The OFFICIAL 2023 NFL Offseason Thread

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Mon Jan 30, 2023 9:40 am

Brontoburglar wrote: ↑Mon Jan 30, 2023 9:21 am
Giff wrote: ↑Sun Jan 29, 2023 11:47 am Crazy that the leading contender for the Texans HC job didn't even interview with them!
pretty sure Ryans first interviewed with the Texans over a week ago?

I posted in the wrong thread for the joke to land. Someone reported after they fired Lovie Smith that he wouldn't interview if the Texans asked.

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Mon Jan 30, 2023 9:59 am

Giff wrote: ↑Mon Jan 30, 2023 9:40 am
Brontoburglar wrote: ↑Mon Jan 30, 2023 9:21 am
Giff wrote: ↑Sun Jan 29, 2023 11:47 am Crazy that the leading contender for the Texans HC job didn't even interview with them!
pretty sure Ryans first interviewed with the Texans over a week ago?
I posted in the wrong thread for the joke to land. Someone reported after they fired Lovie Smith that he wouldn't interview if the Texans asked.

ahhh I missed that report

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Mon Jan 30, 2023 1:57 pm

As predicted by a a couple swampers, Kellen Moore wasn’t unemployed for long.

Hired by the Chargers

Reaper · Post by **Reaper** » Mon Jan 30, 2023 2:12 pm

brian wrote: ↑Mon Jan 30, 2023 9:02 am
Reaper wrote: ↑Sun Jan 29, 2023 10:58 pm Jerry Jones was so mad watching the Eagles score 31 against the same team Dallas only scored 12 on that he fired Kellen Moore.

The Cowboys scored the most points on the Eagles in a single game this year (40) and stayed alive with an undrafted QB for 4 weeks while Dak was hurt so yeah, Moore will land on his feet.

Yep, well aware. Moore will be just fine. I'm making fun of Jerrah for overreacting and letting Mike McCarthy call plays next year. What could possibly go wrong?

Reaper · Post by **Reaper** » Mon Jan 30, 2023 2:13 pm

Reaper wrote: ↑Mon Jan 30, 2023 2:12 pm
brian wrote: ↑Mon Jan 30, 2023 9:02 am
Reaper wrote: ↑Sun Jan 29, 2023 10:58 pm Jerry Jones was so mad watching the Eagles score 31 against the same team Dallas only scored 12 on that he fired Kellen Moore.

The Cowboys scored the most points on the Eagles in a single game this year (40) and stayed alive with an undrafted QB for 4 weeks while Dak was hurt so yeah, Moore will land on his feet.
Yep, well aware. Moore will be just fine. I'm making fun of Jerrah for overreacting and letting Mike McCarthy call plays next year. What could possibly go wrong?

I posted this before I saw he was hired by the Chargers less than 24 hours after the other news broke.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Mon Jan 30, 2023 2:14 pm

I predict that people are trying to run Kellen Moore out of LA by midseason.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Tue Jan 31, 2023 12:55 pm

Finally some good news on the Baltimore QB front.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Tue Jan 31, 2023 12:57 pm

How is that even possible?

L-Jam3 · Post by **L-Jam3** » Tue Jan 31, 2023 1:09 pm

Oh my God. That’s hilarious.

Post by **brian** » Tue Jan 31, 2023 1:12 pm

Arguably funnier if they had added Deshaun Watson, but yeah, this is weird.

duff · Post by **duff** » Tue Jan 31, 2023 1:14 pm

Matt Ryan has some gripes.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Tue Jan 31, 2023 3:51 pm

Zach Wilson must have been busy.

Post by **brian** » Tue Jan 31, 2023 3:59 pm

The Sybian wrote: ↑Tue Jan 31, 2023 3:51 pm Zach Wilson must have been busy.

All them moms aren't going to fuck themselves.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Tue Jan 31, 2023 4:01 pm

I'm way more likely to watch that than the Pro Bowl games.

Nonlinear FC · Post by **Nonlinear FC** » Tue Jan 31, 2023 4:29 pm

I haven't watched a Pro Bowl in over 25 years. I'm not sure why the game bugs me, but it's way worse than hockey in terms of the actual gameplay because hockey is still fun to watch when it's just a glorified Beer League game.

And the risk of getting hurt.. Just a really dumb event. Just do the skill event stuff and be done.

Post by **brian** » Tue Jan 31, 2023 4:31 pm

Flurry of activity just now.

DeMeco Ryans hired by Houston and Denver finalizing terms of a trade to hire Sean Payton.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Tue Jan 31, 2023 4:57 pm

Very excited about Ryans. Exactly who they needed to breathe some life into this ridiculous franchise.

rass · Post by **rass** » Tue Jan 31, 2023 6:19 pm

Dallas is really keeping McCarthy huh?

