Monday evening.

Investigators are going through the home for clues, including the backyard where they found "disturbed" dirt. The sources did not know whether that was related to the pregnancies.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Tue May 07, 2013 9:56 pm

Well that puts a bit of a damper on the Charles Ramsey gold.

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Tue May 07, 2013 10:52 pm

Jerloma wrote:Well that puts a bit of a damper on the Charles Ramsey gold.

Because you figured they were treated like princesses?

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Tue May 07, 2013 11:05 pm

bfj wrote:
Jerloma wrote:Well that puts a bit of a damper on the Charles Ramsey gold.

Because you figured they were treated like princesses?

No...not for a second. That's the the joke.

ZMan · Post by **ZMan** » Wed May 08, 2013 12:28 am

"I don't have a fucking clue, brah. I'm just standing here with McDonalds."

Goddamn, if that isn't America in a nutshell, I don't know what is.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Wed May 08, 2013 2:52 am

The Schmoyoho auto-tune remix:

Also, pics:

Post by **Sabo** » Wed May 08, 2013 7:33 am

Johnnie wrote:

That's great.

Scottie · Post by **Scottie** » Wed May 08, 2013 8:57 pm

Jerloma wrote:Well that puts a bit of a damper on the Charles Ramsey gold.

So does being a convicted felon.

HaulCitgo · Post by **HaulCitgo** » Wed May 08, 2013 9:05 pm

Not really. Mostly its the rape, poorly buried newborns and a decade of bondage.

Post by **Sabo** » Thu May 09, 2013 8:23 am

$8 million bail set this morning.

Seems rather low.

Post by **Shirley** » Thu May 09, 2013 8:45 am

Scottie wrote:
Jerloma wrote:Well that puts a bit of a damper on the Charles Ramsey gold.
So does being a convicted felon.

See, this is an aspect of modern media I could do without. Why does this matter to this story? Sure, this guy could be a dirtbag, but he answered the call of a stranger calling for help. He's not Superman and he's not a hero, but he did a very good act and he deserves some praise for it.

Rams Fanny · Post by **Rams Fanny** » Thu May 09, 2013 9:03 am

Jerloma wrote:Of course, this is all a hoax anyway. Sylvia Browne told her mother that she was murdered 7 years ago. Psychics are never wrong.

Only God is right all the time

Post by **Sabo** » Fri May 10, 2013 6:25 am

I'm somewhat tempted to get arrested and taken to jail just so I could possibly get the same cell as this asshole and I could then beat the ever living fuck out of him.

Ex-relatives call Castro a wife-beating, two-faced monster.

Post by **Sabo** » Fri Jul 26, 2013 7:08 am

Ariel Castro is expected in court this morning, and it's believed he's agreed to a plea deal that will include a life sentence without parole, plus 1,000 years.

I hope that's the case. The worst thing that could happen is to force the three women to testify.

A question for the Swamp lawyers: What's the purpose of adding on additional time to a life without parole sentence? Is it just to make the prosecutor look good? Or is there a way to truly get out of jail when you have a life without parole sentence?

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Fri Jul 26, 2013 7:11 am

Sabo wrote:Ariel Castro is expected in court this morning, and it's believed he's agreed to a plea deal that will include a life sentence without parole, plus 1,000 years.

I hope that's the case. The worst thing that could happen is to force the three women to testify.

A question for the Swamp lawyers: What's the purpose of adding on additional time to a life without parole sentence? Is it just to make the prosecutor look good? Or is there a way to truly get out of jail when you have a life without parole sentence?

What if you go into a coma, are legally dead for a minute, then revived? Come on Sabes.

Scottie · Post by **Scottie** » Thu Aug 01, 2013 1:06 pm

Sabo wrote:A question for the Swamp lawyers: What's the purpose of adding on additional time to a life without parole sentence? Is it just to make the prosecutor look good? Or is there a way to truly get out of jail when you have a life without parole sentence?

Bump.

I sort of asked this on Twitter as well (not that I'm expecting a reasonable answer over there). 1000+ years is the Scientology contract of sentences. Surely there has to be a reason for it. It can't simply be overkill sentencing. Is it to guarantee there cannot be any appeals or profiteering from the crimes? Something like that?

Post by **Sabo** » Thu Aug 01, 2013 1:52 pm

Shortly after I asked that question, I read a story that quoted the Cuyahoga County prosecutor as saying they went for the additional 1,000 years as a symbolic measure, to highlight how malicious his crimes were.

It's a moot point. I expect he'll be killed in prison within a few years, assuming he doesn't serve his entire sentence in solitary confinement for his own protection.

Scottie · Post by **Scottie** » Tue Sep 03, 2013 11:24 pm

Aaaaaaaaand . . . ballgame.

Cleveland Kidnapper Ariel Castro Found Hanging in Prison Cell

howard · Post by **howard** » Tue Sep 03, 2013 11:29 pm

Thank you scottie. I was tempted to try and be cute, and start a new thread: Castro Dead

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Wed Sep 04, 2013 6:50 am

Don't they take things like belts away from prisoners so they can't hang themselves?

Anyway, let's hope that there is an afterlife.

Steve of phpBB · Post by **Steve of phpBB** » Wed Sep 04, 2013 9:38 am

Sabo wrote:I'm somewhat tempted to get arrested and taken to jail just so I could possibly get the same cell as this asshole and I could then beat the ever living fuck out of him.

Ex-relatives call Castro a wife-beating, two-faced monster.

Can anyone vouch for your whereabouts last night?

cerrano · Post by **cerrano** » Wed Sep 04, 2013 5:30 pm

apparently the castro family was angry that they found out about his death via news reports.

of all the things to be angry about, amirite?