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Wed Feb 01, 2023 1:05 am

In other news...

Any guesses?

(Also, that silencer is dope.)

The comments seem to think it's either Carl Nassib, Sam Hubbard, or Cole Kmet.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Wed Feb 01, 2023 8:30 am

Rodgers.

Rex · Post by **Rex** » Wed Feb 01, 2023 8:35 am

Yup, it’s official. Ozzy Osborne is done touring.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Wed Feb 01, 2023 8:39 am

Rex wrote: ↑Wed Feb 01, 2023 8:35 am Yup, it’s official. Ozzy Osborne is done touring.

Lol. Every fucking app with push notes (sports and non sports) just blew up my phone right now.

Here's his post:

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Wed Feb 01, 2023 8:40 am

I've always thought his face was weird, and this drives it home.

DaveInSeattle · Post by **DaveInSeattle** » Wed Feb 01, 2023 8:51 am

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Wed Feb 01, 2023 9:11 am

If this motherscratcher horns in on the super bowl broadcast I will riot.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Wed Feb 01, 2023 9:13 am

Our long national nightmare is over for a month.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed Feb 01, 2023 9:41 am

A_B wrote: ↑Wed Feb 01, 2023 8:40 am I've always thought his face was weird, and this drives it home.

Its both that his face is (or has been made) weird and he has sociopath eyes.

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Wed Feb 01, 2023 9:46 am

He's a disgusting goblin, agreed

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Wed Feb 01, 2023 9:56 am

Rex wrote: ↑Wed Feb 01, 2023 8:35 am Yup, it’s official. Ozzy Osborne is done touring.

I thought this was just a joke about old rockers who constantly un retire...then I saw a different headline that this statement is true as well.

Rex · Post by **Rex** » Wed Feb 01, 2023 10:04 am

Ryan wrote: ↑Wed Feb 01, 2023 9:46 am He's a disgusting goblin, agreed

To be fair, Ozzy has been through a lot.

EnochRoot · Post by **EnochRoot** » Wed Feb 01, 2023 10:12 am

So Tom Brady’s gay, and owns a gun with a silencer?

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed Feb 01, 2023 10:50 am

Trading a 1st round pick for Aaron Rodgers seems pretty dumb for a team that's on the build.

Pruitt IV · Post by **Pruitt IV** » Wed Feb 01, 2023 10:57 am

mister d wrote: ↑Wed Feb 01, 2023 10:50 am Trading a 1st round pick for Aaron Rodgers seems pretty dumb for a team that's on the build.

J-E-T-S! JETS! JETS! JETS!

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Wed Feb 01, 2023 11:47 am

A_B wrote: ↑Wed Feb 01, 2023 9:11 am If this motherscratcher horns in on the super bowl broadcast I will riot.

Raising Arizona reference?

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Wed Feb 01, 2023 11:49 am

mister d wrote: ↑Wed Feb 01, 2023 9:41 am
A_B wrote: ↑Wed Feb 01, 2023 8:40 am I've always thought his face was weird, and this drives it home.
Its both that his face is (or has been made) weird and he has sociopath eyes.

And a lot of work done on his face.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Wed Feb 01, 2023 12:04 pm

sancarlos wrote: ↑Wed Feb 01, 2023 11:47 am
A_B wrote: ↑Wed Feb 01, 2023 9:11 am If this motherscratcher horns in on the super bowl broadcast I will riot.
Raising Arizona reference?

I most frequently hear it in a Pat Green live recording of "Southbound 35" but I can't rule out this is where it actually came from.

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Wed Feb 01, 2023 1:50 pm

Giff wrote: ↑Tue Jan 31, 2023 12:57 pm How is that even possible?

the players vote the alternates, so ... yeah. it went tua, trevor, lamar and then huntley. no herbert.

but, the QB pool was pretty bad anyway. carr replacing burrow because herbert just had shoulder surgery meant that he and ... matt ryan? russ? mac jones? were the next in line. huntley's inclusion for a guy skipping the event to play golf is the perfect example of a pro bowl mockery but the options overall were not great.

Pruitt IV · Post by **Pruitt IV** » Wed Feb 01, 2023 3:04 pm

Tyrod Taylor 2015 Pro Bowler

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Thu Feb 02, 2023 12:09 pm

The virality of this first clip (PFT and Ariana Foster) leading to the 'NFL Script' memes is hilarious to me:

(Swipe through)

Nonlinear FC · Post by **Nonlinear FC** » Thu Feb 02, 2023 12:26 pm

I don't really understand what's going on there. Is the first clip serious? Are they really that delusional? I'm not super familiar with their schtick, so I'm probably missing a really obvious narrative/"inside" joke.